In a land not so different than the one you call America, Sanguinem is a nation where murder is considered an art, only performed by elite, trained professionals – for the right price. But when three nobler assassins refused the horrendous task of murdering a small child, they found themselves hunted by the same elite professionals that they once called their co-workers. Now in an allegiance with a mysterious group of assassins known as the Golden Robe Society, can the three assassins stop the maniacal Venus from declaring war on all of Sanguinem?
“We made it!” Selene said, quickly hobbling out of a stolen SUV, slamming the door behind her. “The orphanage. Come on, we need to get them out of there before one of Venus’s goons show up.”
“Yes, but did you really have to hit that old man when you took the car?” Michel asked. “You punched him square in the jaw."
“Hey, that was me!” Bishop cried. “And all I was doing was getting a phone number from that nice young lady.”
“Try it again and I’ll hit you so hard that you’ll end up in pervert palace,” Selene said. “Come on. Let’s get inside the orphanage.”
***
“It’s completely empty!” Michel exclaimed.
The dark gray walls of the orphanage were completely empty, a living room furnished with a crib, several high-chairs, a small square table in the center, not an adult nor orphan in sight.
“Maybe they’re just hiding in another room,” Selene said. “Come on, let’s go spread out.”
“I don’t think so,” a familiar sounding woman said.
The three assassins turned around, seeing an attractive, red-eyed brunette appear, dressed in a bright pink gown. “Venus!” they all yelled, quickly pulling out their guns and pointing it towards the leader of the White Mask Society, the group they once worked for, but now spent their lives running from.
“Give me one reason not to kill you now, Venus,” Michel said.
“Don’t kid yourself,” Venus responded, not once contemplating to grab her own weapon. “You don’t have the balls, Michel. Plus, if you kill me, you’ll never find that Kyle kid.”
“Where is he?” Selene asked, her black pistol trembling in her palms as sweat began to pour down her pale forehead. “What did you do with him?”
“I did nothing with him. He was…stolen.”
“Stolen?” Michel said. “Ha! You expect us to believe that?”
“You may not believe me, but I have some standards,” Venus rebutted. “I would never want to kill a sweet, innocent little kid. Shooting up an orphanage. What kind of evil sicko do you take me for?”
“Of course you wouldn’t kill a kid,” Bishop said. “You’d send Cytops or someone else to do your dirty work for you. Always has been your way.”
“Tell us where he is or I’m going to murder you right now,” Selene said. “You may not think Michel has the guts to do it, but I swear to God, I’ll put a bullet in your goddamn head right now! Where is the six-year-old boy?”
Venus cocked her head to the left and giggled. “But if I tell you, you’ll have no reason to keep me alive,” she said. “But if I leave you guessing…I get to live.”
“You were a fool to show up in person,” Bishop said. “By yourself, no less!”
“Am I? Am I really by myself? Why don’t you ask yourself that question.”
“Oh for God’s sake, for once in your life, you promiscuous little she-devil! Tell the truth!” Bishop yelled. “We’re talking about a child! Not old, saggy murderers like me! An innocent child! Where is he? Tell us now!”
“And why should I?” Venus said. “Why should I tell you anything? I never got the whole deal about you, Bishop. Old Ironman. Hmph.”
“Guess I’ll just go ahead and tell them then,” Another familiar voice said.
A buff, tan mohawked man appeared, walking into the orphanage behind Venus, a large assault rifle over his shoulders.
“Cytops!” The trio of assassins shouted in unison.
“The one and only,” The skilled assassin said, flexing his massive biceps. “And look who it is. My cute little pumpkin pie, Selene. Sure was nice of you to bring the kiddy gun to the orphanage. Wouldn’t want the little kids to get hurt.”
“Oh, shut up!” Selene yelled. “Just tell me where the kid is!”
“Someone…got to him first,” Cytops said. “Pirates.”
“Pirates. Pirates got to him first,” Michel said. “Surely, you must be joking, no?”
“I sent Cytops to kill the little runt, but we were intercepted,” Venus said. “Turns out there was quite a bounty on the brat’s name. The rest of the orphans and caretakers fled, but they got Vile, or Mile or whatever his name was.”
“What would they want with him, though?” Selene said.
“Who knows?” Cytop said with a shrug. “But hey, we hate you three, and you two hate us, but we’re all assassins right? We don’t need to be bested by some rum slugging, sword slashing drunks. Why don’t we call a truce for the time being and get the little badger back.”
“Don’t think we’re going to be all buddy buddy,” Bishop said. “After that stunt you pulled at the hospital, you’re lucky I don’t kill you right here, right now!”
Cytops laughed, shrugging his shoulders once again. “Oh, you didn’t enjoy my little visit to the medical center?”
“Four hundred people!” Bishop yelled, his veins popping out of his wrinkly, sweaty forehead. “Sick people! Women! Children! There were sick children in that hospital, and you blew them all up to bite-sized bits!”
Venus’s red eyes glow as she let out a loud cackle. “But did you see the faces of their relatives on the news? Priceless! Come on, how can you not find it so much fun to see them cry! It’s been so long since I killed someone myself. Ooh, I’m getting that itch again.”
“We don’t need help
from you two,” Selene said, beginning to storm towards the entrance to the
orphanage. “Let’s get out of here.”
“We haven’t seen the last of
you two,” Bishop said. “I assure you, the next time we meet, blood will be
spilt.”
“Looking forward to it,” Cytops cackled, allowing the three assassins to leave the orphanage unharmed. “But keep my offer on your minds. We all work in the same industry, remember that.”
To be continued...
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Hello fellow earthling, I am here to review your short story. I thought you had some great ideas for the story and I love the plot so far. One thing that kind of bugs me is when you wrote "What kind of evil sicko do you take me for?". The word "sicko" doesn't seem to flow very well to me, perhaps "psycho" or "sadist" would sound better. The only thing I dislike is the lack of background information, since the story starts in the middle of the action. If you were to make this a complete story, and include more information in the beginning, then it would be a great read!
thanks friend, and welcome to YWS. This starts in the middle of the action because it is a continuing saga, the first three parts are on the right of the page ^^
Then I will definitely go and read them. Thanks for letting me know!
Hi tigeraye, Felistia here with a review.
Firstly, this is a big improvement compered to the last part of the story I read. You explained where the characters were from the start, which made it a lot easer for me to picture were they are. The dialogue is excellent as it was in the last chapter and really drew me in. I like how you made the chapter short so that it is easier to review.
Now for the nit picks. I still think there is a little bit more room for descriptions in my opinion. There is this one sentence you wrote that instantly caught my attention (Where is the six-year-old boy?) It feels a bit more like you put it there to tell my the kid is a boy and six years old, more than the character wanted to say it. It just doesn't feel right. It would be better if you found a different way to do it and you don't even have to do it at this point. It feels like irrelevant information.
Other than that though you did a really good job and I will follow the story and keep reviewing if you like. Please carry on posting and have a great day\night.
thanks friend.
just wanted to upload this part to see if there's any interest in the story, or if I should just drop it and start putting my efforts into a different series ^^