A Girl

For an extremely short poem, it has great potential. In my opinion, I wish you would have given more imagery, and description. Tell us the pain that the girl felt. Also you could some vocabulary that maybe could make the mood more meaningful. This girl was once beautiful and now she broken. Words such as anguish or pain, or verbs such as ripped or destroyed could work. Were you trying to work with a rhyme scheme of ABCB, because the mood of this poem need to be more free form, since she is expressing her feeling of a broken heart. This is a good start for a great poem, but it need more editing, proofreading, and more emotion in order to be a great masterpiece of art.

this poem ( although if it is personal, please excuse me ) has a concept that's a little tricky to write about, since it's been done so many times it's become a cliché. one of the solutions to this is, of course, something that you have done already: making it short. here are the things you could do in addition to this ( please inform me if i become rude, i won't get angry if you do ):

- if you're working on something that starts out as a free verse and you want to make it into a certain identifiable type of poem, go back and edit accordingly. you slip into the ballad formatting ( ABAB ) without the A's, so to speak, and that lessens the emotional hit of the poem as well as possibly reminding the reader of one of those cringy love poems written by preteens who didn't know what they were doing.

- write as if you're making actual sentences within the poem.
"For a girl who once was so beautiful,
Had fallen apart,"
i think this is what bothered me quite a bit. try imagining it without that comma after "beautiful" and maybe even with a period after "apart". it would make the poem more symmetrical and grammatically correct ( or at least grammatically comforting to english nerds such as i )

- spice up the vocabulary. i cannot say this enough times to anyone who is writing about a concept like this. use your SAT words. "her amity was quieted", "for a girl who once was so prepossessing", etc., etc. use difficult words like your life depends on it.

all things aside, this poem has a lot of potential.

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
So, I realize this is going to have to be short, since this poem was so short, but I still have some things to say. First of all, this is a very pretty poem. It had a pretty good flow, and you seemed to get everything you wanted to say in there quickly and in a way that impacted the reader, which is what I think poets should strive for.
Now, although I admire your ability to get your message through so quickly, I still would love to see more in this poem! Your poem is so brief, it almost lacks the emotion that you are trying to get at. Since readers don't see that emotion, it can only seem like one of many other simple love poems. Add something more, some sort of personal touch, and I think it could really strengthen your poem.
Now, one the subject of personal touch, if you don't want to add to this poem, I suggest rethinking the formatting. One way to make this poem more unique would be to give this poem non-traditional formatting, which is a little hard to describe. It involves spacing out the words and lines to add pauses, which can help draw a reader in. I couldn't find any example online I liked, but I do suggest looking at @heath 's poem, which I forget the name of right now, but it is a wonderful example, it's been the spotlight for a few days now and may still be. I also use a lot of non-traditional formatting in my poems, so you can try to check those out, for more examples. (I'm kind of obsessed with non-traditional formatting, in case you couldn't tell.)
Anyways, good job with this short and sweet poem! I look forward to seeing what you so with this and what you do in future works!
herbgirl

This was fantabulously well thought out! Even though it is one of the shortest poems I've ever read it still communicates a lot. If you don't mind me asking...was this about you, a friend, a family member, etc.? You don't have to answer that if you prefer not to. I feel like this poem could describe me and my recent breakup. Keep writing and enjoy the rest of your day!