Misery or Humanity Chapters 11 & 12

A Prisoner’s Dilemma – Blaine

If you’re anything like me (and guys, I’m directing this mainly towards you), and have had a girl for a friend, then you know what it’s like to start having more than just “friend” feelings for her. So was the case with Julia. I had known her for as long as I could remember. She had been my constant companion ever since our mothers had met, back when we were only three years old. That was when Commons and Elite could mix ever so slightly. Ever since the wall went up, it hasn’t been the same. Our visits dwindled down, almost disappearing before we could both drive. But only up until recently, I’d started to develop what everybody knows as a crush on Julia.

She was beautiful, talented, smart, everything that a guy likes in a girl. She could draw or paint just about anything, and she excelled where others did not. Her tongue was fiery, and her wit snapped like a whip when she wanted it to. But she was also very fragile. Delicate. Flying off the handle at her was not something that would pan out nicely. I’m not saying she cried easily. No way. She would harden, become defensive, anything that made her appear tougher than she actually was. Julia was the kind to lash out at someone when she knew they could hurt her. It was a line I had learned not to step over. But back to that crush. I had never tried to make a move on her. I had never, ever overstepped my boundaries. Both of us knew where the other one stood at all times. However, I could not help thinking about taking our relationship further. She wouldn’t just be my girl friend, but my girlfriend.

I got to thinking about how she would take that. How Julia, my best friend whom I had known for over ten years, would react to the thought running through my mind just now. I wanted to date her. That was all. But a Common dating an Elite? I remembered the story that Mom had told me, when I was about to enter high school, about the Common girl who dated an Elite boy. She had been out walking with him, just as any young couple would do. Then, the authorities had gotten wind of it and swooped in. The boy was sent away, and the girl was never heard from again. Some say that she was hung, and others suspect she was banished. I shuddered, just at the thought.

I shied away from that idea. Even somebody seeing us together as friends would be the end of us. That’s why we met in secret all the time. That’s why Julia was so scared for me. She didn’t want anyone to hurt me, and who knew what would happen to her if her parents discovered it.

She was more sensible than me, at any rate. I knew that for a fact. I told myself that I wouldn't drag her any further into this. She didn’t deserve it.

To the Manner Born – Julia

As soon as I stepped in the door, I heard Daddy telling Mother about his promotion. He sounded excited.

“Co-CEO, Melly. Isn’t that something?”

“Mmmm…” Mother only sounded mildly interested. “It’s something, all right, Bill.”

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to pass the kitchen normally. Mother caught me, leaving my father to hang there, his mouth half-open.

“Julia, hon, where have you been?”

I winced. I had been hoping she wouldn’t ask that question. “Out for a drive, Mother. Just to clear my head.”

She sniffed, a quick moment of disbelief crossing her face. It was replaced by that expression she got when she wanted to hide all other emotions: a sort of passive calm.

“As long as you went nowhere near that slum town. Those Commons are slummers, every last one of them.”

I wanted to protest. Blaine was not a slummer. He was my best friend first, and then – maybe – he was a Common. And his sisters, the poor girls, had no idea what was going on. They were innocent. No one seemed to have any idea what was going on, for that matter. Blaine seemed to be the only one who understood. But I didn’t say any of those things. I didn’t tell my mother what an injustice it was, to judge all of those people and call them slummers. I bit back everything that was on my mind. All I said was, “No, Mother.”

“That’s a good girl.”

Clenching my fist, I left the kitchen, letting myself out into the garden. I glanced up at the mammoth of a house rising behind me. How could we live here, have everything, reside in utter bliss when we knew, somewhere out there, there were Commons working day in and day out just to put a meal on the table? How could we, as the privileged ones, take every single thing in our lives for granted? I had seen it myself, the squalor and poverty that those people lived in. There had been pain in every movement, every aspect of their lives. They knew, going to bed at night, that they would never wake up to anything different. Work, work, work. That was all they knew, and it would be their entire life.

I slumped down on a bench, feeling the sun bake my skin. Blaine had said something about their revolt starting tonight, but now that he had been caught, what would happen? There was no telling. 

