Snake and nature.........

Heyy Rishabh!
The poem is good but has a lot of grammatical errors.
First of all
" i came out of my house for breezing"
The 'i' in the above line should be capitalized.

And secondly I found the piece a bit informal and very uneven about the flow.

I didn't understand this part '' following them.........lolz?''
I found that line very informal and please remove the 'lolz' from the above line.

And one more thing is that I am basically repeating what HomeSchooledTeen has repeated.

About the capitalization again please make this as a habit
do capitalize all the 'its' and the 'I' in the poem.

''no, I like..."I said". okay about this line.
I think the 'no' should be capitalized and the 'i's too.

''hey lad , why are you running....."
There should be a question mark after running I think that will surely make the question complete.
''then, why you got frightened from a snake?''
please do edit the above sentence/ question mentioned.

I know that you wrote this poem in 5 minutes while you were walking but please make sure that you first read your poem and do a thorough read and then post it.
I am pretty sure the capitalization could be edited by you before you could even post it!
But its fine.....
Just be careful when you write!

Anyway keep up the good work!
and the most important thing
Keep writing!:D


Please don't think I mean these are just to improve your way of writing and encourage you even more!
Have a nice day!!!

I'm afraid that I am a nitpicker, and here I see many grammatical mistakes. (Don't let the fact that I choose to point these out first upset you, I prefer to criticize and then compliment.)

Stand alone 'I's should always be capitalized.

following them..........lolz?

I do not understand why you felt the need to attach a "Laugh Out Loud," to the end of this section. It simply doesn't belong there.


you don't like nature?"

It is my personal opinion that instead of "You don't," this sentence should begin, 'Don't you.'


"no, i like...."i said.

First of all, what do you like? Secondly, there should be a space between the quotation marks and the 'I'.


"then, why you got frightened from a snake?"

This sentence makes no grammatical sense whatsoever, and needs to be edited.


I also believe that in any type of poetry the first letter of every line should be capitalized.


Now, grammar errors aside, my very clear griping aside, I enjoyed this poem. It was a good read, and the title suited it well. I did enjoy the ending, even with the grammar errors, it was easily my favorite part. The plot was good, the topic was definitely covered, and the flow from line to line was very good. All-in-all, very good job.

Now, my review is as always based on my opinion and therefore it is up to you to take it into consideration. If you do not wish to adhere to my suggestions, then that is your choice and I cannot fault you for it. I only hope that in some way this has helped you, but if it has not then I sincerely apologize.

Happy Writing!
HT

Huh. Well, first of all, I believe you should fix every grammar mistake. Also, the genre doesn't match. It should've been more rather "suspense". It doesn't fit otherwise.

Okay, onto more parts of the review!

it was a cloudy Monday evening,

i came out from my house for breezing,

the clouds running scarily fast,

like someone following them,

following them..........lolz?

for what?

for rain?

for rainbow?

or for something else?

it was a suspense,

from which i was undisclosed,

i too, started running with the clouds,

for what?

for the answer?

i think not!

i just wanted to see,

that who is following who?

after running a mile,

i stopped.

stopped?

but why?

a wrong question at wrong place,

i was totally amazed!

i had seen a six feet python,

"run....run" My mind said.

i ran, my speed was good,

but, again, after running a mile,

i halted.

halted?

now what?

at a sudden,

a cloud burst,

an unknown voice reached my ears,

"hey lad, why are you running.....

you don't like nature?"

"no, i like...."i said.

"then, why you got frightened from a snake?"