Engima

by regalredstar

Published June 6, 2007

Enigma

It is near, very near.
Yet far, oh so far.
It’s harder than rock,
Yet softer than silk
It is salty, it is sweet
It is messy, it is neat
It is difficult, very difficult
Yet easy, very easy
It is smoother than Ivory,
Yet rougher than bark
It is harsh, it is gentle
It is questions, it is answers
It is an odd thing that happens
Yet normal in the world.
It is diffcult to answer
Yet its clear as day.
It is a puzzle, it is a mystery,
It is future, it is history,
It is an enigma

Comments & reviews · 9
User avatar
GingerLizzy
Review
GingerLizzy wrote a review Review · Sep 18, 2007

Not too bad, with a great idea.

But, the repetition annoys me somewhat and made it boring to read after five or six lines. Your structure was okay, but not the best and I had some problems with the punctuation you used - although I can't fully quote on this because my won punctuation is poor.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Drownsinapuddle wrote a review Review · Jun 10, 2007

Even when I did like your repition of "It is" and "Yet...", it got annoying.
Also, in the second line, "Yet far, oh so far.", it seems wrong. Maybe it should be, "Yet far. Oh so far." because the comma just seems out of place. I don't know. Maybe my grammar is all messed up right now XD

Last, of course, ending the poem with the title is a bit... odd. I mean, yes I have done it, but to you, you shouldn't do it. It seems pointless to end something like that, especially when you used the same word in the title. It seems annoying too.

Good luck with future poems!

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review Review · Jun 10, 2007

Fand ate my thoughts in pointing out the "it is..." pattern, and how annoying it got.

I think this poem thrives off of rhyming/rhythm rather than, like one expects from the title and it's setup, a question. I can't exactly pick out word that rhyme, when looking at it, but maybe it is the rhythm, then? When read, it flows. Everything "fits" but it doesn't make any sense.

If you are covering the abstract topic of enigmas...it isn't too interesting. You'll want to write about something the reader can get a feeling from or relate to. Poetry (IMHO) is about making the reader feel/think something.

User avatar
Fand
Review
Fand wrote a review Review · Jun 9, 2007

I think that if you cleaned it up and completed deleted the last three lines, it could be a decent riddle. The "it is" repetition got old very quickly, because not only is that a very commonplace sound pattern, but it's also incredibly passive (and, for the greater part, passivity is to be avoided at all costs in poetry). "Ivory" should not be capitalised, and you misspelled "enigma" in the title, which is a very big no-no, as it leads the reader to begin forming opinions of your ability as a writer before they've even seen the poem itself.

After all, if the poet can't spell the answer to her riddle right even in the title, how good can the poem be?

User avatar
fueledbyjoy
Comment
fueledbyjoy commented Comment · Jun 9, 2007

quite the poem
you could have found some bigger contrasts to emphasizzzzz your point a bit better.
Pretty good all in all

ERIn

User avatar
M.B.Author
Comment
M.B.Author commented Comment · Jun 6, 2007

I have to agree with them. It was OK. Not the best you have done. The riddle was catchy, and clever. Personally I hate riddles. And this is not an exception.
Sorry, I did not like this very much.

-- M.B.Author

User avatar
Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Jun 6, 2007

Hmmmm...

In this case, while it is an okay riddle, I would rather you not say directly at the end, "This is an enigma" partly because the title says it already and poetry that is repetitious can be very bad and partly because readers are smart and can usually figure it out. ;)

User avatar
Rydia
Review
Rydia wrote a review Review · Jun 6, 2007

This is okay but I don't think you describe what an enigma is completely. An enigma isn't just a list of opposites, it's so much more than that. One definition states that an enigma is 'a puzzling or inexplicable occurrence or situation' so maybe try and bring that into this piece. It's a mystery, a puzzle to solve. Other than that I only found one mistake...

It is smoother that Ivory, I think you mean than Ivory rather than that Ivory.



How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.
— David Foster Wallace