The rest of the day idled past. I really had nothing to do, besides study for finals or sit around in the garden and chat with the gardeners. Painting had miraculously lost its former relaxation. All that came to me were thoughts about the Commons’ rebellion, and how my fellow Elites were completely oblivious to it. The only thing that came out of it was a red splotch in the middle of a white wasteland. What it represented, I hadn’t the slightest idea.

Mother was especially on edge. I suspected it had something to do with tonight. Again, she had picked out my dress, but wouldn’t let me see it. She waved me away when I tried the I-want-to-know-what-I’m-getting-into tactic.

Five-thirty rolled past, then six. Dinner was light; Mother said it would help me look my best.

“Melly,” My father protested. “Just because Jules is going to senior prom doesn’t mean we all have to suffer.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not watching your weight too, Bill.”

My father shrunk down after that and didn’t say a word. Mother finished first, leaving Daddy and I still sitting there, staring at each other from across the table.

From the next room my mother’s voice called. “Julia, sweetheart, you can see your dress now, if you want.”

Oh joy. “Coming, Mother.”

I cleared my plate, dropped it in the sink, and followed Mother’s footsteps. I found her standing in the walk-in closet next to a spare room. She was holding a white sparkly thing on a hangar, which I assumed was my dress.

“Hey, Mother. Is that it? That’s the dress?”

“Yes, Julia. It’s your color, don’t you think? And it’ll fit you nicely.”

I was itching to say that white wasn’t a color, but I knew better. Mother would flip. I put my hand out, and she gave it to me.

“I’ll step out so you can try it on. My baby’s finally a mature woman!”

As soon as she turned her back, I rolled my eyes. She had said the same thing about when I had accepted Daniel’s invite to the prom as well. Mother went out, and I changed quickly, before any second thoughts popped into my head. It was so covered with sequins that I had to look away. But it contoured to my body, and was a modest length, hitting just below my knees. Not a bad choice, I realized.

“Look at you, Julia. You’re beautiful.” Mother smiled, clasping her hands in front of her.

I caught myself in the mirror. The color of my hair stood out boldly against the stark whiteness, and made my skin look unflatteringly pink. It didn’t do much for my eye color, but I was willing to overlook that. I hadn’t noticed until now how skinny it made my legs appear. 

“Honey, do you want to do the makeup part now?”

I sighed. This was Mother’s favorite part. Besides picking out shoes, it was the makeup. 

“Coming, Mother.” Goodbye, simplicity.

I knew Mother didn’t approve of what I did now, but I didn’t care. I had more important things to worry about. For instance, my teachers and the principal had told me my chances for becoming valedictorian this year were high. Not only that, but lots of colleges had seen art of mine, and rumor had it that a scholarship was in order. 

“Julia, hon, turn your head this way. I can’t see your other eye.”

I did so, my gaze wandering out the window, and noticing Daniel was here early. Mother had obviously not noticed.

Fifteen minutes later, everything was done. My eyes were made up, my hair was curled, and Mother even went with some sparkling spray, making me look like I was covered in tiny stars.

“Thanks, Mother.” I breathed, taking it all in, not even recognizing myself.

“You’re welcome, hon. I know you’ll have a good time. I did when I was your age.”

It was then that the doorbell rang.

“That’ll be Daniel,” Mother hurried downstairs, me following.

“Hi, Mrs. Cartwright.” I heard him say as the door opened. “I’m here to pick up my date for the prom.”

I stood behind my mother, trying to see over her shoulder.

“She’s right here, Daniel.” Mother stepped aside, revealing him. I blinked. He was in a tux, his red bow tie and cummerbund offsetting the white and black. But I had to admit, he looked handsome.

“Hey…you look beautiful.” He stepped inside. “Dazzling, Julia.”

“Thanks, Daniel. Looking pretty sharp yourself.”

He blushed, looking down at his feet.

“You two make a perfect pair.” My mother smiled, and I could swear she had happy tears.

Daddy came limping into the front hall. “Daniel, my boy.”

“Hi, Mr. Cartwright.” He smiled, but I could tell it was fake.

“Hold on, you two, I have to get a picture.” Mother rushed off.

Daniel rolled his eyes. 

I shrugged. “Mother’s like that. I think she likes you.”

