Autobiography

HEELLO silverhanded,
I actually have no idea what this poem is about, but it felt good to read it XP. I don't know how, but something made me want to keep on reading.
When I saw the formatting, I was immediately intrigued. The way the stanzas are numbered, i've only seen that done once before- and that was in roman numerals so it technically doesn't count.
"I dream of a family as open to me Picasso: all sides out at once." The comparison is perfect. The way you described Picasso's art (all sides out at once), now that I think about it, it's true!
"I am the opposite of a cubist portrait: nothing on display at all." Well, in cubism, the drawing is broken up into cubes. You can still see the general idea, so there still is something on display.
"With sixteen years of Midwestern sunrises." If this is talking about your age, great job. I like how you didn't just directly state you were sixteen- that would've spoiled the fun.
The thing about this poem is that it's short and concise. Reader's love short and concise poems- people are in a hurry these days and enjoy brief poems that don't take a long time to read but leave a lasting memory in their heads.

Keep writing,

Night Kaizer

i loooooooooove this.

Hey, here for a review.

I have seen these simple listed poems before and this is a great aesthetic. It's simple and sweet, so now let's just jump right into the review.

I'm not sure what you have the title listed again in your "poem space", I personally kind of dig it but I don't think that it's necessary to be redundant. You feel? Now this title is kind of boring, when I opened your poem I was expecting one of those cliche poems (which your's isn't I'm just rambling now) that talks about a cliche sixteen years, but this is different. I believe that if you changed your title to maybe some line you have in the poem itself, it would be more eye catching and have a reader not have a preexisting mental image about what is going to be in the poem.

Your first phrase is catchy, but I'm not quite sure I understand how strong you meant it to be. I feel as if there was a lead in into the first sentence that is missing. It's not really clear to me, I would try making it flow before and after the phrase.

I like your first stanza it portrays a message clearly. A different theme is also put in every stanza and it's nice how you have them numbered like a different stage for a different step.

I dream of a family as open to me Picasso: all sides out at once.

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

So I've always found that your poetry is quite lovely, and this is no exception to the group. Let's delve right into the content of the poem. The first thing that I noticed about the poem was the title, which you also put above the poem, which I found to be interesting. I'm assuming that the poem relates to your own life or tells about it, and it does it in quite the unique way. I've come across a lot of poems that try to be personal to the person who is writing it, but it ends up becoming broad with common phrases.

The first stanza gives the poem a strong start. I had a nitpick about the first line, which is that 'As in a fairy tale' feels a little awkward, and I think it lacks clarity. I get that the rest of the stanza has the feel or tone of a fairy tale, but the line itself didn't make all that much sense to me. I'm confused because you don't really have a mention of 'you' anywhere else in the poem and it feels a little bit inconsistent if you're going to leave it hanging there.

If you're going to introduce another person into the poem, don't just abandon them. I'm not saying that the poem has to be all about this 'you' figure, but as of now, we don't know who they are in relations to the speaker. A guardian of theirs, a significant other? The last line is also something that I'm a little bit iffy on, but it works for what it is.

The second stanza kind of abandons the tone from the first, and I'd like to see a little bit more consistency when it comes to that? I get that this is "2." and you divided it into three sections, but I'd like to see them connect in some way shape or form. The first line in this stanza didn't make sense to me, and I'm thinking you could have meant "as open to me as Picasso", but I'm not entirely sure. I have a nitpick with the second line with the words, "And in the dream". I think you meant to say, "And in a dream" instead? That's something else where I was a bit confused with the poem due to your wording. I really loved the connection you make in the last two lines with the cubist portrait because it hits hard, and it's lovely.

The last stanza is the one that seems to be the overall strongest. The imagery that you use with the sunrises pooling into the speaker and the light being like ichor. I am iffy on the use of 'furled' because it feels a little bit off but at the same time, I love it because it adds more character to the poem. I'm assuming that the 'sixteen years' are the time that the speaker lived in the Midwest. I'm not sure if they were born there and been there their whole life, moved there, or moved away since. Overall, this is quite the lovely piece you have here.

I hope I helped and have a great day! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.