dear cassidy

this is a poem based on my wip, the laine project! it's from the main character to her love interest, who she hasn't seen in decades.

Thank you for sharing your work in progress!! This was a very evocative piece and I can't wait to see your future work!

Your poem feels like opening a letter that was never meant to be found, creased with time, but still warm from the hand that wrote it. There is a softness in the lowercase, a whisper rather than a proclamation, as if the speaker can only approach Cassidy’s memory in hushed tones.

The detail of seven kisses lingers like a charm, both fragile and unshakable. To measure identity by those moments - “the most myself I possibly could be”- is both heartbreaking and luminous, as though the self was stitched together only in the brief span of those touches. That number gives the memory its weight, its limit, and its eternity.

I love how Cassidy’s image slips away in the poem, the face blurred, the lips forgotten in vision but not in touch. It captures perfectly how memory betrays us: not in what we forget entirely, but in what remains half-formed, leaving us to fill in the gaps with longing.

The final lines cut the deepest: “forget me once, cassidy. forget me once, then twice…” The repetition takes on the rhythm of a prayer, a plea for release disguised as mercy. What could be more devastating than asking to be erased for kindness’s sake? It turns forgetting into grace, and that inversion is what makes the poem resonate long after reading.

This piece doesn’t just tell of loss, it breathes in the silence of what’s gone, and in that silence, it becomes profoundly human. <3 Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece.

Hi daisyletters! I know this is out of the green room but I still wanted to share my thoughts :]

I like the concept behind this being a glimpse into a separate writing project. I'm not too familiar with the characters/storyline of it but I'm basing my understanding off of the synopsis. To be honest, not knowing the full context kind of adds an element of mystery and intrigue! I'm missing the hows/whys but overall the heartbreaking and romantic themes are so strong that it doesn't seem to hinder the quality of the poem!

There are overwhelming feelings of loss and reminiscence throughout - the main character has presumably lost her memory but we're given a glimpse into her past, which is bittersweet from the reader's point of view because we know she won't remember in the present time as this is a flashback. This sentiment is emphasized with the line "forget me once, then twice, / then again and again for the rest of your life." It kind of evokes a star-crossed lovers vibe, in that they seem to connect at different points in time but the she forgets again and again.

There's an interesting dynamic happening between the two characters - the speaker seems to feel like they don't have a strong sense of who they are ("i've forgotten myself so deeply"), let alone who Cassidy really is/their shared memories. This was a really intriguing idea to explore, and brings in an added layer of hopelessness beyond just the romance aspect.

I think my only piece of feedback is perhaps to lean into the "forgotten moments" more. Cassidy is depicted in the speaker's recollection as an unfocused face, but even without specific features or memories we can get more details on the feelings of these moments. Illustrating a distant feeling like belonging and love through specific imagery would help us become more immersed in the speaker's thoughts, and also differentiate this poem from other heartbreaking love poems. This specificity would really enhance the wistfulness, I think!

Overall, lovely work!

Calamity

Hellloooo!! This is quite an intriguing poem that's an interesting introduction to your piece that's a work in progress! The established topic here, loss (memories), is executed really great through the writing, as it really adds to the feeling of a vague memory.

There's the question if a memory was just made up because of how distant it is, and the constant "waiting" for the memory to fully come back or to feel what that moment gave you, then the unclear face of their lover, that is all really relatable when it comes to having a vague memory. The speaker's questions and the repetition of "seven" in stanza two also adds to the feeling of having a vague memory, as it suggests the speaker is trying to re-inform themselves about what they remember while having doubts themselves. We don't *just* know this character has a vague memory of Cassidy; we get a glimpse of Cassidy through a vague fog ourselves through the writing.

cassidy, you still lay in my mind

seven. seven times that i was the most myself i possibly could be / these days i don't put too much stock in my identity

Hi daisyletters! Happy Review Month! Valkyria here to leave a short review for your work. Let's get into it:

I am unfamiliar with your wip, but it didn't deter me from reading your lovely poem. I enjoyed it a lot! Without having seen your pinned comment first, I got the feeling of long, lost love. Perhaps they grew apart. But since the main character hasn't seen Cassidy in a long time, there's a hint of melancholy. The main character can hardly remember the love interest's face. And she even wants Cassidy to forget her because she's changed so much and she doesn't like it.

This is my interpretation since I don't know your wip, but the poem has intrigued me enough that I want to explore more of it! Is that also on YWS? I'd love to read about it!