Violence

Prince of Silk: Chapter III - Rumors of a Prince

         The Silk Order was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming annual conference ball. Each faction from each of the schools around Portalverse would gather a selected group to attend. The students of the Varvona sector were on their best behavior, hoping that when the selection came, they would be chosen for the great honor of attending. Saskia had little expectation that she would be chosen, the only thing interesting about her being the abilities she possessed from the portal tear and her horrific burn scar across her face.

         She stood on the outskirts of one of the open-air courtyards that was used for training youth soldiers. It was a pale slab of stone: white on the verge of blue, in the shape of a large circle. Large pillars surrounding it were in varying states of repair: some were short and crumbled, while others reached towards the sky, vines crawling in between their grooves. Right now was the morning co-ed session, where girls and boys would practice together. Professor Rahiam stood with his arms crossed as two girls unleashed their fury on one another; grunting, ducking, sliding, and sweating on the pale stone.

         One of them was Hadle Mian. Her prowess was unmistakable. Her long black hair was strung up into a tight ponytail, whipping in the spring wind as she mercilessly attacked. The girl she was opposing desperately attempted to defend herself, but Mian was faster and stronger. She was the girl who the Order had just rescued from the northern parts of Xandread, near Ekrasine. A Natural who's familiar was killed, and along with it, her magical abilities. As Saskia watched, she understood the fury and desperation in her movement. She knew how it felt to have something so precious taken from her. Mian had witnessed the death of Feran, a Silk Order spy stationed in Ekrasine, and rumors fluttered around the Varvona faction like blue butterflies, whispering that the reason she was so angry and unapproachable was because she had been in love with him.

         “Jur Eastesa, do you want me to interfere? Marill is obviously hurt,” Daishan Vincino, one of the few Aviens in the faction, pressed his superior as he watched the brutal fight. Everyone watching was silent, tense, paralyzed by the raw brutality the girl was showing. He flicked his eyes from a tense Rahiam to the fight. Rahiam didn’t falter his gaze. “Jur! Please, I don’t want to disobey your orders, but- “

         Mian pushed the girl to the ground and took a dominant pose over top of her, a fist raised above her head. Saskia remembered her fury she felt as she kicked the raider back and threw the torch with brutal accuracy. She stood, as if drawn to the fight by an invisible force.

         Daishan stepped forward, but a hand grabbed his arm. Before he could tear away, Mian stood, leaving the crying girl on the ground. She stormed towards one of the pillars, shooting her fist and sending veins of cracks through the stone.

         “Mian, that’s enough. Go back your dorm and calm down,” Rahiam’s unflinching stature and calm voice punctured the tense silence. Mian turned towards him, her ponytail flicking in the wind. Saskia strained to hear her words.

         “I will kill him. I don’t care if he’s your prince, but someone like him does not deserve to live! His life is not any more important than Feran’s,” Her heavily accented voice was like bullets shooting towards Rahiam’s chest. The crowd murmured in confusion. He stood silently, unmoving, but she could’ve sworn pain flashed in his eyes.

        As soon as she left, the crowd of young warriors shuddered. Jur Eastesa, what did she mean when she talked about a prince? They asked. Is the heir alive? Who is he, is he coming here? Rahiam raised his fist to silence them. He seemed to realize there was no hope in masking what had already been revealed.

        “We have received information about the whereabouts of the heir.” The group erupted into more questions and exclamations. “But none of you are involved as of now. Saying anything about it outside of here could get you killed, and there would be nothing I could do to stop it,” he finished. “Daishan, I want you to lead the drills for the rest of today's training.”

        Daishan nodded obediently, but he couldn’t help watch curiously as Rahiam left the grounds. Saskia heard immediate chatter, some nervous and celebratory, erupt after Rahiam had walked a significant distance away. A voice above the others was Daishan, attempting to calm the group, although his voice was just as upbeat and adrenaline fueled as everyone else. Saskia scrambled herself to run as she saw Rahiam walk up the stairs towards the hallway she was eavesdropping from.

        “Turn around,” Jur Eastesa’s unmistakable smooth yet firm voice said. Saskia spun on her heal, nerves rising, hoping he wouldn’t force her to talk. “What do you think you’re doing?” He was tall and lean, tan skin and a large, arched nose, a true Varvonan native. He wore an instructor’s uniform, crisp red with dark blue embroidery.

        Jur, my name is Saskia, I am Jal Bobaris’ apprentice. I was just watching training during my free time, she signed, waiting for him to look at her with confusion. Her hands shook, and she wrung them together.

        “I know who you are,” he said curiously. He must’ve known Versian sign language, for he responded with ease. He must’ve also known she was only mute and not deaf, for he did not bother using his hands to communicate. Saskia knew that Rahiam was invested in his students and who they were, but she didn’t expect this. And she wasn’t even his student. “Do you like healing?” he asked, and began walking down the corridor, a cool breeze blowing in from the arched openings in the stone. Saskia trailed behind him. He had just witnessed a girl threatening to kill someone, and now he was making small talk?

        She wouldn’t risk burdening one of the most highly ranked members of the Silk Order with her thoughts. Yes, she responded. Rahiam raised an eyebrow, which Saskia had to incline her head to see.

        “I’ve seen you tending to some of my students after fights,” he said. “You have a concise and effective form. I could use someone like that in my ranks.”

        Saskia started, almost tripping in her healer’s slippers. Her memory flashed to Mian’s brutality, to the torch Saskia had thrown at the raider. The idea of fighting tugged at her soul that had been numb for so long. She realized that, more than anything, she wanted to fight. He’s probably just asking because he needs some replaceable extras, she thought. But I’d make him know that I am not replaceable. Excitement bubbled in her chest, spilling out through her breath like stardust.

        It would be an honor, Jur, she signed.

        “Good. I’ll talk to Jal Bobaris about your change in apprenticeship. If you’re serious, join tomorrow’s training at the courtyard, same time as today. I’ll have one of my soldiers get you caught up,” he concluded, walking away as Saskia’s slippers were glued to the ancient, mossy stone. It felt like a dream. It had all happened so fast, but now... she was going to be a soldier. 

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Euphory
Review
Euphory wrote a review · Tue Oct 20, 2020 6:15 am

Woooooo another awesome chapter!!! Although it's a shame that it's discontinued, I just wanted you to know this is still excellent!

I love that we're getting brand new characters still!!! And I think the setting in this chapter is something I really adored! How the pillars are kinda half crumbled and the vines and aaghh, not to mention, you made the characters interact with the environment they were in! Like, for example, you mentioned how their sweat from the fighting was staining the slab, and later Mian punching one of the pillars XD

I think all that could be improved would be more paragraph breaks. Here's a method to know when to start a new paragraph:
Remember TIPTOP
Ti- Time gap
P- New place
To- New topic
P- New person

When one of these things come, then it's time to introduce them in a new paragraph!

Overall I loved this a bunch! Thank you for sharing and keep growing <3

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John1999 Review

Really interesting piece! Definitely worth revisiting this, I wouldn't discontinue it! I suppose my one piece of feedback would be that there's quite a lot of information to take in very quickly - but I love how you start with the action. Writing is really clear and concise too, descriptive without being too heavy

Thank you for the review, and thanks for the feedback! Yes I have noticed looking back on it that I give a lot of information quickly. I'm trying to work on making things easier to understand in my works in progress.



/I think, today,/ he thought back, /the important fact is that I don't/ need /to be better than him. He can just be a person. And I... I can just be one too./
— Adolin (Wind and Truth by Brandon Sanderson)