Sparrow and Spaghetti Chapter 6 (part 2)

This is all my fault.  I opened the door.  I let this happen.

            Beth rests her head against the bed post and very faintly bites her lip.  Her eyes drill into my head.

            “Can you make sure she’s okay?” I ask the boys.  I can’t do this.  I’m just so tired.  I want to be alone. 

            They glance at each other then back to me.  “Umm, you sure?  Didn’t she just, you know, umm?” asks Jason.

            “Please?”  I dig my nails into my palms.  Please go away.  Please.

            They look at each other again.  “And you’ll be okay here?  Alone?” asks Ethan.

            Grabbing his hand, I say, “I’m fine, I promise.  And I won’t be alone.  Please, just stop her from doing something stupid.”

            They hesitate, then nod and make their way out, with only a brief look back.  I try to smile as I watch them go.  The front door creaks as they leave.

            Almost as soon as they leave, the agony splits open Beth’s face.  She rubs her hands into her eyes and folds over, bringing her good leg into her stomach, to form a mock-fetal position.

            “Beth,” I whisper.  She groans and shakes as sobs tear through her starving body.  What happened?  I lower myself to the ground next to her, resting my hand against her head.

            “Don’t,” she spits.  Her voice quavers like a feather being brushed aside by the wind.  My hand jerks back and I find a small pit of fear growing inside my stomach.  “I’m fine.”

            But you’re not fine.  Oh my gosh, what do I do?

            She brings her head up and tries to sit again.  I watch as she fights to control her limbs.  How on earth did she pin Liz?

            “Should you be, umm, resting or something?” I whisper. 

            She laughs, sort of.  It sounds almost like a crackle, but it still makes her smile for a moment.  “Resting’s for pussies.”

            “S-so you’re just gunna lay there then?”

            “No.  I’m fine.  Really I-” she says, but her voice breaks down.  “Please help me.”

            I kneel down and ask, “What do I do?”

            She closes her eyes for a moment and lets out a long exhale.  “Here, take my arm,” she says, extending her arm towards me.

            I take it with both hands and try to pull her up.  She screams and pulls her arm loose.  “Not like that,” she growls.

            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” 

            “Get down,” she says.  “This time, I take your shoulder.”

            I carefully squat next to her and she wraps her arm around me.  Alright, not too fast, don’t hit anything, okay.  I slowly stand and she hops to keep up.  “Bed,” she mutters. 

            Slower than I thought possible, we make are way back to the side of the bed and lift her into it.  She adjusts herself briefly.

            “Sit,” she says, controlling herself.

            I take a moment to gather my bearings as she watches me with a smirk.

            I feel almost like my head should be spinning, but as my heart rate lowers, I feel almost empty.  Does that make me in shock?  No, why would I be in shock?  I’m fine, I have to be fine.

            Beth still watches me, now with a growing smile blooming on her face.  Is she making fun of me?  Well I’m sorry for not being bad ass enough to walk this off.  I don’t go around attacking people just because I haven’t gotten my breakfast yet.

            “Comfy?” she asks.

            “I, umm, yea I guess.”  I stutter, trying to sound smart.  She smiles briefly before succumbing to the pain again.  Even when she chuckles, her eyes are glazed over, looking at nothing.

            She doesn’t say anything for a moment.  It’s like someone pressed pause on her and left the rest of the world spinning.  Should I say something?  Am I supposed to wave my hands in front of her face?  Or is there no real correct way to wake her up?  I shift in my wooden chair.

            An enormous rumble echoes from her stomach, piercing the cold silence and forcing her awake.

            She adjusts herself into a more comfortable position but no words.  Not even a mumble.  She’s awake now, but doesn’t seem to notice the rumblings echoing across the room.

            “Do you want something to eat?  Or, umm-”

            “Yes, thank you,” she says, not even bothering to look up. 

            I leave her there and make my way down the stairs.  A sense of delusionary heroism lasts until I’ve reached the kitchen.  Why am I doing this?  I don’t know her.  Maybe I did once upon a time, but she’s different.  I’m different.  And where are my parents!  Why did they just leave me here?

            I pace back and forth around the granite island.  This is wrong.  This is all wrong!  I should be with Liz at the mall, or with Ethan in that little coffee shop.  None of this should have happened, and Beth, well, she should be in the lower city.  I don’t care if she thinks I’m a friend, regardless of whether I am or not, that’s where she belongs.

            A long sigh escapes my lips.  She’ll want her food soon.  I lift my head from my hands and check my face in the microwave.  Red.

            I reach into the refrigerator and spill out leftover spaghetti onto spare plates and rush my way up the stairs.

            This isn’t her fault, it’s mine.  I picked her, she’s my responsibility.  When I open this door, I’m going to be that supportive best friend she didn’t know she had.  We’re going to eat, then laugh about pointless things and we will all be fine.

            I take a deep breath and clutch the door handle.  Before I can tell myself not to, I push open the door and plaster a smile to my face.

            “Hey!  I figured we could finish off some left over spaghetti, I hope you don’t mind.” 

            “Thanks,” she mutters.

            I hand her the plate, keeping my eyes down.  She mumbles something or other, I’m really not paying attention.  Before I even make it to my seat, I hear the clang of silverware and I release my breath.