Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


Untitled

by santana


I can only write once

That's when inspirations hit

So when they do, I find a place

And in silence I sit

With pen and paper

And my thoughts running wild

I try to hone in on specifics,

Maybe something I experienced as a child

I think about love

And I think about hate

Or about where I'd go

If I could have the perfect date

When I settle on a topic,

My hand writes at top speed

To create a poem or story

Something people would read

But when I look over my words,

I'm ashamed of what I've read

So I crumple my paper

Can't take back words I've never said


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



Random avatar

Points: 3566
Reviews: 223

Donate
Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:00 am
View Likes
Mathy wrote a review...



Hi, this is ZeldaIsShiek, here to review another amazing piece of literacy and beat the Werewolves once and for all! For the Witches shall win in the end! But before that happens, I am going to help you improve your writing as a whole and improve you as a Young Writer in the process. Of this I am certain. I like all literacy, regardless of what genre or subject it is falls under. When I review your work, this will become apparent to you. Are you ready? Let's begin the review!

This is an amazing poem that accurately describes what it's like to be a writer! Once you have the inspiration to write something, it is important that you write it at that time and do not wait until later. It is also true that many drafts are crumpled up and unused, regardless of how good the writing truly was. That is truly beautiful. This is one of the most beautiful parts of being a writer; the constant and spontaneous flow of inspiration! Truly, your poetic work has inspired me to write more and be more fluent in my writing. Thank you for being a great poet, and being my last review for Review Day.

-ZeldaIsShiek




User avatar


Points: 404
Reviews: 3

Donate
Tue Oct 17, 2017 3:01 pm



Sorry, not sure why it sent twice.




User avatar


Points: 404
Reviews: 3

Donate
Tue Oct 17, 2017 3:00 pm
View Likes
Missymisunderstood wrote a review...



*Mentally applauding*
I adore how simple this poem is, not to mention how the flow is on point. It's basic and It's pretty also very relatable. I like the fact that I didn't have to stop awkwardly in the middle to catch my pace. I can tell that you went over it, which in my defense is a great thing seeing how good it turned out. I am certainly not in the position to criticize but i feel that some people want some constructive criticism. Not sure how constructive this is, but one thing i noticed a lack of (which was significant to me), was the punctuation. I didn't have a problem reading it though, cuz my brain works on automatic, and the structure helped, but it might be nice to add a few more. It's a really lovely poem, more so that I feel you've just documented something I've been through in so detailed a way, I could have narrated it to you. It's really nice and straight forward, Pease keep it up! I pray you grow exceedingly better at this <3

Sharing God's Love




User avatar
31 Reviews


Points: 38
Reviews: 31

Donate
Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:22 pm
singhvaibhav wrote a review...



Hello santana, this is a fine piece but I have a few suggestions. this poem is very simple and true to itself there is no pretension in it, it kind of speaks about a novice writer, embarrassed to let his words travel from the paper to the reader's eyes correct me if I am wrong. here are my suggestions.
1. try to be more specific
2.pick a topic that you truly feel for, if you have just started to write maybe you could write about what bothers you this helped me to grow as a writer.
3.a little pretension never hurt anyone.
4. try to convey your message using stronger and assertive words, really force the reader to dive inside your writing.




User avatar
206 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 206

Donate
Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:11 pm
DeerInBacPac wrote a review...



Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! So, lets get started. :D
So, first thing I notice is that many places are in need of correct grammar. To make it easier I will just list them.
1."So when they do I find a place" the word "do" should have a comma after it.
2."I try to hone in on specifics" should have a comma after "specifics" as well.
3."When I settle on a topic" once again, needs a comma after it
4. "when my hands write at top speed" is also joining the club of needs-a-comma-after-it!
5. "But when I look over my words" is the newest member of the needs-a-comma club
6. "Can't take back words I've never said" this lovely verse breaks the streak and seems that it would be shrieking that the poem would be better with a question mark. It would make the poem's meaning ever better.
Now is when I dissect you poem and see if can get its meaning right! So, you are seems stating that when ever you write something, you want ti known. There is no other way to put it. You want people to see you work and not be complete idiots about it. But then again, when you write, nothing seems to work or is good enough. But you put it out there anyways, hoping to get something out of it, no?
Anyways, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween!




User avatar
364 Reviews


Points: 15980
Reviews: 364

Donate
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:37 am
zaminami wrote a review...



Hello santana! Welcome to YWS! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

Spoiler! :
I can only write once

That's when inspirations hit

So when they do I find a place

And in silence I sit

{Add a "--" here to separate stanzas}

With pen and paper

And my thoughts running wild

I try to hone in on specifics

Maybe something I experienced as a child

{--}

I think about love

And I think about hate

Or about where I'd go

If I could have the perfect date

{--}

When I settle on a topic

My hand writes at top speed

To create a poem or story

Something people would read {I'm reading this :3}[/b]

{--}

But when I look over my words

I'm ashamed of what I've read

So I crumple my paper

Can't take back words I've never said [u]{I relate pfft}


I relate to this soooooo much. Your main problem was with separating stanzas, but otherwise this was pretty good! Great job.

Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --

Kara

Image


This review courtesy of
Image





it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina