The Chosen

by psychoxsweetie

Published April 22, 2011

Summary: Lilianna always knew she was different. The violent visions, scaring nightmares, and hauntings proved it. But somehow, with the help of her loving mother, she had found a way to deal with it. Now that her mother is dead, Lily doesn't know who to turn to. Her stepfather is frankly terrified of what happens to her and her stepbrother is just as clueless as she is.

After a year of that terrible night, her stepfather decides to move the family to her mother's hometown, just to get away from all of the messes. So far, New Haven is peaceful to her. Nothing seems supernatural or threatening. She doesn't know anyone so maybe she might be able to make friends, something that is a first for her.

Later, Lily finds out that she is part of something that is unimaginable to the human mind. It will change her life and the opinion on who she really is.

Lilianna Rozalli is the key to beginning the Holy Wars - the seven years of hell and the battle between Good and Evil. What's more tempting? The truth or the power?

Comments & reviews · 7
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kaitlyn
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kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Sep 22, 2021

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Summary: Lilianna always knew she was different. The violent visions, scaring nightmares, and hauntings proved it. But somehow, with the help of her loving mother, she had found a way to deal with it. Now that her mother is dead, Lily doesn't know who to turn to. Her stepfather is frankly terrified of what happens to her and her stepbrother is just as clueless as she is.


Well, as far as summaries go, I think this one was pretty well done here. There's a pretty cool sounding premise there, I don't think I've run into anything along these lines before. The mysterious and scary visions making a person stand out has been done before, but what strikes me the most is how the mother used to be able to help her with them and after the mother's death the rest of her family which appears to be her stepfather and stepbrother and simply clueless to help, its quite often with stepfathers especially being cast as the bad guys, so this is an interesting little difference here and I like that.

After a year of that terrible night, her stepfather decides to move the family to her mother's hometown, just to get away from all of the messes. So far, New Haven is peaceful to her. Nothing seems supernatural or threatening. She doesn't know anyone so maybe she might be able to make friends, something that is a first for her.

Later, Lily finds out that she is part of something that is unimaginable to the human mind. It will change her life and the opinion on who she really is.

Lilianna Rozalli is the key to beginning the Holy Wars - the seven years of hell and the battle between Good and Evil. What's more tempting? The truth or the power?


Hmm, now these questions really make things more intriguing here, I love the setup there at the start, but then with this getting into the blurb, this honestly takes on some very blurb like vibes and I'm loving that here. This sounds a little more like what I've seen before, the whole supernaturalness and this person being meant for something more, but you manage to present this is a fairly exciting way here. Overall, this sounds like it could make for a pretty decent story.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

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IcyFlame
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IcyFlame wrote a review Review · May 31, 2011

Sounds good! You need to mind map all of your ideas clearly so you can get ideas of characters and such but it has the potential to be really interesting. One thing I did notice that beginning has already pointed out:

psychoxsweetie wrote:After a year of that terrible night, her stepfather decides to move the family to her mother's hometown, just to get away from all of the messes.

a) I would say a year after that terrible night
b) Is the terrible night the one where her mother dies or where a particularly bad scene takes place?
c) I would change 'get away from all of the messes' to 'escape from all the mess.' That's a matter of personal opinion though and you don't need to change it; especially as it is just a blurb for the story!

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Chelsea4827
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Chelsea4827 commented Comment · May 30, 2011

This sounds really good. I have always like to read a book to do with God and that. I really hope you carry on.

Chels

beginningtowrite wrote a review Review · Apr 28, 2011

This sounds like a great idea! One section that confused me a slight bit though was:

psychoxsweetie wrote:After a year of that terrible night, her stepfather decides to move the family to her mother's hometown,


The start of that sentence doesn't quite sound right. Is it saying that the nightmares and visions have only happened once? OR is it referring to the night that her mother died or something completely different? I wasn't quite sure.

Apart from that though this was great and I am looking forward to reading the rest (:

TheGreatBronsteeny commented Comment · Apr 23, 2011

Sounds Great! I am also a serious christian, so this is pretty interesting. Will it in any way be tied in with Revelation or something like the Left Behind series?

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XxjustmeXx
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XxjustmeXx wrote a review Review · Apr 23, 2011

This sounds really interesting, I hope you write more soon. I'd suggest making the good and evil thing a little more subtle. It sounds a bit cliche so if you could smaller ways to work in, it might sound better. Anyways, I would enjoy to read something like this. Good luck in this and all other future writes.



I exist as I am, that is enough
— Walt Whitman