You Were A Winner To Me

by steward

Published July 6, 2016

In Phase 2

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In Kindergarten, you were everyone's favorite. I always seemed to loathe you, but I wish you would've known that it was just pure jealousy: I wanted nothing to be more like you. I tried to compete with you for friends, the teacher's attention, and even the girls; I thought I had a chance, but you'd always win.

In second grade, you were the biggest influence during one of the best times of my life: the Great Shanyll vs. Maxine War. I was the double agent because I thought it would make me seem cooler than you. All you wanted was Christine, so I'd always stick by her side because I loved the way that you felt jealous of me for once. The war ended in truce, but still feel like I lost and you won.

Even after I left the country, I brought a small piece of envy with me. Every time I did anything, I would always subconsciously compare myself with you. There was no fight or war going on, but I still felt like you were winning.

We barely knew each other these past few years, but you pushed me to keep striving to be the best and I haven't realized that until now. You were the best at everything you did. From the beginning, you were always a winner.

Why the hell did you let the rope win the fight that mattered the most?

Comments & reviews · 3
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Kazeybear
Review
Kazeybear wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2016

This actually brought tears to my eyes, because I've been through a similar situation, so thank you. This was stunning and heartfelt and heart-wrenching in all the right ways. I love how you describe the way in which the character idolized this person, and the victory he felt in even small things. It speaks so truly of all of us, at the end of the day. And that ending...

That line gave me goosebumps.

Why the hell did you let the rope win the fight that mattered the most?

That metaphor just sums everything up perfectly. This is quite honestly the best thing I've read in years. Keep it up, and thank you so, so, so much!

~Kazey

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EEP1998 Review
EEP1998 wrote a review Review · Jul 7, 2016

This is so touching because its a real case in many lives. it make you wonder about what is really going on and how people are being viewed by others. While this made us think highly of the character in the end it was a twist I couldn't see coming. Just amazingly written and a simple yet fulfilling message.

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Melmo Review
Melmo wrote a review Review · Jul 6, 2016

Dude... that was quite possibly one of the best twist endings I ever read, in all seriousness.
Oh right, hello! I saw that this one was pretty heartfelt yet short and simple, so I just had to review it.
At first I thought it was kind of a playful story, in some way. As kids often do throughout their school days, they envy someone else and almost come to idolize them in some sort of way, and I feel that you perfectly incorporated this into the story. It was relatable, which really helped me feel for this character.
I just... I really can't get over the ending. It was horribly amazing! Because we thought so highly of this character and he was being put on such a high pedestal by the narrator, that we did not at all expect it to all go down hill like it did. It just shows that people's lives are not always what they seem. It definitely added some depth and made the end that much more heartbreaking. You did really well, and I'm glad I read this. I'd love to read more stories like this, myself!
P.S. I also really envy how smooth your words were. It was very natural, which is something I tend to struggle with.
Grammar wise, I couldn't really find much, if anything at all. I just thought I should add that for a more legitimate review haha.



Y'know, sometimes a family is a mutant superhuman clown with cartoony powers, a hyperactive shapeshifter created in a lab, the ghost of an artificially created being who only exists for exposition, a cat who is an eldritch god for some reason, and an emo guy who doesn't canonically exist
— GengarIsBestBoy