A collective bloom of existence and continuation
tainted by the material of humanity
Optimism rediscovered by reality
soon we are left with nothing but matter
happy or not, we exist even if nothing matters
Our reckless streak pushed our Mother to a withering state
Gasping for her last breaths, hoping so desperately
Soon we may find that we only live because of her
And that we simply cannot live without her
Bottles on beaches, glass and bleaches
colors devoid, roots are rotting
Soon the tree will fall, and so will the crows nested above
A cesspool of disease and decay forming in the contents of what it used to be
We, the crows
clever and opportunistic
Sucking every single sliver of life
From the place that once provided for us
little monsters floating about on a crippled, lifeless asteroid
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,328 Literary Works • 674,349 Reviews
'Ello there!
There's a lot of crow imagery, and I don't know if that is something that is a symbol relating to Mother Earth, or just what worked best in the poem. In a way, it's a little like it was stuffed in to be a bit of filler. There's beaches, roots, trees, and then crows. If this is about air pollution and how it's affecting birds, maybe reworking that would be better, because I am confused.
Another meaning I could get out of that is that it's a reference to people who destroy Earth. I mainly get this from "Sucking every single sliver of life," but that could also just be relating to how crows are omens of bad luck to some people. Although, in what I was told to believe, crows mean that you will transform into a better person and change will find you.
This imagery. Yessss, I love it!
Anyway, good job!
- Lum
Sorry for the late reply, been busy the past couple of days...
Thanks for the review! The crow imagery is sort of the idea that humans are like crows, abusing earth and it%u2019s resources, as well as it%u2019s limits for temporary gain without looking to the future and realizing that we, the crows, live on top of the tree. So, if we kill the tree, we are likely to die too.
Just about how certain people take resources from the earth without any regard for other life.
Thank you!
The author's love for nature and fear of her destruction narrated in a lovely way. Yes, we cannot live without her because we are part of her. As you have mentioned we are opportunistic and exploit our mother for temporary gains.
Yes, that was indeed the effect I intended; to display the fact that we all leech of earth for temporary gain, but will soon realize that the only reason we are living is due to earth's existence.
Thank you for the comment!
Ok. I noticed that you don't have any reviews. SO here i am. The lovely theo to review your poem. Its random i know but whatevs.
You poem hold the words hidden under our skin. "We, the crows
clever and opportunistic
Sucking every single sliver of life
From the place that once provided for us
little monsters floating about on a crippled, lifeless asteroid"
THis is literally the truth about us. (not being mean to anyone)
It takes a amazing person to be able to word this and be so true and Honestly this was amazing and i would read it again and again.
Thank you very much for the great review. I really appreciate any support I can get!
Wow! Amazing poem! I really liked it!
Thank you very much for taking a look!
thanks for reading <3