"The Loss of a Beloved"

the loss of a beloved hurts a lot. your poem is true to all those emotions. the feelings are all well expressed in minimum number of words. I appreciate that. I have not watched Merlin though. had there been a little segregation in form of stanzas, it would have been a lot better read. Keep up the good work.

Hello xD

THIS IS AN AMAZING POEM! This masterpiece is perfect! I love on how you put all your effort and brain cells to made this! This is like heaven on earth! I really do love it! I hope this gets published someday in a book or newspaper or something that can go worldwide because this deserves it! Heh. I might just be exaggerating, but this masterpiece got me overwhelmed and I really like it! Wait no. I don't like it. I love it! This is just amazing! It's the definition of amazing!

Sorrow, Agony, Longing feeling, Depression, Brokenness, Heartbreak and Insanity is reflecting throughout the poem! This shot me right to the core! Relatable! Very relatable!

The deepness of this masterpiece is way too deep for hell xD

I love it! Don't stop writing! Keep up the fantastic work!

PENDR PENDR PENDR PENDR
I saw this and was like WAT and then I saw that you wrote it...and it all made sense.

I just love the fact that something so deep and passionate came from a TV show. XD it sounds odd to many, but hey, that's fandom life.

I like this a lot. I might break it up into a few stanzas, instead of one long one. Make it less choppy and such.

Also, you used "sorrow" and "sorrow" a bit too close together for my liking. Probably my biggest pet peeve when reading (anything) is that so many authors use the same words right after each other! Like, hello, this is why the Thesaurus is my favorite book.

Umm. Yeah. Not much else to say.
Not my best review xD but you know.

keep writing poetry. and stuffs.
I would love to see a different form of work from you...be it chapter or story or symbolic writing. I'm working on a short that is quite symbolic, almost like a poem, which I think you'd be good at.

so. yes.
I will see you, friend.

~iron.n

Helo pendr,
TS here reviewing

I did like this poem, and although I do not watch Merlin I think I can still get it. There were some elements to this that shone through more than others, these were my favourite lines; they show that although this poem is not exceptional - sorry - you do have potential. When you said,
"The memory will haunt me
The knowledge will change me"
I smiled. I like these two lines, I think they go well together and add to the flow of the poem - this is a constant thing you must concentrate on, the flow. It is what makes a poem, and I think that in some places of yours it got confused.

"How long till it doesn’t hurt?
When will I be able to look at him
And not start crying?
I’ve lost my will to live.
I no longer want to go on."

I think this is a perfect example. I know you're trying to display true emotions, but in doing that you have veered from poetry to just plain listing of your feelings. Make sure not to do this too much next time, I mean - a poem does not have to rhyme, I am a very strong believer of that, but if it doesn't then you absolutely must keep it in some kind of rhythm. This poem has strong emotions and, like I said, i like some lines, and the ending. But throughout the flow and rhythm was choppy. It was like I was reading a plain paragraph, poetry should be like the drums of writing. You have to keep a beat so as the words flow.

Also, use stronger vocab. I can't stress this point too much - you don't need to use thirteen letter words on every line but you should try to decorate it somewhat. Use powerful words, don't be afraid to get a little creative and eccentric.
Over all, I did enjoy reading and reviewing this piece, I liked how you were true to your emotions and I liked how you summed it up well with the last line.

Well done for one of your first pieces on YWS, I hope I helped you somewhat.
Yours in ink,
The Shauzer.