Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Damn me, damn me, damn me.
I could have protected her.
I sit crying amid the remnants of my home as rain pours through newly made holes in what's left of my ceiling. We loved bowling every Friday, and our personal bowling balls made two holes above me. I look up as lightning rips across the sky, becoming a spark of rage in my ceiling's sobbing eyes.
I could have protected her.
I try to calm myself down, trying every trick in the book, but nothing helps. Instead, my rage builds, and before I know it, I'm driving to the city. My old truck moves faster than I thought possible, mud flying in all directions as heavy rain slaps against my windshield.
...
The man in red sits on a medieval throne procured from a local museum, a naked woman on each knee, one holding a bottle, the other holding a cigar. His crew is delivering updates regarding their various assignments, but he barely listens as his mind is on the citizens he recently needed to deal with.
'Those do-gooders believed they knew what was best for the people of my city. So they'd been giving my people what they called support, even though everyone knows I supply what's needed to those who pledge their loyalty. Despite my generosity, that so-called charity even dared to take my people from me.'
Enough was enough when the man in red found out the charity was evacuating people from his city. While he never openly expressed that people couldn't leave, those he did catch leaving were tortured, raped or both before being returned to the city. Safe to say, after a few people were made an example of, any desires to flee were forgotten.
Just to be safe, the problem was stopped at the source, as the man in red personally saw to it that his men slowly tortured the members of the charity inside their office before finally gifting them with a fiery end.
All besides one exceptionally ravishing item. The man in red had some fun with her, then decided to keep her caged in his home for future entertainment. She was the sort of treat you couldn't just have once. The rest of the bodies and their headquarters were incinerated, sending a clear message to any other wannabe heroes.
...
I secrete madness, my quaking hands almost pulling me off the narrow road several times. After an eternity, I finally arrive on the city's outskirts, where the building my love travelled to used to stand. Now there are only ashes and debris. I dig through the remnants. I find human remains, but it's impossible to distinguish one person from another.
My love is buried in this mess, and I can't even tell which corpse is hers.
I know who is responsible
Nothing will stop me.
I'm not a hunter, but a wise man keeps some guns on hand, as living in this wild world is always a cause for concern. So I purchased a few guns to protect my love if our home was attacked. In addition to the weapons, I devised a series of plans which we drilled a few times to prepare for the worst.
I was prepared to defend our home but too damn lazy to get off my ass to escort my love on a simple delivery. A movie in exchange for my angel. Damn me.
...
The man in red, now only in a red t-shirt, sits up in a massive bed, pushing two women off him as he does. Staring at a frightened soldier who burst into his room, he shouts, "What is it!"
"An intruder is approaching despite our best efforts. He's killed several of our men, and none of our defences are slowing him down. I'm urging you to evacuate until we get the situation under control."
"That's funny. I thought I was the one in charge around here. I won't be going anywhere. Fetch me my weapons. I want to greet our fearless guest."
...
"Where are you?" I roar as I wring the neck of a soldier. Another pops out from behind a pillar and fires at me, so I charge him, and he shares the same fate as my previous victim. Soldier after soldier falls to my wrath. The gun across my back remains unused, as I feel particularly inclined to use a more hands-on approach. As I drop the soldier to the ground beside me, I scan the room. It's decked out with more luxury than I've ever seen.
Golden sculptures surround a magnificent dove-shaped crystal fountain in the center of the room. An enormous jewel-studded door stands beyond the fountain.
That looks like a room a piece of shit would hide in. Finally finding a good use for my weapon, I pull it from my back and fire at the fountain. Watching it shredded by my bullets, its millions of pieces crashing to the ground is a far more incredible sight than the masterpiece exhibited when intact. My shots slice through the crumbling structure and into the once-priceless door. As I approach, I unload the rest of my clip, drop my weapon and kick the door in.
...
The man in red lifts a rocket launcher to the ready as bullets ring off the door before him.
'Time for some fun,' the man in red thinks excitedly. He turns and surveys his ten elite soldiers, all at a safe distance from the door with their weapons drawn. The room is silent. The only disturbance is a loud thud against the marble floor on the opposite side of the door.
Then, the door crashes open.
...
