i.
a home has no definition but
ripping open a fruit with bare fingers
and scraping out its center could
cut the word down to its closest meaning.
don’t be mistaken — a home is not sweet,
but it is also not born bare-boned and empty.
ii.
you’ll always start with a heart in this
hollow house, and slowly its body will be cored
out until even the bones become too bitter
for the world’s begging mouth. know that
you can never outrun it: this will only hurt you more.
iii.
and i hope there’s a way to live without
the fate of falling, of breaking, of rotting.
is it possible to savor something that
was never really yours. is it possible
to make a memory of something so painful
it makes it all feel futile.
iv.
don’t eulogize your home and don’t expect
a reunion for all the versions of yourself
you’ve lost trying to build it. you’ll just forget
(again and again and again) all of the pieces
you’ve put into this. all of the parts you’ve sacrificed.
so how will we ever get home? how will
we harvest a place out of this ruthless, rotting
world? i will wish upon fields of fruit for something
sweet. and i hope, finally, i come out of
this more than empty-handed.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Hey there, friend! This poem is incredibly beautiful, so I thought I would stop by and leave you a review. Let's jump right into the review:
To begin, I love the beautiful organization that you use. Weiding, it into these different sections makes it very clear and easy to stay focused. I found that the numbering that you used gave it a very mature style. Adding onto the aesthetic parts of the poem, I also loved the maturity of your content. You have such a beautiful, poetic voice. You talk in this way, that's not overly complicated or hard to read, but it's still feels incredibly mature and growing up. It feels professional, but incredibly personal. I don't know how you do that, but that's something that I aspire to have in the future.
I love the stances so much. It flows so well, when you use the word flowing and falling. Followed by breaking and rotting. All of these words that end with -ing make it flow so magically. And you continue using this double alliteration with the word sour in something. You touch on some really big and bold questions too, when you talk about memories and asking if it's possible to make a memory of something that is painful. I love how you don't just ask these questions, but you expand on it in a deeper, emotional way by applying emotions, and other descriptions, such as futile.
I loved this ending:
You ask even more big questions here these make me really think. They make me reflect so deeply on what Home is to me, and where I am, will I leave with more than I came, or am I still sacrificing myself for this life.
Fantastic work on this poem! I can't wait to read more of your poetry and keep on writing.
Your friend,
Ellie
hi!
The imagery in this poem is really vivid and I can picture everything so clearly.
I like that you are playing with the idea of 'home sweet home' and it is so strong throughout.
I love the repitition of the fruit with words such as "bitter" and "rotting" and I especially like that you bring back the fruit reference at the end.
my favourite bit is the first two sections and the idea of coring a fruit/house:
"ripping open a fruit with bare fingers
and scraping out its center"
and how it repeats the idea SO nicely with:
"you’ll always start with a heart in this
hollow house, and slowly its body will be cored
out "
Overall this is a really lovely poem and makes me think of the house I live in and how many versions of myself I have become because of it.
silas
Hey there, Sofie here with a review!
Such a beautiful poem! Very melancholic, I could really feel every word. This right here is my favorite verse;
"don’t eulogize your home and don’t expect
a reunion for all the versions of yourself
you’ve lost trying to build it. you’ll just forget
(again and again and again) all of the pieces
you’ve put into this."
The way I interpreted this was ; don't mourn for all the past versions of yourself. Because they still exist somewhere in you and they helped get you to the current version person are today.
Anyway, great job and can't wait to read more from you soon!
Sofie
i've missed your beautiful poetry
ahh thank youu