“Oh, really?” Daniel looked genuinely surprised. His hand traveled up my arm, landing on my shoulder. His fingers traced my collarbone. 

I shuddered, the feeling of his slightly damp hand on my bare skin raising bumps on my arms. He began to fidget, fiddling with one of my earrings. Mother came back just then, and Daniel slid his arm around my shoulders. I tentatively inched mine around his waist, considering how much taller he was than me. There was a momentary flash, and then another. After the third one, Mother set us free, taking care to remember the gold Elite necklace.

“Just in case,” she said.

We both gave her a small smile as we headed out the door. Daniel was silent until we reached his car. Then, once the peace and quiet of the car settled around us and we were both comfortably situated, Daniel sprung it on me.

“Your parents are watching us,” was the first thing he said.

I snuck a look around him. “So they are.”

“Should I…kiss you?”

“Should you…you…what?”

“You know, to make your parents happy.”

“Daniel, I don’t think kissing me would do the trick.”

He considered this for a second. “I guess not. But it might boost me.”

I gave him a look. This, if nothing else, was completely out of the blue. There was an uncomfortable silence, and I could see Daniel struggling with his emotions.

“May I?” he asked finally, blushing.

Turning to face him, I took a deep breath. “If you must. Whatever gets us there faster.”

He grinned, catching me by the shoulders. His fingers dug into my shoulder blades. Then, leaning forward, his lips met mine softly. I could feel his hand sliding up, cupping the back of my neck. He drew away for a second, only to come back with less gentleness. I gripped the edge of the seat, feeling like I was about to tip over. Daniel pressed harder for a split second before we broke apart.

“Thanks for that,” he said softly, starting the car.

I shrugged, belting myself in. “You’re welcome...I suppose."

He smiled and nodded. I leaned forward, taking one last look at my parents before we drove off. Mother was waving, and so was Daddy. Feeling myself smile a little, I waved back. Then, we turned the corner and they disappeared from view.

We rode mostly in silence until it occurred to me: where was this thing?

“Daniel, where is prom this year?”

“Um…” He squinted. “That…uh…ballroom down in Larkspur Center. The one next to the hotel.”

“Oh…” I nodded as if I understood.

Silence again. I stared out at the sunset, the sky flaming red and gold.

Daniel quietly and occasionally hummed to himself. I sometimes wondered what he thought about. He looked sort of pensive, and his brow was furrowed.

“Daniel?”

“Huh?”

“You okay? You seem worried.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“What’s the matter?” I studied his profile. In the dying light, he was all black, white, and shadow. Perfect for a drawing.

“Well, the thing is, my brother and I haven’t exactly been accepted to college yet. And…we’re kind of starting to worry ‘cause we applied almost a year ago and still haven’t gotten anything back.”

“Which ones did you apply to?”

“Just one. UC Berkeley, actually.”

“My father went there. Don’t give up, Daniel. Daddy sent in his college transcript to them so many times they had to take him. So, all’s not lost.”

He smiled, his hand landing on my shoulder. “Thanks, Julia.”

I nodded, saying nothing.

“Look. There it is. Larkspur.”

I sat up, peering out of the windshield. It was nothing exciting, just a tan building, turned a light mocha by the setting sun. The doors were wide open, colored spotlights dancing around inside. Cars, anywhere from jeeps to limos filed along, their occupants disappearing into the crowd. Daniel turned into the parking lot and squeezed into a spot.

He took a deep breath. “Ready to go?”

“Yes,” I nodded, meeting his eyes. “Yes, I’m ready.”

“Okay.” I heard him say as we both got out. “Let’s do this."

He gave me his arm, and we slowly made our way towards the building.

A strange feeling came over me then. Cold apprehension in my stomach made me feel queasy. Something wasn’t right. A flicker of movement on the roof caught my eye. Someone was up there. I blinked, making sure I wasn’t seeing things. But soon enough, I caught it again. I stopped dead in my tracks, pulling Daniel up short.

“What?” He sounded genuinely surprised. “What’s the matter?”

“Up there. On the roof. I thought I saw somebody.” I squinted, waiting for it.

Daniel blinked, and squinted at the roof. “I don’t see anything.”

“Fine,” I said, as lightly as possible. “Maybe I’m just imagining things.”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”