lost and to late

Wow. This poem is very good, to be honest. Though, I've found some grammical mistakes~

In the...nineth line. You shouldn't put "cuz'. Try "'cause."

But overall there wasn't anything wrong! I would love to read more of you're work!

~Katie

Hi there! I liked the idea of this poem though I agree that you should revise it grammatically. The first five lines flow very well, but from the sixth line and onward, the flow gets choppy. You should check to make sure you don’t rhyme just for the sake of rhyming. Sometimes, and I come across this in my own writing, the rhymes sound forced. So you should revise your poem, add some punctuation and change some words around until you find the natural flow. In my opinion, if the poem flows it still sounds good even if you can't understand it completely. So if the flow is good, you're golden. Haha. Have fun and keep on writing!

Hey Princess! This poem is awesome! I love how short, sweet, and to the point it is. It is nice how it seems that it was effortless but is still elegant in its simplicity. I think it is written very well but could use some grammatical revision. I think you need to be more careful with run-ons. Your whole poem is one sentence, which can be okay at times, but in this case you need more punctuation. Also, you should always use the correct spelling of a word unless spelling it incorrectly has some significance to the poem. If you want to use the word cuz instead of because if it fits your poem better, than you should spell it 'cause, which is actually a correct way of spelling it. I know that I have difficulty sometimes with the same problems, But it is always extremely helpful to look over your work multiple times before submitting it. I know that I hate revising my own work, and it can be very boring, but I know from experience that it makes work much better. So great job on this poem, and keep up the great work!

Hey there. My name is Scar and I'll be reviewing your poem tonight.

Okay, first off, you switch from "I" to "you" and "her". First person, to second. I must say, please try to stick with one point of view. It's distracting when you keep switching them. Oh, and it's "too late" in the title. People often mix up "to and "too". Even I do it.

And now, on to the proper review. I like your concept here, but it feels like it's missing a lot, like...the rest of the story, if you know what I mean? You're telling me less than half the story here, and I'm getting a little confused. Where's the why and the how and when, the who? All I have is "I", "you" and "Her" and it doesn't give me much else. What are you too late for? Why do you feel lost? What would you give to see that face? Tell me! I want to know!

I think you could really expand on this a lot. I want to know more here, and I'm sorry if I seem a little harsh, but I'm really only trying to help.

Overall, I really did like the imagery I get while reading this, even if it lacks a lot of things. Despite this, it is lovely, though short. You could definitely expand on it, give us more to the story. But I do like what you've done with it. So, lastly, you have a wonderful, beautiful, very interesting poem here, despite it being short. You could do a lot more with it, though. And I just have to say thank you for the poem! I do like it, and I am going to click like.

Remember; Keep it up and never stop writing!

~Scar

Hey, princessofmisery!

Rocky here for a review.

Let me start off by saying that I loved this. You have a great idea of the emotion you want to express through words and it seems to show in some places. There's just a few errors that stick out to me that dasiamari didn't point out.

The rhythm is slightly off. I like how you tried to mix things up and make every third line the longest, but it doesn't sound right when read. Perhaps you should break things off into stanzas or shortening the overly long lines so that they better flow together.

The last thing I'm going to talk about is your rhyming. It's great in some places, but nonexistent in others. It appears that you have a ABBCCCDDCEC rhyme scheme, which is great, but it once again affects the rhythm. My Creative Writing teacher always used to say, "If you're going to rhyme, stick with it the whole way through. Set up principles and keep going with them until you're finished." Now, you don't have to, of course. Many of the world's famous poets don't rhyme or have little to no rhyme scheme at all. But it's just something to think about when you are writing a poem.

I hope this helps and I can't wait to read more of your work!

~ Rocky

Hello there Princessofmisery! =)

I am going to try and give you a good review here and be honest about what I like and about what needs improvement. =)

First I want to welcome you to YWS! 8D I hope you'll have an awesome time here and your writing will improve. If you have any questions or just want to chat, my inbox is always open. =)

Alright, so let's look at your piece of writing! It's a pretty nice poem but it does need some improving. The story you are trying to tell us through this poem did came forward, but we would like to hear more about it. Sometimes the shortness of a poem adds to it, but this needs more detail. And perhaps a little more imagery would really add to it and would make us feel the narrator's pain even more. You need to add something to this that will really catch people their attention and will stay on their mind for a long time (a lot easier said that done! XD).

Alright, let's go to the grammar-nitpicks! This piece will look a lot better when you add punctuation and capitalize the first letter of a new sentence. It will make it easier for us to read it. =)
And there are a few typos in it, but those are easy to fix =D

lost and to late

now its to late to show you

i would tell u now

cuz you love her ture
and all you would say is its to late

Hullo my wonderful llama!

I loved it! Okay nitpicks!

I's need to be capitalized!
I think you mean true when you say, 'cuz you love her ture'
also your its should be it's
and in this line, ' and all you would say is its to late for me and you. I think it should be written like 'and all you would say is "It's to late for me and you."

Okay! I loved it!
~mari <3