If these four-year-old, blue paint chipping walls could talk, they would talk about how your arm and my shoulder were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly together, relaxing into each other, melding into one another
they would recite poems out of the words that left your coffee stained lips and the way your fingers always found themselves twirling the loose strands of my hair
they would tell stories about that time we fought over where to put the white shade lamp and the time we didn’t speak to each other for a week
they would talk about the way my eyes would melt and my lips curve at the corners as I watched lose yourself in a book
they would say I was right, they would have looked better dressed in a light grey, but like me, they don’t mind what they look like, as long as you were living there with them
they would hum the songs the radio would sing on the counter of our dimly lit kitchen as we swayed with our hips attached and my ear so close to your heart I could almost hear the sound of the blood moving through your veins
they would laugh at the way we would giggle our way through stories of our day, only pausing to drink tea that was too milky
but these dusty, ink stained walls, cracking at every corner, can’t talk, and after four years of trying, there’s nothing left to be said;
but maybe a new fresh coat of paint is as much as one can say
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
I really like the formatting you used, and something about the way the last line ends without a period is just perfect.
Beautiful.
thank you!!
This was entertaining. I feel like walls talking would be creepy to be honest, especially if they were saying all that like they were voyeurs inhumanly watching for four years, but it also seems like some poet is just trying to get the walls repainted by appealing to sentiment, which is funny. I mean, most of the description of the walls is how old and worn-down and in need of repainting the walls are. The spouse will probably just respond like "OK, stop reciting poetry and get painting then!" That can be the sequel.
Hahahah yes, in fact this entire poem was a conversation
Hello, Steggy here for a quick review!
I really like the messages you provided in this poem, along with the images. The first thought I get when I first read this over was something along the lines of memories sketched into a wall. Like, you personify a unusual thing and make it into something creative. Like alliyah said below me, I too don't enjoy longer line poems because it is harder to find the actual poetry meaning behind it unless you read between the lines.
I also like the repetition about what they would say if they did speak. It gives that certain mood to the poem as a whole and even towards the end, I could see some form of loneliness of the walls (I'm thinking the walls could be the narrator but I'm not sure. Like all the words she wanted to say, she couldn't until the relationship was over).
Your description is also very nice as that too adds towards the mood of the poem.
I think this stanza is a bit lengthy but that's okay. It could be the ending of it as it doesn't feel completed.
Other than that, this was a lovely poem.
If you have any questions, let me know!
Steggy
Hii Steggy thanks for the review, you're right, that stanza does sound a little unpolished and long, I wanted to fit as much of the characters' relationship into that line as I could, but it turned out kind of messy haha, I'll try to fix it!
I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem!! Thanks again
first of all, wow. I am not very good at poetry myself, but you are amazing. I think if you could write professionally you wouldn't be disappointed with the results. Have you every herd of poetry books? You could definitely wrote one! I'm following for more. . . there better be more, just kidding take your time. Keep creating master pieces!
ahh!! thank you so so much! <3
THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE READ IN MONTHS.
You really are a talented sloth (love that name <3)
I love how beautifully you have written this poem!
Your writing inspires me, I wish I could write like you.
Looking forward to more of these!! All the best!
You are going to go far!!
love u raja
This made me tear up
this is amazing. Keep it up 
oh my!! thank you so much
Hey there, just stopping by to leave a few thoughts. I really did like this piece.
Generally I'm not a fan of poems that have longer lines like this, but somehow you managed to have long lines and still achieve good flow in the piece. It didn't feel bulky to read at all.
I think you take kind of a used metaphor "talking walls" and really make it your own, you give a story through imagery and narrative.
I really loved the second to last stanza: "but these dusty, ink stained walls, cracking at every corner, can’t talk, and after four years of trying, there’s nothing left to be said;" I think this is effective imagery while ending in some interesting deeper meaning. Most of the stanzas felt like miniature vignettes that might have cute little stories behind them.
The one stanza I felt didn't have as much narrative pull was this one: "they would say I was right, they would have looked better dressed in a light grey, but like me, they don’t mind what they look like, as long as you were living there with them" there I just got lost a bit on what the significance was so I would add a bit of clarity to that stanza.
I think the choice to use minimal punctuation worked and I didn't really see any spelling issues so good job proofreading.
Best of luck in the rest of your writing!
~alliyah
Thank you!!
lovely.
Thanks!