Flushed
Fragments
There
is a thin crack in the paper thin wall,
it
curves above the open casket
and
spreads below the folded molding.
She
fixates on it,
like
it holds the key to her escape
from
the flimsy funeral home she sits in.
Her
family grieves around her,
their
frail hearts enduring a thousand paper cuts.
She
wants to stop the bleeding,
but
doesn’t know how
when
she’s barely surviving
her
own hemorrhaging soul.
She
then thinks back,
to
when her papa was sick,
when
her grandma suffered a heart attack,
when
Aunt Jeanie
developed a tumor,
and
when Cathy, her pregnant cousin, died too.
Tear
after tear runs down her delicate cheeks,
and
the tiny crack rips- longer, wider.
Soon,
she can jump through and forget this awful pain,
soon,
sooner- Wait,
Ellie,
Green
eyes meet hers,
Will
you say goodbye before you leave?
Now,
she needs to jump now,
before
the whole house disintegrates
under
teardrops of water, drips of bloody slashes.
She
will dissolve with it, unless she leaps-
She
turns to say farewell,
but
can’t bear to murmur her goodbye.
So
she simply flees, tearing away her grasp,
right
before the walls cave in.
They
cover the earth in a sheet of purest white.
She
remains blood red.
Wash
out
Porcelain
bare legs
stretch
off for miles and miles,
painted
pale toes touch their tips to the horizon.
Kaleidoscope
colors emanate from the sky,
violet,
crimson, yellow, and scarlett.
Eventually,
her porcelain arms give way
and
she tumbles into an ocean of grass
bordered
by a red rubber ring.
She
swivels her eyes around the curious ring,
but
loses the far right and left sides,
they
stretch out infinitely.
She
closes her eyes, tight, and wonders
if
there’s an end to this circle,
if
she could ever find it,
running
on frail legs
round
and round and round and round....
She
opens her eyes,
and
finds another pair looking down at her.
Their
green gaze glows,
a simmering stare of emerald incandescence.
She
marvels at the difference
between
their verdant color
and
the vibrant hues of the sky,
of
the stadium around them.
Senseless,
she giggles,
but
hears only hallow huffs of air,
noiseless,
voiceless.
She
wants to feel her mouth,
see
if it’s still attached.
Ellie,
the person rumbles.
The
name resonates through her,
crumpling
her resolve to stay senseless.
She
doesn’t like that,
doesn’t
want to confront her title, who she is.
She
squeezes her eyes shut
and
wishes to evaporate,
starting
with her blue water drop irises.
But,
upon her closed lids,
her
mind spills what she’s tried to avoid,
the
fear concealed in her weak legs,
the
shame in her presence at the track,
and
the unhappiness displayed by this person.
That
she
wasn’t enough.
When
the gun went off, when the race began,
when
one, then two, then all the contestants passed her,
she
wasn’t enough.
She
sensed her legs crack,
her
frail body turn to inflexible porcelain,
she
wasn’t enough.
Her
breath came in huffs and puffs of empty air,
and
she gave up before the finish line.
She
wasn’t enough.
She would never be enough.
She
would never find the end to this ring, the end to her failure.
Narcosis
Light
faintly flickers outside the window,
shatters
the darkness
into
night and day, day and night.
It’s
fading, faintly calling to her
a
small cry for help.
She
slowly draws away from her bed,
and
up to the chilled glass.
Outside,
a tall street lamp blinks.
She
suddenly remembers,
of
when she was younger, hopeful,
when
she gazed out this very window
and
wished to dance under that light.
But
then the curtain dropped down.
It
covered all signs
of
what shined right outside
waiting
for her to come every night.
Now
the light is about to cease,
meaning
she’s too late.
She
senses her strength start to fade
as
she slowly slides to the cold floor,
her
robe drifting off her shoulders.
A
shaky image enters her mind,
weary
wings peeking over her slumped form,
their
feathers gray and dusty from disuse.
Death
could take her without any fight.
It
could spirit away her whisper of existence
and
face no consequences.
She
is done. Finished. At the end.
She
feels it’s long overdue.
Goodbye...
But
then someone comes,
approaches
her empty body upon the floor,
and
gently rubs off the dust on her wings,
just
as she looks up.
And
meets green-
Verdant
pools of spring-time sprouts,
that
continue growing
even
as so much seems to stop.
Lost
in those emerald eyes, she realizes that...
Life
can not be ended.
Life
can never reach the end.
She
can not have found the end.
She
can never be at the end.
Ellie,
they whisper,
you are not finished...
When
a door closes,
when
a light dies out,
when
hope, purpose, and life seems to leave,
a
new one opens, lights, begins.
You
are still growing.
She
blinks, and the person disappears.
It’s
only then she realizes
that
the streetlight has at last
flickered
out.
But
she can see in the dark;
she
can find comfort
in
it's quiet presence.
Hello...
Illuminated
Laughter
twinkles past her ear,
shimmering
like a shooting star.
She
turns her head, surprised-
she
must have dozed off,
lost
in the past, when the future
giggles
in the room next to her.
She
stands up on strong sturdy legs,
thinks,
maybe
I should go for another run soon,
before
following the laughter
as
it continues to fill her head,
twirling
on spindrifts of shimmering joy.
She
rubs the back of her neck,
and
imagines magnificent wings
stretching
on either side of her back.
Her
heart
beats
with
tiny scabbed over scars,
but
still pumps,
still
retains light within her soul.
She
is free,
she
is alive,
she
is healing.
And
above all else
she
is happy.
Then
she opens the door,
turns
on the light,
and
feels verdant hope swell in her chest.
Ellie!
Her
young cousin sings her name,
giggles
and bubbles with newborn life.
Hello,
Catey Jean,
Ellie smiles.
Catey’s
green gaze sparkles
and
they laugh together,
the
sound ultrabright and everlasting.
Points: 21503
Reviews: 137
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