Heartbeat Academy: Chapter 37 [1/2]

37.

All I wanted was to close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs. But I couldn't even do that. I wanted to cry enough tears that Bailey’s desert room would become an ocean, and maybe when I started to drown, she would soon come and rescue me. But I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t even make a sound. I moved my lips but no noise came out. I clutched my chest but I couldn’t even feel my own heartbeat. I tried to take in air, but I didn’t even know if I was still breathing.

Still. Mr. Tyler stood there, just standing there with that damnable stare, that blank, empty stare. I knew he wanted to cry, just by looking at him. But I guess he was too insecure to shed tears in front of me. Even at the darkest of times, he was still too hung up on appearing adult-like to show me how he really felt. It’s unbelievable.

“They found her body in the library last night,” he said in an uneasily calm tone, his voice hoary and scratchy, a rosy pink tint surrounding his unstable eyes. “We’re all going home. I already called your mom. She’s on her way to pick you up.”

After that, everything got all dizzy, and a little bit foggy. I might have passed out, but I'm not sure.

After Mr. Tyler told me what had happened, the next thing I can remember is waking up on Mom's bed back at home, still wondering why things had to happen this way. Maybe there was a way that Bailey wasn't dead after all. Maybe there was a way that it was all just a misunderstanding, and she was perfectly fine.

"Come on, Toby,” my little sister Annie said in a sympathetic voice, her hands cuffed nervously behind her back. “It’s New Year’s Eve. You don’t want to do anything?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to do anything,” I explained. “I want to. I really want to. But I can’t. It hurts too much. I was right there. She has to still be alive.”

“Well, you know, Bailey is in Heaven now, right?” she said. “So that means, she’s better off.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better!” I cried, my exclamation causing Annie to jump back, startled, as tears flickered out of nowhere from my eyes. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to yell—”

“No, it’s okay. My fault,” Annie said. “You deserve some time alone.”

She finally left the room, leaving me to fall back asleep, dreaming that I checked on Bailey that night, and that she told me what she planned to do. And I stopped her. And we both felt so happy.

I woke up when the door opened again. “Sweetie, it’s me,” Mom said, stepping closer to the bed as I sat upright. “How are you feeling?"

After I couldn't come up with an answer, she rubbed her hands across her face and sighed. “Do you want to talk about school yet?”

“I’m going back to the Heartbeat Academy,” I declared. “I have too many questions that I need answers to. That’s the only place I’m going to get them.”

She coughed into a balled up fist and cleared her throat. “Well, we might not actually have to send you back there,” she said.

I let out a quiet gasp, butterflies scurrying throughout my stomach. “You got a card in the mail,” I said. “The one who did it.”

Mom flinched backwards in surprise. “How did you—”

I pointed to my backpack sitting against the wall across from the bed. “I got one, too.”

The doorbell rang. “I’ve got it,” Mom exclaimed, darting out of the bedroom.

I shut my eyes in an effort to get some more sleep, before she returned and poked her head through the door. “Sweetie, you in the mood for a visitor?”

I hesitantly nodded my head. “I guess so,” I said with a sigh. “It doesn’t seem like I’m going to be left alone today...”

She popped her head back out. The man who walked into the room next made my skin crawl out.

“What the hell do you want,” I sneered.

Headmaster Barnes. He adjusted his red tie, his bald head shining menacingly as he stepped closer to the bed. “I, err, I wanted to give you my condolences for your loss,” he said. “In person. It’s…come to my understanding how close you were with Mrs. Kowala. I want you to know that I am very, very, sorry.”

“No you aren’t,” I chuckled. “You don’t care either way.”

His mouth opened slightly, taken back a bit, but he pretended to play with his tie in order to regain his composure. “I care immensely about the children at my academy,” he lied. “What makes you even think to say that—”

“You’re such a liar,” I said. “You don’t care about what happens to any of us. Why isn’t Eric learning how to walk? Why did Melissa almost die of anorexia last October? Why can’t Chelsea leave the dorm without having a goddamn anxiety attack? We don’t even have a counselor at the academy, but you expect me to believe that you care. You can go screw yourself.”

“Toby!” Mom said, scrambling back in the room with fear and shock in her eyes. “Is that how I taught you how to act around grownups? I really don’t think so.”

"He didn't even want me to go the school!" I said. "Dr. Sembagh told me! He didn't even want me there! I bet he's only here to convince me to stay home."

“I think you need to teach your son some manners,” Headmaster Barnes said. “Studies have always shown that the attitude of a child is a reflection on the parenting of the adult.”

“What? Shut up and get out my house,” Mom scoffed. “You can say what you want about me and my parenting. But my kids are alive. I can’t say that about all of yours.”

Headmaster Barnes cleared his throat and exhaled tranquilly. “Very well. I am intelligent enough to know not to stay where I am not welcome. Hopefully, Toby, you come to your senses and don't begin meddling in affairs that you scarecly understand. Goodbye.”

He started out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I looked up, and Mom had my backpack in her hands. “It’s time to get this over with,” she sighed.

Mom grabbed her envelope from under her bed, as I took my envelope out of my backpack. The two of us sat beside each other on top of the bed, both our hearts pounding as we stared ominously at the identical greeting cards.

The one who did it, the identical cards both read on the outside.

We shifted our gaze over to each other, then back at the cards. Now realizing just how heavily I was sweating, I pulled the card open. My heart pounding, my throat clenched and my stomach churning like a ship in the ocean, I read the name penned inside.

Otis Tyler