I can only write once
That's when inspirations hit
So when they do, I find a place
And in silence I sit
With pen and paper
And my thoughts running wild
I try to hone in on specifics,
Maybe something I experienced as a child
I think about love
And I think about hate
Or about where I'd go
If I could have the perfect date
When I settle on a topic,
My hand writes at top speed
To create a poem or story
Something people would read
But when I look over my words,
I'm ashamed of what I've read
So I crumple my paper
Can't take back words I've never said
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Hi, this is ZeldaIsShiek, here to review another amazing piece of literacy and beat the Werewolves once and for all! For the Witches shall win in the end! But before that happens, I am going to help you improve your writing as a whole and improve you as a Young Writer in the process. Of this I am certain. I like all literacy, regardless of what genre or subject it is falls under. When I review your work, this will become apparent to you. Are you ready? Let's begin the review!
This is an amazing poem that accurately describes what it's like to be a writer! Once you have the inspiration to write something, it is important that you write it at that time and do not wait until later. It is also true that many drafts are crumpled up and unused, regardless of how good the writing truly was. That is truly beautiful. This is one of the most beautiful parts of being a writer; the constant and spontaneous flow of inspiration! Truly, your poetic work has inspired me to write more and be more fluent in my writing. Thank you for being a great poet, and being my last review for Review Day.
-ZeldaIsShiek
Sorry, not sure why it sent twice.
*Mentally applauding*
I adore how simple this poem is, not to mention how the flow is on point. It's basic and It's pretty also very relatable. I like the fact that I didn't have to stop awkwardly in the middle to catch my pace. I can tell that you went over it, which in my defense is a great thing seeing how good it turned out. I am certainly not in the position to criticize but i feel that some people want some constructive criticism. Not sure how constructive this is, but one thing i noticed a lack of (which was significant to me), was the punctuation. I didn't have a problem reading it though, cuz my brain works on automatic, and the structure helped, but it might be nice to add a few more. It's a really lovely poem, more so that I feel you've just documented something I've been through in so detailed a way, I could have narrated it to you. It's really nice and straight forward, Pease keep it up! I pray you grow exceedingly better at this <3
Sharing God's Love
Hello santana, this is a fine piece but I have a few suggestions. this poem is very simple and true to itself there is no pretension in it, it kind of speaks about a novice writer, embarrassed to let his words travel from the paper to the reader's eyes correct me if I am wrong. here are my suggestions.
1. try to be more specific
2.pick a topic that you truly feel for, if you have just started to write maybe you could write about what bothers you this helped me to grow as a writer.
3.a little pretension never hurt anyone.
4. try to convey your message using stronger and assertive words, really force the reader to dive inside your writing.
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! So, lets get started.
So, first thing I notice is that many places are in need of correct grammar. To make it easier I will just list them.
1."So when they do I find a place" the word "do" should have a comma after it.
2."I try to hone in on specifics" should have a comma after "specifics" as well.
3."When I settle on a topic" once again, needs a comma after it
4. "when my hands write at top speed" is also joining the club of needs-a-comma-after-it!
5. "But when I look over my words" is the newest member of the needs-a-comma club
6. "Can't take back words I've never said" this lovely verse breaks the streak and seems that it would be shrieking that the poem would be better with a question mark. It would make the poem's meaning ever better.
Now is when I dissect you poem and see if can get its meaning right! So, you are seems stating that when ever you write something, you want ti known. There is no other way to put it. You want people to see you work and not be complete idiots about it. But then again, when you write, nothing seems to work or is good enough. But you put it out there anyways, hoping to get something out of it, no?
Anyways, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween!
Hello santana! Welcome to YWS! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
I can only write once
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
That's when inspirations hit
So when they do I find a place
And in silence I sit
{Add a "--" here to separate stanzas}
With pen and paper
And
mythoughts running wildI try to hone in on specifics
Maybe something I experienced as a child
{--}
I think about love
And I think about hate
Or about where I'd go
If I could have the perfect date
{--}
When I settle on a topic
My hand writes at top speed
To create a poem or story
Something people would read {I'm reading this :3}[/b]
{--}
But when I look over my words
I'm ashamed of what I've read
So I crumple my paper
Can't take back words I've never said [u]{I relate pfft}
I relate to this soooooo much. Your main problem was with separating stanzas, but otherwise this was pretty good! Great job.
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara