By his side (CHRISTmas poem)

@stinastobi,

A very lovely poem you've written there! I can tell that you had put plenty of effort into it. However, while I was reading, I saw a few things that caught my eye. Let's get right into it, shall we?
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1) Figurative Language
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This isn't really review material, but I did admire it, so decided to mention it. The figurative language was very good, and I definitely need to work on it, and incorporate it into my poetry. Thank you for the inspiration!

2) Sense
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To be honest, this poem would not make very much sense to someone who didn't know the whole story. You were even loosing me, someone who does. Maybe next time you could possibly add a bit more detail to the narrative element?

3) Punctuation
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I noticed while reading how many commas and periods you could've added to this story to make it sound a tad bit better. I won't give any examples because I have to be somewhere right now, but I will let you figure out on your own, seeing that as the easiest way to learn from your mistakes.

4) Description
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This caught my eye before even clicking on this poem; the begging. In the description I can't get the image out of my head of you on your knees saying "Pleeeeeeeaassse?" This is not something that you want someone to think of before you even click on your work.

5) The...Song?
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The song at the end did not make sense to me at all. Like, I am reading your poem, and all of a sudden I see a song, and that's the end. There is no conclusion to this literary piece, an I thing it would have made it way better than it already is.
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Overall, this is a very good poem. I didn't get to mention some things, like the "he'shere" thing, (I don't know what it's for, or why it's there, but ok..?) but like I said, I am in a rush. I can't wait to read and review more of your work in the future!
Merry Christmas an keep writing!

-@SuperOriginalName

I love this poem. It had a really great christmas theme. You could really feel the christmas spirit. The lines and words used were incredible. The only thing that just stuck out to me is how in the last stanza show me where Jesus lies was repeated twice. I would take out the first time it was written just so the last line would have more power. Other than that I really loved the poem and unique writing style. I hope to read and review more from you soon.

This poem overall is a great way to celebrate Christmas, though I believe this is a compilation of poems (correct me if I'm wrong) but there are some spelling mistakes that can be easily gone over.

I'm not sure if you wanted this part to be a quickly spoken "he's here" thing or not, but let's see.

He is here he's here he'sherehe'sherehe'shere!!

A lot of jumbled up wording here, quick fix, however.

Here's another thing that can possibly be incorrect.
our joy unfurls like flaming flowers to the Son.

I'm sure you meant "the Sun". Common mistake there, too.

Other than those small problems, I believe you're story can become an incredible one.

Keep shining! <3

Good work. But do you have to use asterisks in poetry?. I'm confused so I'm asking. I love the style so much.

Thought this was sweet, though I have to say the "twinkle twinkle" part at the end threw me a bit.

Nice hopeful poem with plenty of nice religious imagery and hymnody mixed in.

christmasy!