A True Son of Adam

Hey there! Taost here to share some words!

First Impressions:
The first thing can can be noticed with this work is the old, some would say broken or Shakespearean, English. While, for many of us now, who speak modern English, it is a tad hard to understand. But when read slowly, the story really does reveal itself.

What was interpreted:
What I took in from the story was a young man falling into the waves of an intimate interaction with a woman, specifically his woman. Pushing that aside, the poem flows out, using a structure some would use in describing a scene of a story. Descriptions, Dialogue, Thoughts, ect. And that really drew me in.

The way you drew in this poem was clean and thorough in the descripition. You let the reader know what was going on, the actions taking place, how it was happening, and then you closed it off nicely without leaving us hanging dry or confused.

Suggestions:
While this form of English isn't commonly seen anymore, it's still a fascinating use of literature and it's fun to experiment with. I'm no expert, so please do not take my words to heart.
I noticed the biggest thing that confused me was the overuse of "th" at the end of some words. At some points, it felt unnecessary to have, and created a block in the image you were trying to create.

Other than that, this poem was truly amazing and I loved reading it! Good job!
~Taost

Hello, I shall leave a quick review!

Interesting choice to use old English sounding words. It really is an exercise to take it upon oneself to write in this fashion. I'm not sure I quite understand the use of apostrophes to break up or shorten words that don't necessarily need shortened, but maybe it's a technique I'm not familiar with.

This poem seems to be about a man who adores the woman he loves. He would give anything to be with her, and he practically idolizes her. I'm assuming the reference to him being "Adam's son" is used to emphasize the very human, very strong desires the man feels toward the woman. That is an interesting and creative way to convey that idea.

I am not a pro on old English wording, but I do know a few things, and I'd like to give you some tips. I would encourage you to make sure you have a good understanding of how verb tenses work. Just because you say "giveth" or "stealest" or something like that, that doesn't necessarily make it the correct old English form of the word. I noticed a couple instances where the verb tense needs corrected. One is in the lines "as his instrument is unable to containeth all the emotions within." Later on, there's a line that says, "I beseech thee; do not partest from me."

While both of those are definitely old English forms of those words, this is not the correct way to use them. For example, a verb like "containeth" that ends in "-eth" typically denotes a present tense or ongoing action verb. So for instance, you could say "This letter containeth all my thoughts," or "He fighteth for his life." So yes, you have old English-ified several words, but there are correct and incorrect ways to do this, and if a writer does it wrong, it can sound really cheesy and ignorant. So that's why I'd encourage you to familiarize yourself with old English verb tenses.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for sharing this, and keep writing!