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Super Star Mystery

by sleuthchick

Lucky Lafeyette, Belle Soleil,, and Lucas Soleil get to see the theater in their town of Brulee, Louisiana be overrun with a bunch of young, eager, and hopefully very talented people. Thats right a reality tv show producer has picked the small island of Brulee as their location for the new season of Superstar.

But Lucky and at least one of her friends isn't to thrilled to have the theater which bears her families last name Lafeyette Hall to be exploited by showcasing the world's next singers.

"This is so exciting! Superstar is the biggest singing contest in the world, and they will be shooting the new season on our small town home." my bestfriend Belle Soleil said with a sparkle in her grey eyes.

As you can tell Belle is a huge fan of Superstar. A reality singing competition that looks for the next big singer. Also like my friend said Superstar is now going to film their new season here on Brulee at the theater that bears my famlies last name.

I love music as much as the next person, but they really need to stop with all the reality shows especially this one.

My other bestfriend and Belle's twin brother Lucas agrees with me. He was standing on my other side as we watched big strong men in t-shirts, and faded old jeans carry stuff in and out of Lafayette Hall. This building is how we can trace my families history.

In the eighteen hundreds, Jean Auguste Lafayette sailed here. His first night in town, he met and fell in love with a cajun belle. Maria Corrine Beaumont. After only two months of courtship the couple married. As a gift Jean Auguste built Lafayette Hall. He finished the manor in a year. Maria loved her new home. The couple moved in and began their life together. They had three children, Jean Auguste Lafayette the Second, Luc Rene, and Danielle Corrine.

Of course the story does not end here. Mystery fills the Hall. That is all I know about my families history, and about this beautiful old southern mansion. I would like to see the inside of the house but my parents won't let me.

"What mystery does this house have?" I asked aloud

I didn't realize I had spoken the words though.

This made Belle, and Lucas turn to me suddenly.

"People in town say the place is haunted." Lucas said

Belle scoffed at her twin brother. "That is what your friends say Lucas. Madame Sophie says something valuable is hidden in the house." she said matter of factly, like that is the only truth to the mystery behind the Hall.

Since I was in the middle of both of them, I said,"Maybe the house is haunted by ghosts protecting the valuable item."

Belle only shrugged and Lucas just said,"Yeah right Lucky."

He is cute when he says things like that. Then he smiles at me.

The three of us whipped our heads back to the house when someone screamed from inside.

My parents warning of staying away went out of my mind as I ran full speed toward the front door and into the entrance hall. The front entrance was still empty, but the hardwood floors had been polished. You could see your reflection clearly in it.

"Where did the scream come from?" Belle asked

"Let's listen."I said

After a second went by another bloodcurdling scream rang through the house. I looked up at the staircase.

"It came from upstairs." I said

My friends were behind me as I ran up the stairs. When we all reached the top another scream sounded from the right. Turning that direction we followed the scream all the way to the end of the hall.

We got the shock of our lives as we stared at the empty room. A large hole was in the floor two people were there. A beautiful woman as white as a ghost was leaning over another pale figure. It was a girl in her teens. She was trying to pull herself up from the hole she was dangling from. The woman cackled in the girl's ear then she stood up and laughed at the ceiling. I couldn't take anymore. Belle and Lucas yelled to me as I ran to help the girl. Before I could grab onto her hand she fell down, down and I fell down too until I hit the floor.

The screaming had stopped now, the strange woman and the girl were gone. It was just me laying on the floor facedown. I sat up on my knees and looked around the room. My friends were standing in the doorway, and the workers had formed a crowd behind them.

I stood up and brushed myself off.

"Belle, Lucas did you both see what I saw?" I asked

"I only saw the two women then they vanished, and then Lucky you ran in and fell." Belle answered

Lucas nodded his head in agreement.

One of the workers spoke up,"Uh you kids really do not need to be in here."

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117 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 117

Sat May 12, 2007 11:38 pm
oregongirl says...

hmm. interesting are you starting a story with it? I like the beginning though.

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2058 Reviews

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Reviews: 2058

Sat May 12, 2007 10:02 pm
Emerson wrote a review...

ummm...You know I'm really tempted to move this, but I won't.

You shouldn't post too little, this give the critic nothing to talk about, like this. Although I can say, you dropped names and did a whole lot of telling. In those two paragraphs, I would have already put the book back down because I've been told the problem before introduced to the characters and brought into the story in a way which makes me want to continue.

But still, this isn't really enough for someone to critique, try posting a full story or a fuller length than this one.

Mystic Cove [s]h[/s]as their location
has->as. Proof read before posting.

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3747 Reviews

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Reviews: 3747

Sat May 12, 2007 10:01 pm
Snoink says...

Hmmm... is this a storybook beginning?

Age was respected among his people, but achievement was revered. As the elders said, if a child washed his hands he could eat with kings.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart