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Cereal

by penny


I have no idea what this is. It's just a paragraph. I tried to turn it into a poem at one point, but it just didn't work.

So have you figured it out yet? Cause I haven't... it being the reason I always feel like spilling my guts to you. Why I want to hand you my life on a platter and feed it to you with a fork.Why I feel the urge to e-mail you to say things like I'm eating fruity pebbles, dry, with a plastic spoon and then to tell you that it’s the way I've been eating them since I knew fruity pebbles existed, because I don't put milk on my cereal. I haven’t figured out why I tell you everything without conviction and my stories are never evanescent. I pull the same words out of my mouth, like taffy, in five different orders until I see you put the answer I want in my hand like a lucky penny you suddenly found on the floor. The problem is, you never find lucky pennies, you find buffalo nickels. You find answers worded in ways that I’d never even think of searching for. I haven’t figured out how you do it. I haven’t figured out why I love the way you walk. I haven’t figured out why when I try and picture you in my head, I can never see your face. I picture you talking to me, but it’s always with your hands. You always find your way around things. Instead of telling me I’m beautiful, you tell me I’m attractive. Instead of laughing, you smile and instead of telling me you love me, you send me e-mails in the middle of the night that say things like “I’m eating rice krispies, dry, with a plastic spoon, because I don’t put milk on my cereal either.”


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94 Reviews


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Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:20 pm
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Eliza:) wrote a review...



Why I want to hand you my life on a platter and feed it to you with a fork.

This sentence doesn't have a subject.

Why I feel the urge to e-mail you to say things like I'm eating fruity pebbles, dry, with a plastic spoon and then to tell you that it’s the way I've been eating them since I knew fruity pebbles existed, because I don't put milk on my cereal.

This sentence is too long.

I haven’t figured out why I love the way you walk. I haven’t figured out why when I try and picture you in my head, I can never see your face. I picture you talking to me, but it’s always with your hands.

Try to vary the beginnings of the sentences.

It was definitely a interesting story. The only problem with it is that it is kind of hard to understand some parts. Other than that, it was fine.




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Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:43 am
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Katemabob wrote a review...



Yay! Finally another person who does not put milk on their cereal!
Review: This is a nice and interesting paragraph. You should really try turning it into a poem, like you say in the description. It is interesting how you think! Um... I would recommend putting some indents and turning this into different paragraphs... but it is okey . So yeah. I liked it! Good job.




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Tue Dec 14, 2004 1:38 am
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Crysi says...



Same here! That's really cute! :D




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Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:19 am
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Elelel says...



I like this! It began a little awkwadly, but it really began to flow about half way through, and the ending made smile! :D





Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss