Young Writers Society

Dear @kai.ezra,

I can relate to what you are going through right now. I hope you feel better soon. This is a very good poem, but I would like to point out something that I noticed, if that's okay with you.

I would like to inform you that your poem doesn't really have a layout. It's very important to divide your poem into sections or, as your fellow poets call them, stanzas. If you don't know what they are, they are the paragraph or verse of a poem. Stanzas help the reader understand what is happening, or what message the poet is trying say. Organizing your poetry can help you to write it as well.

How I taught myself to section off my poetry into stanzas is how I taught myself to section off my stories onto paragraphs. Assign each stanza to a topic.

For example, the first paragraph of my review is the introduction. The second paragraph is about stanzas. The third paragraph is mainly about organizing the text. Finally, this paragraph is an example on how I organize MY text.

I hope this review helped you progress as a poet and as a writer in general. I can't wait until you post again, and if you need any help with your poetry, I would be more than happy to help. Until next time!

-@SuperOriginalName

Hey there! Vomit here to review.

Maybe it's just because I have spoken word on the brain, but this really reminds me of Shane Koyczak's "To This Day" spoken word poem. I think this poem would do very well as a spoken word poem.

Overall, the imagery is great, the theme of the poem is clear, and the description of the people who come to take off some of the weight are amazing and descriptive.

A few nitpicky things:

I feel as though some of the longer lines could be broken up to better fit the rhythm of the poem. Same goes with the stanzas - of which there are none. Having it altogether as one giant stanza makes the rhythm of the poem seem rushed and run together.

Second of all, whoever told you that every line has to start with a capitalized letter lied. The whole point of poetry is to understand the rules - so that you can break them. I'd have loved to see some more experimentation, some more pushing boundaries, something radical.

And the punctuation's a little off, but that comes in time the with the more poetry you write.

But again, overall, this piece is really, really good. I'd love to see some more poetry from you.

Keep writing,

- V

This is lovely!

Hello demoncat here for a review.

Now first of id like you to bear with me because. Its been awhile since ive written a review.

Ok welp... I loved this! Its really awesome and i love what you hve done with this! It truely is precious. Ok i did notice afew sentence transistions that could be better. And you didnt use punctuations. But im sure you could go back and fix this easily. I hope you continue to write. I will most likely read it!