The Girl With the Big Red Wagon

by sillyducky

Published September 24, 2010

Do you ever look up at the moon and think of the side that’s lies unseen; the side that is hidden beneath the other side’s shining glory? Have you ever wondered if maybe that side gets lonely? Maybe that side never finds a kindred spirit. It’s just the other side of a rock that is so beautiful, so famous, that it is known all over the world.

Maybe that side wants to shine through like the other. Perhaps it’s struggling; perhaps it wants to be the side that’s known.

Do not doubt me- I would know these things. How? I am the other side of the moon. I represent the dark side of each of us- the side that goes unseen. My sister, Luna, shines like a spotlight, filling the world with hope. I sit in the background. I am the side no one ever sees. I am the side that doubts and cries and never dares to hope. I am the side that everyone has, but no one knows.

My sister Luna tells me stories. She tells me of the beauty in the world, hoping that it will overthrow my darkness. It is a worthless task. This is how I am. This is what I represent.

Luna told me a story one night. She told me about a little girl who pulled a wagon filled with toys to a field every day. Luna would watch her pull that wagon at seven every morning until the girl was not a girl anymore; until the girl grew old and her face was filled with wrinkles. One day, the girl’s neighbor asked her why she had never moved. She said, “I can’t leave my brother.”

The man looked puzzled and told her slowly that she had never had a brother. She sighed as if frustrated. “I have no brother anymore,” she curtly replied. “But that does not mean I never did.”

And then she left with her wagon. The man followed her. He was confused when she pulled into a field that was overflowing with grass and weeds. Carefully, the girl who was a girl no more sat down on a rock and placed the toys from her wagon onto the grass. She pushed a stray strand of gray hair behind her ear and began to talk. “Brother, today I went to the store. The lady who totaled my purchase told me the funniest story. I think you would have like her…”

And so the girl went on. The man sighed and turned away.

As Luna told me this story, I began to think. I am who I am- I think what I do. But just because I think there’s no love doesn’t mean that love doesn’t exist. And so my quest to feel love began. Every day I would ask Luna what she saw. Luna never slept. She was always watching.

She would tell me stories of young lovers, families full of hope, and tragic stories with happy endings. These stories fascinated me. Love fascinated me. It was something that I was destined to never feel. That made me angry. But I was glad to feel something.

From this day on, when you look up at the moon, realize that the man in the moon is not a man at all. Think of my sister Luna, for she is up there, and she is telling me a love story right at this very moment. Think of me- for I am listening, forever reaching for something I can never have.

Comments & reviews · 5
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ziggiefred
Review
ziggiefred wrote a review Review · Sep 26, 2010

Hello there :)
This story is definitely sweet and calming. I'ts a very interesting take on trying to explain the dark side of the moon. Also, I find it very creative of you to have come with such a story. I had a problem with part of the introduction, more especially the third paragraph

Do not doubt me- I would know these things. How? I am the other side of the moon. I represent the dark side of each of us- the side that goes unseen. My sister, Luna, shines like a spotlight, filling the world with hope. I sit in the background. I am the side no one ever sees. I am the side that doubts and cries and never dares to hope. I am the side that everyone has, but no one knows.

I think that you kind of really made an emphasis on the fact "what of the other side?" on the first two paragraphs that when you continued onto this one with the same momentum and topic, it threw away any anticipation I had for the rest of the story. You could try and revise it a little bit and make it stand out from the other first bits to keeping the suspense moving through out. I'ts a charming story otherwise, your writing is not there yet but it's really good. You have that gift to actually write a good story.
Good job. ;)

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Sunshine
Review
Sunshine wrote a review Review · Sep 25, 2010

:) :) :) :) :) Wow. I wouldn't call this a fairy tale. It's more mythlike. I don't think I can say anything bad about it. Seriously. It's a clever way to describe things to the world. I'm not the best speller so I didn't pick up any of those. Really, Really good!

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2010

Hey sillyducky! :D

A very nice fairy tale of a story! At least, that's what I read it as!

Now, this is a very scientific nitpick, but the dark side of the moon sometimes isn't dark. Sometimes, she can see the sun and all the other planets, unobstructed by the Earth. So, I think it would be really cool if you could describe what she does see, and then have her lament that isn't people.

Also, I think it would be awesome if you could use the rule of three here. Have this side of the moon recollect three stories that Luna tells her, and then have her wrap it up with the insightful conclusion that you have a then end. That way, it'll seem less brief and it'll be more meaningful. Right now, the ending kind of swallows up the story. Three different stories added will definitely lessen this effect.

Good luck with editing! :D

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wonderland
Review
wonderland wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2010

That was really interesting. Nice character choice. It was very new, writing from the moon's perspective-mad props!
It was also a little odd story-one of those little gems you get once in a blue moon (no pun intended) YOur spelling, grammar and description are all good, so is your emotion.
Keep writing
~WickedWonder



My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
— A.A. Milne