are you aware of my existence (or is it all just a dream)

Hey, there! I'm Alex, here for a review. I remember you being confused for how to get into poetry and I lent you some tips. But this is too good, I don't think you needed them in the first place! I wouldn't have guessed that this was your first poem, if you didn't tell me. Anyways, I wished to help you in your journey and what better way to do it than with a review, highlighting all that I loved and what I believe could use a little more work? Without further ado, let's get started.

Kicking off, excellent hook. It pulls at the reader's curiousity instantly. Personally, I assumed it would lead down a path of self discovery and existential struggles. But the romantic narrative was certainly a nice surprise! It's got drama, longing and the tension in the air- a receipe for greatness.

The first stanza did a well enough job depicting the whirlwind that accompanies first love. The mind is hazy while the heart is throbbing.

betrays me when it expands

This line in particular appealed to me. It is a very unique way of saying things, like I couldn't have ever come up with it. Typically, I'd use the word 'palpitates' or 'fastens' or 'pounds'. The use of word 'expands' is rather unconventional, but that's what makes it special and precisely your own style.

threatening to break free
to surrender itself to him
to lay raw and unfiltered

This part was so crude and unfiltered. The intensity of the soaring emotions is not toned down to be made gentle. Instead, they're flaunted in their difficult honesty and realism. Colour me impressed.

The second stanza has got to my favourite. It's painted in such a naturalistic yet, while delivering the surreal metaphors at the same time. It perfectly illustrates the heat of the moment taking place in the scene.

but it simmers beneath the surface

A great choice of words, once again. It's so creative to imagine the human heart to simmer, immensely creative.

his hands trailing down my arms

In my purely unprofessional opinion, this sounded a little wierd. As a reader I can't properly envision it in the charming way I'm sure you intended. I think I would have responded better to something like- 'his thumb brushing against my cheek'. But i believe this is merely a personal preference, your phrasing has nothing wrong objectively.

sunset casting shadows that don’t touch his face

Love the detailing here. While it may seem insignificant at first glance, it aids the reader's imagination and helps create a sense of familiarity.

my eyes screwed shut
puffs of breath in between

This section looked very genuine. The protagonist hasn't experienced intimacy before, so their hesitation and anxiety is well placed. The closed eyes are an excellent symbol of the fear that comes with naivity towards something.

The third stanza, I believe, could have used a little more impact. It's filled with action but barely misses the mark due to some technical aspects that could have used some improvement.

fingers tracing the clip that holds the waves in place

Personally, I think this line didn't belong. The gesture is unnecessary, has no purpose and doesn't contribute to the romantic development either. I feel like something else could have worked much better- perhaps something zooming in on some other act. An idea- 'While his arms on my waist pull me closer'

my fingers clutching his shirt as I am encompassed in his daze

This line could easily be split into two, so as to tidy up the overall length structure. my fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt/as I am encompassed in his daze. Also I think you meant 'gaze' instead of 'daze', might be a random typing mistake, you should look over once.

his breath on my neck
his lips near my ear
on my mouth

Now, this is tricky. A lot is happening, sadly it's not sternly directed. The 'what' is mentioned but the 'how' is gravely missing. A proposition as to how you may go on to rewrite it-
'His heaving breath against my neck / His breath heavy against my neck
His teeth nibbling my ears / His lips grazing past my ears
His kiss hot on my mouth
Remember, there's a very fine line between classic and cliche.

god, don’t stop-

This line captures the desire splendidly. Effortless yet ardent.

The last stanza does a commendable job of wrapping things up. 'All good things must come to an end'- it is a perfect example to it. The transient nature of the passionate encounter was an undeniable hint to its fate of not lasting, yet the reader isn't prepared to let the passion fade away from the narrative. Now that we've got the taste of the chemistry between the protagonist and their love, we want more of it and for it to last.

lost in his current
but it ends;
are my imagination
wanting
and it’s gone

A small suggestion, you can enhance the impact by adding some words in the line such as-
'Drifting erratically, lost in his current'
'But it ends, as is inevitable' / 'But it ends, as it must' / 'But it ends, as I knew it would'
'are nothing but my imagination'
'wanting something more'
'and just like that, it’s gone'

but shake my being

I think 'that' works better than 'but' here as the lines don't contradict, but interconnect and feed each other.

but I pass by him

Again, just some personal advice. I think switching the positions of by and him adds a poetic feeling to the line- 'But I pass him by'

never meet his eyes across the hallway

Hmm, this sounds a bit iffy. Consider once if this sounds more fitting-
'Not to meet his eyes ever again
As we did, across the hallway'

or acknowledge the sharp twisted painful pang
in my chest were my heart should have been

A comma after chest seems missing but otherwise, fantastic closing lines. What started with a fluttering heart ends with a broken and missing one- how very shattering. It's like a circle, ending up where you started from, yet nothing's the same. Now, you've been touched with love, an experience that'll stay with as a memory forever.

Overall, this poem was an engaging ride, taking us on a journey of young love. The beginning makes you anxious, while the ending tears you up. The heat of the moment gets to the reader across the screen, but after it the world is as if hollow. This poetry seemed an ugly reflection of a very real romance, with all its struggles and brief timeline. It isn't polished around the corners- there's an undeniable raw elegance to it. It's truthful to the core, as if confessing something buried in one's soul. It doesn't feel staged to make it more beautiful, and that's what makes it distinguishable. While the small details and technical structuring could use a little work, your poem has a way of seizing the reader's mind with it's crisp honesty and enthralling romance. A gentle suggestion to capitalise the first letter of the first word in each line. Also, all the ideas I've rendered herein are purely personal opinions, not compulsorily better than what you've written. I encourage you to hold onto what makes your writing style exceptional. Take only those advices which you feel allow your ideas to be presented in a better way. The poem is astounding as it is, you don't have to change a thing if you think it compromises your vision for this poetry. At the end of the day, it's your work alone and you're well within your right to stand by your poetic choices, regardless of other's opinions. Just stay true to yourself! This was a very pleasant read, it was my honour to review it. I hope this helped, hope to read more from you soon.