art class

Wow, man! You're a deep spectrum of vivid orchid!

What can I say that hasn't already been said? The way you colourized those last few phrases...WICKED! You got my vote, Pedro!

Is this a love story? I envision one of those quirky hipster tv shows about two misfits who fall in love while taking art together. Also, I like what you did with that font, man. You gave me just enough to piece together a story without going to far over the volley ball net. Catch my drift?

Don't know what to say for improvements. Why does the teacher call buddy boy a trooper? Is he a failed artist? Haha, me too! Hey, wait, are these kids in kindergarten art or high school art? I'm reading about pipe cleaner souvenirs and thinking these dudes are a lot younger than I thought. Give ol' Selfridge a shout and let me know. I like understanding literature through the eyes of the author. Know what I mean?

Anyhoozers, keep doin the do and doin you!

Hi, Hope here,

First off, the good:
I really like how creative you are when coming up with poems. I've tried and failed to come up with something interesting enough and you got it all in the bag. I love how the last lines are very dramatic. Well done.
I think that you could have capitalized some, it isn't necessary, but it makes the presentation look better.
All in all, you have a very special gift with poetry, you could go far in this. Don't give up, just keep writing more and more. And don't down grade yourself,; you'll just lose confidence.
Keep on doing what you're doing,
Hope

Hi, Hope here,

First off, the good:
I really like how creative you are when coming up with poems. I've tried and failed to come up with something interesting enough and you got it all in the bag. I love how the last lines are very dramatic. Well done.
I think that you could have capitalized some, it isn't necessary, but it makes the presentation look better.
All in all, you have a very special gift with poetry, you could go far in this. Don't give up, just keep writing more and more. And don't down grade yourself,; you'll just lose confidence.
Keep on doing what you're doing,
Hope

Heya, