Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
Fionnuala (FINN-OO-LA)
I have watched mountains rise and fall,
I have seen civilizations flourish and crumble.
Days have come and gone mercilessly,
As my heart continues to ache and throb
For my beloved Liaghren (LEE-AGH-REN).
Nothing stays as steadfast as the two sisters, love and hate.
Once they embed themselves in your heart, they stay there forever,
Surpassing even the tallest and strongest of edifices.
I cannot forget the day my stepmother cursed me and my siblings to be swans that travel the lakes and rivers of Éireann (AY-RUN) for 900 years.
My hate for her has grown and the flames of hate have continually burned just as strongly as when I first fell victim to its darkness.
For centuries, my will to live has been fueled by images flashing before my eyes—
Picturesque, soulless revenge, a cold fire burning within my heart.
I dream of blood spilt, bodies laying, and a tarnished weapon in my hand.
My eyes bloodshot with rage, a vengeful grin spreading wide,
As I long for the day I can avenge the life and love stolen from me.
Liaghren. Oh yes, Liaghren. My beloved.
The love that I have for him, she burns just as passionate as her twin sister.
He understands me, shares my passions, and loves me despite my clear flaws.
His hair falls at his shoulders, his gait rivals that of King Arthur’s, and his smile shines even in the pitch black of night.
But my, oh my, it is a treacherous sin for me not to mention his eyes.
Green as the rolling hills of Éireann; Vibrant and alive, beckoning you to drown in their enchanting depths.
I have drowned a long time ago and could not imagine freeing myself from his grasp.
But, stepmother.
She took him away. She made sure that he could visit me no longer.
I now sing songs of grief and melancholy and sometimes hear him singing with me.
Alas, I wait. I wait for this curse to break. Perhaps while I am here, I can share a song me and Liaghren sing. Maybe it will inspire you to spread this story past Éireann and allow others to take part in my sorrows.
Fionnuala:
A ógánaigh an chúil chraobhaigh, (A OOGANAY AN KHUL KHREVY; O’ young man with the flowing hair,)
Cad é an taobh ar go mbiónn tú?(CAHAD AY AN TEAR GO ME-UN TOO; Where can you be found?)
Nó an bhfuileann tú gan chéile nó ’n I t’aonair a luiónn tú? (NU AN VULIN TOO GAN KHELUH NU AN EE TAN-AIR A LEE-UN TOO; Are you without company or do you sleep alone?)
Liaghren:
Ó taimsé gan chéile (O TAMSHA GAN KHELUH; For I am solitary)
Agus i m’aonair sea luímse (AGOOS EE MAY-UNAIR SHUH LAYOOMSHUH; And I am alone)
Cé hé sin d’a fhiafraí nó an éinne beo ón tír í? (KE HE SHIN HA EEREE NU AN AY-INA BEEO ON TEER EE; Who is there I can ask for—is there anyone in the world?)
Context to poem: Fionnuala was one of four children who were famously known as the Children of Lir. She was an Irish goddess who was cursed by her jealous stepmother Aoife (EE-FUH), along with her siblings, to be swans that roamed the lakes and rivers of Ireland. They retained their human minds and voices, but were trapped in swan bodies for 900 years. It is said that for those 900 years, they sang haunting melodies, which calmed those who heard them. Once the siblings were finally freed, they returned to their original human forms—but they had aged greatly and died soon after, reuniting with their mother in heaven.
Link to song: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ynMc8U2r8Tw
More on the story: https://glensofantrimdistillery.com/blogs/latest-news/the-story-of-the-children-of-lir#:~:text=A%20curse%20was%20placed%20upon,their%20life%20as%20enchanted%20swans
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139,274 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hi! Purple here to do some reviewing, and hoping we can help improve eachother’s work here, haha. Okay, this is another poem I’ve discovered in the Oldest section of the Green Room, and I’m surprised nobody’s reviewed it. This is a really cool piece, and I love the ode to Irish folklore (it’s a very underappreciated genre of folklore, in my opinion). I think you did a good job adding these descriptions that remind you of an Irish countryside, and of achieving that tone of longing and sadness that Fionnuala would have, in her cursed position. This really feels like a poem loyal to the story and the goddess, and the love story is so touching. Likewise, I love the dramatic and romantic description of Liaghren, and how it fits the time period with things like “the gait to rival King Arthur”, and such. I also appreciate the pronunciation and translations you included, I think that’s great, however, I also think that they could have been put at the end, or in a comment? Just because having the original Irish text, the pronunciation, and then the English lines made the song part feel a little cluttered, and took some of the impact out of the moment. It didn’t “ruin the whole thing” or anything like that, of course, just a little thing I noticed. I also noticed, “I dream of blood spilt”, and I just think maybe “blood spilled” might have been a little more accurate? I’m no grammar whiz, though, so I’m not fully sure about that.
With 5 being very adequate, I would give this poem a solid 8/10, just about. I think it was really cool, the lore was great, I just think the formatting for the song could have been just a little cleaner. However, that’s also subjective, and maybe someone else will think it’s great as it is. Great job, regardless.
Hello, there! Avi here with a review
I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is a poem based on a specific Irish myth. Fionnula, the narrator of the poem, was turned into a swan along with her siblings for 900 years because her stepmother was jealous of them. They kept their human voices and minds and sang haunting melodies that resonated with or calmed those who heard them. I interpret this to be early human explanation for why swansong is so haunting, eerie, and beautiful-- because these swans were once human, and parts of them remain human.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I would clarify that the metaphorical twin sister is hatred in this line.
I would have included it like
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I love that you shared the song that Fionnula and Liaghren sang in text (not only in English, but in Irish) and made it part of the poem by having Pionnula say she wanted to share it with us (the readers), which broke the fourth wall in a fun way. I also love that you had pronunciation guides, though I would have had them at the end as a note. I love that you had the context at the bottom and included the link to the song and the full myth.
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
All in all, this is a lovely poem and as a lover of mythology, I'm so glad to see more poems based off of different mythos.
Happy Reading, Happy Writing!
-avimoon
This is a really cool poem! Did you make up the irish lyrics yourself or are they form an old song? I like Celtic mythology, and languages, so this was really interesting.