Published July 15, 2010
Don't know,don't care,don't count on me
A phrase I hear everyday
I guess it's so easy to say
Don't know,don't care,don't count on me
Don't know.don't care,don't count on me
It's easy as a pie for everyone
It's hard to deny I'm the only one
who seems to be no good at pie
Don't know,don't care,don't count on me
A chicken can lay
While it's starting to say
Don't know,don't care,don't count on me
Don't know,don't care,don't count on me
It's easy as a pie for everyone
It's hard to deny I'm the only one
Who seems to be no good at pie
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140,866 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
Hey tamtam97!
I'm hanorah and ill be reviewing your poem!
Wow, I really do love this poem, as I get really annoyed when people say this to me, I even say 'don't know' quite a lot when I'm not bothered to answer properly...
Ok..the punctuation isn't continuous...look over the poem and add in more, because it doesent look right without it!
Maybe it's just me..but I found all the extra spacing between the stanzas annoying somehow.
The third stanza...I didn't get it, could you explain it for me?
Overall, great poem! Well done!
~keep writing
I kind of love this poem. I love the theme of the poem; I've always hated it when people say stuff like that. I understand your frustration, when you care about something and no one else seems to even notice.
I don't understand the chicken reference. If you could change that or clarify it, I'd love this poem a whole lot more.
I might consider making it a little longer since I feel it's a subject that could be elaborated on a bit more. Also, there are some spaces missing and I might do a quick read-through to make sure all the punctuation's consistent (it isn't, which was a bit distracting to grammar nazis like me.)
I'm glad to say that this poem actually reads like a poem. A lot of times I'll read poems with extra syllables scrunched in here or a missing one there, but this poem does a good job of feeling natural and right and I applaud you for that.
Good job on the title too.
Hope this review helped,
tgirly
Hey there tamtam,
When writing a poem or lyrics, you don't need to rhyme the lines. Getting rhyming right is extremely tricky, and something that not even the best poets ever really master. Rather, concentrate instead on the beat and rhythm of the lines; that is, how many syllables are there per line?
Also, make sure that the poem makes sense. As fiction903 pointed out, you have some lines that do not fit.
In any case, I hope you keep writing.
I think that these lyrics could use some major revisions.
I would not use this. What does I'm the only one who seems no good at pie mean? Why is this in here? I would not use this either. I think you need to come up with a better saying. Hopefully my review helps. Have a great day. Fiction