I've seen Victor's face on the news, which constantly runs stories about him. The door swings open, and immediately our eyes meet. Just momentarily, though, as he fires a rocket at me. I take it on the chest, the pain fierce but manageable. I gather myself and charge forward. The smoke from the explosion cloaks my advance, and in seconds I have the man in red struggling in my grasp. His men are firing at the spot I was hit by the rocket, unaware I am but moments from ending their leader.
Over the thunder of gunfire, I roar, "You took my world from me. You killed the only person I've ever loved. Why her?"
The gunfire stops as the soldiers realize they're firing at smoke.
The man in red smiles, recognizing his attacker. "You're that unkillable man, aren't you? I heard you moved to Siberia. Welcome home." I raise the man in red in the air, but his smug expression doesn't fade. "It's hard to remember them all, but there was one unforgettable woman I was with recently. I guessed she was a fan of yours when I saw your name tattooed across her chest, but now I'm thinking you are just as fond of that sexy little redhead as I am."
"You shut your fucking mouth!" I shout, slamming the man into the wall behind him. While I'm barely holding back, the man in red appears more amused by my assault than anything.
"I'll take that as a yes. Had a real good time with that one I did. You'd be surprised what a little torture will make these women do. Probably had her doing things you've only dreamt of. Real freak that one. Lucky for you, I kept her for another go."
Like are from a pierced balloon, all the rage leaves my body, replaced by the tiniest glimmer of hope.
"She's alive?" I whisper. The room is silent. The soldiers are aiming their weapons at me, but none approach.
Laughter erupts from the man in red, "Finally, my insatiable libido has proved useful. Indeed, she's safe and sound. How about a trade? You do a quick job for me, and I'll hand her over. What do you say?"
He laughs at me, superiority on his smirking face as he looks down at me from where I hold him. He has the one person I'd do anything for, and he knows it.
I laugh right back as I drop him to his feet, grab his arm, and snap it like a toothpick. The man shrieks, but his men don't advance or attack.
"WHERE?" I roar, clear thinking being far from possible right now.
"Kill him!" The man in red begs, but his men stay where they are. Instead, after glancing at one another, they retreat from the room as I twist his other arm into an unnatural shape.
"Where?" I repeat, this time in a low growl.
"Promise I leave here alive, and she's yours." The man's voice trembles, no longer filled with the bravado from earlier. Abandoned, he begins to cry.
I put my hand on the man's shoulder and pull him close. I whisper, "Where?"
"Promise," he snivels.
With my free hand, I grab the man's genitals and squeeze tightly. The man in red's face turns bright red as his eyes become comically wide. The rapid transformation is amusing. The formidable man I'd heard so much about quickly reduced to the whimpering mess before me.
Quietly, I ask a final time, "Where?"
"Basement."
I nod.
We both understand I'll tear the world apart to find my love if I have to.
I pull my hand away from him.
A short gasp follows the sickening sound of cartilage and skin tearing, then silence. The man in red gapes, stupified, shock preventing him from processing what has transpired.
Still holding his shoulder with one hand and his severed genitals in the other, I punch the man directly to the center of his chest with all my strength. The power I muster for this final blow allows my hand to rip through the man and crash deep into the stone wall behind him.
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I hope that the character is able to escape with his love. Judging from what I read, he might do more than escape. He might end Victor. He did weaken him, after all. Or maybe he only cares about her. Either way, I’m glad that there’s a possibility he could have her in his arms again. They’ll be together again. I’ve got a feeling he won’t ever leave her side.
I wish you a beautiful day/night.
To start off with I will first make it very clear that this particular piece of writing is not really my cup of tea. That being said I can definitely appreciate the quality of this piece: it's very poetic, mysterious, and perhaps most compellingly: it's vague to the point that it becomes difficult to put down. The fact that there are no names mentioned makes me, the reader, half mad wanting to find out what's actually going on. The way this is written with such detail but also so vaguely draws the reader in just enough to want to keep reading, however gruesome the story is. Of course, this is the only part that I've read - and jumping into it where I did might not be the most effective way to comprehend the actual story. Still, I certainly appreciate the method and style with which this was written.
Now that being said, if I were to make any suggestions for changes / improvements, I might suggest more suspense and build up to the gruesome happenings. Throwing such strong, almost gory, descriptions out there can make writing come across as rough and risque. Maybe that's your intention, but if not, you might try more character development, less emphasis on the poetry, and some lead time before the gore. This is certainly not a piece I will easily forget, feel free to take that as a compliment. 😏