Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Things to know: I might submit this to my school's student run humor newspaper. The writing style isn't the best, but that's not the point. What I need to know is, did it make you laugh? Also, for your better understanding, the boys bball team is notoriously bad, my school doesn't have a football team, and itslearning is where homework is assigned. Thanks for reading! :)
Stores have been selling decorations for two months, but you have procrastinated as much as you did on that history paper. Now, with Thanksgiving quickly approaching, your plans are worse than the boys' basketball team’s chances at the championships. Well, you can stop worrying now, because as usual, The Vorpal Sword has you covered. This time, with a realistic schedule of your five day break.
Day 1: You wake up at 1 in the afternoon. Why? Because you can. Spend all day doing absolutely nothing productive. If that means 4 hours looking at Hotline Bling memes, so be it. At all costs, you must erase the memory of school.
Day 2: Yes, the day has finally come. Depending on your family, this could mean paradise or your personal hell. Pumpkin pie, turkey, mashed potatoes. Or Aunt Helen’s stuffing that looks faker than Donald Trump’s hair. Oh, and there’s always that football game that you pretend to understand. C’mon guys, we all know you can’t tell a quarterback from a touchdown.
Day 3: Regrets. So many regrets.
Day 4: Check Instagram and Facebook and see your “friends” doing cool Thanksgiving-esque things. Ok, time for more sleeping and Netflix.
Day 5, 11:30 pm: Noooooooooo! You just checked itslearning and there’s a six page paper due first period tomorrow. Three hours, 5 gallons of coffee later, you finish something that bares no resemblance to a paper. But grades don’t define you, right?
Monday Morning: Question humanity.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi, I'm to give a 'review' of this piece.
There is not a lot to actually fix as it is a humor piece. It was a funny piece and I rather enjoyed it. Now here it is, nearly Christmas (uggg) and I am reviewing a piece about Thanksgiving!
So yes, it is the truth. The only advice I really want to give you on this piece is maybe clear up a few of your hours at least. I know that when I was on Thanksgiving break from college, this is all I really wanted to do. But no, I had to work unfortunately.
I liked the ideas you have, but one tip I would have gave you would have been to switch around Day 3 and Day 4. So many regrets after the two days, but it also works how you have it set up.
I am going to say, if you spell out the numbers you should do it throughout the piece. This way it looks more fluid.
Keep writing,
Tulip
You, my fellow writer, are a genius, and a humor master. I'm proud of myself. I can give grammar advice, however small it may be! I'll put the day and then my comments on it.
Day 1: Yup, definitely not productive.
Day 2: Donald Trump's hair. I started smiling like an idiot when I read that part. And even now I'm still confused on the whole touchdown bit.
Day 3: It's like when you pig out at McDonalds. Don't do it. Ever.
Day 4: Of course, the almighty Netflix!
Day 5: I can offer grammar advice! Well, really spelling, but close enough. Bears, not bares. But don't worry. You know how many times I've had trouble with that word? Yes, grades certainly don't define you. At least that's the best way to comfort yourself...
Monday Morning: Naturally.
You definitely should submit it! I liked this a lot, and I'm sure other people will too!
Just one question. Why is this rated 16+?