Young Writers Society

This was a great story! I loved how you used a simple conversation between a grandmother and grandson to convey a greater narrative - the importance of understanding and preserving one's own roots. The wholesome moment shared between them made it seem almost like a fairytale narrated during bedtime and I liked how naturally it flowed - almost like a lesson imparted by the wise and experienced to someone young who still has still much to learn. I also liked the juxtaposition of the title calling it a 'doomed land' and the narrator interpreting its meaning to be hope!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Tonight is one of those Aurora nights, northern lights visible all around the night sky. Grandma was telling me stories, I interrupted her as usual and asked her about the name of our land and the meaning. She said the name of our land is the only thing that have been saved and not changed during all these thousands of difficult years, the libraries and the history of the land is vanished completely. but Spes is still there. She said there were loyal anonymous soldiers that kept the name with their life, no one knows how many.

Grandma: The important things change my love, you should always look for the most important thing in each time and situation. During history in each part of it people found their most important and fight for it. it has been different things sometimes freedom, sometimes equity, peace, love.

Me: But I can't understand these words how can they have such high importance?

Grandma: Remember the last seconds of your grandfather where you hold your tears and kept smiling to him that is love. Sometime just a simple smile can be warrior of love. Just one second of more listening is a warrior of peace. Who knows... the name of our land is a sign of existence of important things that we should just look for it to find it, does not matter how small they can be.

By the way I have a guess for the meaning, it can be hope ...

hello!
Hi there, you can call me Green and I'm here to review your lovely story! I'll separate my review into different sections to make it easier to understand my feedback!

the message
In this charming short story, you explore the significance of a land's name and its meaning through a conversation between a grandmother and her grandchild. The story takes place on a night where the northern lights are visible, providing a magical and mysterious atmosphere. The message of seems to be that the significance of a name, or any important thing, may not always be immediately apparent, but its value can be found through a deeper understanding and appreciation of its history and the small, yet meaningful actions of those who preserve it.
I thought this was a really nice message that worked really well coming from a wise grandmother character.

literary analysis

In the story, you effectively used the imagery of the northern lights to create a magical and enchanting atmosphere, which contrasts with the somewhat serious topic of the discussion. The use of the grandmother's storytelling and the grandchild's curiosity and questioning provide a natural way to introduce the themes and messages of the story. The grandmother is portrayed as wise and patient, while the grandchild's character is curious and eager to learn. This contrast highlights the generational difference in perspectives and provides a dynamic and engaging conversation between the two characters. Overall, the story presents an important message about the value of preserving and understanding the history and significance of important things.

grammatical stuff

Grandma was telling me stories, I interrupted her as usual and asked her about the name of our land and the meaning.

I interrupted her

She said the name of our land is the only thing that have been saved and not changed during all these thousands of difficult years

During history in each part of it people

Remember the last seconds of your grandfather where you hold your tears and kept smiling to him that is love.