there are mirages that look more real than your reflection. you're searching, for hours, in the mirror's glassy waters. wandering in the deep end never got you anywhere, just alone. you've explored these waters for far too long. all you have found is the swell of a sad memory of yourself. even that, you think, could be an illusion.
when wayfinding goes wrong, do sailors still turn to the stars? or do they curse the sky for all its secrets? after all, lies are built on untold truths. you think that's why a stranger looks back at you. reflections show skeletons you'd never even known, and bones that had long been buried.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
this is gorgeous, please remind me to review
Hello, phantasm!
Wist here to review your lovely poem. I love prose poetry and the style you've written today heavily mirrors prose. So, I was very excited to read your piece! I was even happier to learn that the writing was amazing! It has one central metaphor that you build to be quite strong by adding more detail to it. I love the premise of reality you use here and not being able to trust your memory because illusions can be so convincing.
The second paragraph adds an interesting question slightly outside of the metaphor, which allows some breathing room to help the continuation of your main mirror metaphor strike deeper. I also love the idea of old-time Sailors sitting at the crow's nest, cursing the stars because it's cloudy. Though, that has less to do with your poem. The imagery of skeletons in your mirror is a classic but is still strong with how you've used it. The idea of looking in your reflection and seeing something long dead is unsettling and the best poems to me are the ones that are a little uncomfortable. "Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed."
Overall, this was a lovely poem! I was excited to read it and your talent made it worth it. Great job! Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.
Happy Writing!
Wist
Hey there! Wow, this was fantastic! First of all, I love the style that you wrote in. The sentences flow wonderfully into each other. I love how you divide it into two separate parts, with the second one focusing more on this question that you asked right at the beginning. I found them to be very expressive and engaging. So I thought I would stop by and and leave you a review, let's jump right in:
For this first part, I want to begin by complementing you on the language that you use. It's so simple. But you paint this beautiful picture. You talk about reflections and searching in the mirror as if it's this endless ocean that you're venturing across. It made me feel like I'm on some sort of fantasy adventure, but really, we're talking about looking at your own reflection in a mirror. You explore these reflections and images so much that it feels more like a memory, so vivid, I love it.
Love what you did here. You start by asking question, which really gets us engaged and keeps our attention throughout the rest of the peace. I love what you did to hear about strangers and reflections and skeletons. It has such a strong impact on me. My favorite part was probably when you said "lies are built on untold truths". To me, this really speaks to reality, and how we all perceive it differently. Perhaps I only feel one way because it's how I've learned to see myself. Maybe strangers look back at me and see me differently. Maybe reflections show me, skeletons, or parts of myself that I have never learned to know because they've been buried so deeply in the ground that I've never been able to see them. Overall, I found this to be a very expressive and detailed and beautiful peace. Fantastic job on your details and making beautiful scenes. Fantastic day, and keep writing!
Your friend,
Ellie