What should I do now?

What should I do now?

There are many who better then me to study.
I just want to clear all session with study steady.
First time in lifespan it scares me horribly.
Fearing of it now I never fear of it truly.
Want relief want to steady want concentrate,
But not be able to do it to check high leave rate.
Not first in lifespan where I confused myself,
What should I do now to overcome obstacles from book shelf?

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
CreativeFreak
Review

Hi. :)

Um, yeah. Like Elinor already said, the very beginning of this poem is confusing. It's like you're trying to hard to be poetic or deep? The key to poetry though is that you don't really try to make it anything. You just write what you feel and that's how you start.

Fearing of it now I never fear of it truly.

Are you afraid of studying? Uh, did you forget a comma?
- again with the next sentence.

*See, it's really hard to review something when you are utterly confused about what's even being said, or how it should be written/said.

I get the feeling that you are talking about solving some sort of problem. Correct if I'm wrong, but I really am having a hard time at this.
Figure out what or how you want to say. Please try and review/fix this!

Keep trying. PM me if you need any help. :)

User avatar
Elinor
Review
Elinor wrote a review · Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:27 am

Hi there!

Before I begin the review, I just have a quick note. You have six literary works posted and zero reviews. I'll review this you once, but please try to give other members critiques on their work. It'll make you ten times as likely to get reviews on your own. Also, it's just common courtesy.

To the poem. It was, to put it bluntly, very confusing. Half of your lines didn't really seem to make much sense to me. Take your first line, for example.

There are many who better then me to study.


This doesn't even sound correct, and I have no idea what you're trying to get at, either. "There are many people who are better then me to study"? What do you want to study? Be specific.

I just want to clear all session with study steady.


This next sentence also makes no sense. What "sessions" are you talking about? Does the narrator have after-school/work activities, but he'd rather study? I'm confused.

-
I really don't know what to tell you. The poem was very confusing all the way through and seemed just as though it was a bunch of random words strung together. If you can rewrite this poem so the message becomes clear, please do.

PM me if you have questions.
-Elinor



When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
— Alexander Den Heijer