My friend,
he is so neat,
My friend he is so pink,
My friend loves to dance,
My friend loves to be very neat.
He is my very best friend,
he has amazing teeth,
And a very long tail
My Friend is a pig :)
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hi there! Awh, I love this! I write poems about animals myself, and poems like this lack on YWS!
A couple nitpicks:
Since all the other lines are together, you should probably make this together, so in that case take out the comma after "friend" and combine the two into one line.
This is the only line that doesn't start with a capital, you should probably fix it and capitalize the "H" in "he".
That pretty much covers it (with nitpicking).
I love this, I love it because 1) it's about animals, and almost everyone loves animals, right? and 2) because it's just so short and sweet.
I love the almost "hidden" ryhming in here, as well.
This is a great, cute, poem! Continue writing more like this!
Hahaha I was literally laughing when I was reading this C:
Great poem! These are the poems I would love to read as I'm just getting out of bed for a humorous, fresh start to my day (am I weird)
Let get reviewing!
Because you started off the first line by breaking off "My friend, he is so neat" into two lines, why not do it for the second
as well?
And
is pretty irrelevant, I was laughing out so much XDD
You could change it to something that fits and makes sense with what you wrote before "he is my very best friend".
I don't know why you capitalized Friend. Throughout the whole poem you just referred to him with "friend," but that's still totally fine.
Nice poem, and I hope you continue writing!
Simple poem, but very cute!
I love the repetition of My friend, and how the third line is "so pink" to match the previous "so neat" even though so pink wouldn't normally be used.
I found the line "he has amazing teeth" also to be quite funny, and the smiley face at the end really caps it off!
Really, nothing negative to say about this one! I wonder what inspired her to write it? You don't happen to live on a farm do you?
Tell your sister nice work, and keep writing!
~Hadj
actually I just asked my little sister what to write about, she is 3, and she said a pig.
Oh, ok
ITs a great poem.
I love how you added
My friend he is so pink
It gives a n incite to what the poem is about and a little spoiler to the end mystery.
Really a good poem all together and I look forward to reading more (kid ish in a good way) poems by you.
Thanks for the opportunity for this amazing poem by you.
XD This is so cute!
"He has amazing teeth." Favorite line
I don't see much to critique, I just though this was quite an adorable little poem.
Very nice
Thanks my little brother and sister wanted to help me write so I let them help me
Aww, that's adorable. You guys make a great team