E - Everyone

The Lecture

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The Lecture

They all sat ready with their pens, waiting for the moment when she would walk inside,

But when she actually did, alas! She said, “everyone, keep your pens and notepads aside”

This is different! Was the thought that ran in all of their minds,

“This lecture”, said she “is of a slightly different kind.”

They all watched in silence, as she walked up to the stage,

Waiting to hear her like an animal that was going to be freed from its cage.

“Who’s rich? Who’s poor?” asked she, her voice booming in the room,

“In my mind”, said she, “this question often looms”.

She wondered if anyone would be able to give the correct answer that night,

For sometimes, she thought, it’s not the mind but the heart that is right.

A few hands shot up in the air,

The other few sought solace from their chairs.

“A person who’s wealthy”, “ a person who can’t fulfill the basic needs”, were the replies that came,

But with a gentle shake of her head, all those people bowed their heads in shame.

“It’s not always about the money or resources” she said,

“But about a person whose heart, soul and mind are all well-fed”.

“Remember”, she said, “love and knowledge only expand with time,

But those millions, they get reduced to a nickel and dime.”

Then the hour came to a close,

And the room filled with the sound of applause.

That lecturer was one of a kind,

Because even after she left the room, her last words echoed in their minds.

“A man doesn't become rich or poor by what he has,

He becomes rich or poor by what he is.”

Comments & reviews · 5
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Random avatar
Lenora742
Review

Such a wonderful poem, and with powerful meaning! It was a delight to read. The rhythm and flow was perfect, in my opinion, and the ending was so perfectly written. Your title really was a good choice, because, as LogicAndObjections said, It really makes you ask "what kind of lecture?". That's the main reason I came to read your poem, and I'm so glad I did!

Welcome to YWS (I'm new too, so :D), and really, your poem is so wonderfully written, good job, and keep writing!

Thank you Lenora742 :) :D

Heyheyhey, it's a person here to review your work!

I love the poem that you've made, it really said something. As the title goes, I was thinking 'hmm what lectures exactly? Class? Parent?' so out of pure curiosity I came here. I think that's why your title is really eye catching, to make others think 'well what kind of lecture?'

I always believe that the last lines should make an impression on the readers, if you can possibly do it and I think you really did that as shown here:

"Because even after she left the room, her last words echoed in their minds.

“A man doesn't become rich or poor by what he has,

He becomes rich or poor by what he is.”

Then that message really gets imprinted into the reader's mind and you think long and hard about that message.

The flow of the poem was beautifully executed and I loved the rhyme. No problems I see here. Awesome job and keep writing!

User avatar
Tay01
Review
Tay01 wrote a review · Tue Jan 06, 2015 11:17 am

Hello, Tay01 here.

First, before I start I want to give yo a warm welcome to the Young Writers Society (YWS). As always, everybody here is as happy as anything to see a new member joined in the YWS.

So, to start with your poem, I think, overall it is pretty good. your rhymes are nice, suits and has good rhythm. Punctuations are good, meanings of poetry, could be better and that is done.

I think that your poem could look much neater by swiping for every line. and each verse on it's own. For example, do not write like this:


They all sat ready with their pens, waiting for the moment when she would walk inside,

But when she actually did, alas! She said, “everyone, keep your pens and notepads aside”

This is different! Was the thought that ran in all of their minds,

“This lecture”, said she “is of a slightly different kind.”

They all watched in silence, as she walked up to the stage,

Waiting to hear her like an animal that was going to be freed from its cage.

“Who’s rich? Who’s poor?” asked she, her voice booming in the room,

“In my mind”, said she, “this question often looms”.

She wondered if anyone would be able to give the correct answer that night,

For sometimes, she thought, it’s not the mind but the heart that is right.


Instead, try this:


They all sat ready with their pens,
Waiting for the moment when she would walk inside,
But when she actually did, alas!
She said, “everyone, keep your pens and notepads aside”
This is different!
Was the thought that ran in all of their minds,
“This lecture”,
said she “is of a slightly different kind.”

They all watched in silence,
as she walked up to the stage,
Waiting to hear her like an animal
that was going to be freed from its cage.
“Who’s rich? Who’s poor?” asked she,
her voice booming in the room,
“In my mind”, said she,
“this question often looms”.
She wondered if anyone
would be able to give the correct answer that night,
For sometimes, she thought,
it’s not the mind but the heart that is right.


There, that would do much better. But the rest are all fine.

Thank you for reading this (if you actually read throughout the whole thing). And again, wish you a warm welcome to YWS!

~~Tay01

Thank you so much! I'll definitely keep this in mind... :D :D

Random avatar
azizaanjum01
Review

Welcome to YWS !! Excellent, indeed!Well, this is probably the best thing that i read so far. It has a wonderful moral.

As you said, the title doesn't actually define the poem.

It has got a good rythm and good use of words. The punctuation marks are fine! The poem conveys a really good message. I admire the way you have conveyed an entire story in this poem. Undoubtedly, good!!!

keep up your good work!

and take time to review my works : 'to DAD" and "friendly freaking ghosts"

All from me ! :D

Thank you so much. I'll surely review your works :D :D

Random avatar
azizaanjum01
Comment

Welcome to YWS !! Excellent, indeed!Well, this is probably the best thing that i read so far. It has a wonderful moral.

As you said, the title doesn't actually define the poem.

It has got a good rythm and good use of words. The punctuation marks are fine!

keep up your good work!

All from me ! :D



You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein