Young Writers Society

I really like the ideas and themes behind this poem and how they discuss how the higher you get on your metaphorical "throne", the more you must be willing to sacrifice to earn your place. I also like how the person within their room is contemplating their choices in life and how there are different places of the monarchy in society and in life. But there are some criticisms I have for this poem. I feel like this poem doesn't really have a flow to it but more of someone just talking to themselves, unless this a free verse poem where you don't really have to have too much of a flow or follow rules this poem feels broken. Also, I think you should try to experiment with more unique and less-used words to make your poem sound more powerful, emotional, mature, and overall more well-written. I recommend to go back and edit this since when I did that with a writing piece I had a few months back recently I ended up greatly improving it and making it much higher quality.

Wesh! So this is an OK poem. The flow is a bit off and your word choice could be better. I think you over-use phrases but I like your stye. Your writing though, it feels cramped, like you're trying to fit too much into a paragraph. I used to be like that. I feel you ask too many questions in it, but I see why. OVERALL: This was great so keep up the good work. Those were just my personal style suggestions.

-Jade

Hi, I'm here to review this piece of work to the best of my ability. I have to say that it is a very interesting and a rare format of poetry that I don't seem much on here. It is very good and the imagery is beyond amazing. Every stanza flows into the other just like the lines do forming an amazing poem. The overall message/ meaning is easy and clear to recieve and understand. Interpreting this poem can be different for all different people but it is one that everyone can take and connect to themselves in a way. SO you mention the name Arthur Pendragon. I'm guessing your are reffering to the king Arthur Pendragon of Camelot from Merlin and also the Seven Deadly sins. I love that character so much and I could see how that relates to him. I over all love this poem and think that it is so unique and special. Thanks for writing and I hope to see more work from you soon.

Hi there teamwsmf, Morri here to review your poem.

Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.

Let's start with the beginning. Everything you say in the first stanza can be summarized into one line. The lines fold over on themselves, and it really makes for an uninteresting start. I'm also not a big fan of the fact that you chose to have a canvas as a symbol here, when the rest of your symbols are based on thrones. Honestly, this poem would move along better if you did away with the first stanza and dove straight into the thrones. There's no need for us to know the narrator is in a void. We can assume that it's all a metaphor because of how you describe the thrones. Have a little faith in the reader. We can infer what you're talking about.

This second mini-stanza can be replaced with

Three seats rise from the ground.

The leather is finely upholstered, and stuffed with cotton to comfort whoever sits upon it.

Next, I see a Throne of Silver and Oak.
The oaken wood makes up the majority of the Throne, embossed with images of lives that should have been.
The silver is pressed into the arms of the Throne, giving the impression of nobility without anyone noticing what lies underneath.
This is the Throne of Ambition and Loss.

I see a Throne of Silver and Oak.
The wood supports the Throne, embossed with lives unlived.
Silver shines from the arms of the Throne, indicating nobility, but hiding the truth.
This is the Throne of Ambition and Loss.

My name begins to flow into my mind.
Arthur Pendragon. I suppose this name will do.

Hello im demoncat here reviewing.

I really love the point of these thrones. and the way you described them is fantastic. You really he
Ave a way with words I must say. But I must wonder.... Is that part at the end a quote twards a different story or something?? I just rlly happen to like it. Like his name sounds really familiar for some odd reason. Like I really love the whole poem in general. But i can't help.but think of his name. And I really can't remember where the name it reminds me of is from. But yep I love this soooo much.

Nice job. Your vocabulary is outstanding and the scenery is just really cool. There’s one part though I’m sure is not that of a big deal but like in 5th line, I think ‘grey’s’ is supposed to not have an apostrophe, but if there is then no worry.

Just a question though, what made you want to write this?

Anyway that’s all from me. This work is just really good, and I hope to see more work from you soon.

Peace out!