Published March 17, 2013
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141,378 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Hello! First I must say... I was pleasantly surprised! I can't say this is what I was expecting, but I ended up being happy with what I saw instead.
I loved the line, "The finish is in the chamber of the clouds".
I loved how this just left such lovely and creative imagery in my head. The words were simple and the way you used them really added to the novelty of this piece.
The only complaint I can think of is the minor spelling errors. It should not be "it's (it is) creation. There may have been other spelling/ or grammatical errors I didn't detect, so you may want to go over that again. Other than that, I really liked this.
hey,
I am umaima and I am going to give you a short review on this one
Well first of all i would like to say that your poem is really amazing and I really enjoyed it and that you do have talent as a poet...
but I felt like the rhythm wasn't really in this poem and that's an important aspect so I think you might want to consider it.
you might also want to consider punctuation....overall it was amazing so keep on the good work
hope this helped
Hey! I am Asma and i will be submitting a review on this poem, as i really liked it.
So first off, the relation you showed between the wind and a dragon was simply amazing.
And the movements you tried to explain were so fascinating.
The only thing i liked to be changed in this poem is deleting the extra gaps between words and punctuation marks.
The rest is excellent!!!
I wish to read more writings of you and thats pretty much it, So keep writing and thanks for the poem!
All the best for future write-ups!
Hey there! Noir here, and I'll be your reviewer today. Let's rock.
The concept, comparing dragons and wind, was very fun to read about and I hope you make another comparison like it soon. Concept score: 9/10
Concept is the first thing I look at: The concept, being about wind, is fascinating. Wind is such a random and powerful force that it deserves to have a poem about it.
Rhythm up next: The rhythm for this particular piece was very nice. It had a good beat to it, and it was catchy as well. I had only a few points where I felt the rhythm broke, but no point in...well, pointing them out. XD Rhythm score: 8/10
Grammar is last, so you'll be done reading this that much sooner: In the second to last line, you put a semicolon at the end. There were several places where spaces were put between the last word and the commas, and that kind of bugged me. In the third line, you put "it's." *ITS* is the word you want there, as *it's* is a contraction of "it is." 6/10
Overall impression: This poem was good, but there was definitely room for improvement. The concept was great, but your rhythm broke a bit and your grammar needs some work. Fun to read, but needs improvement.
This gets a rating of 7/10.
This has been Noirlumiere, and there's your review. Good night, and keep rocking.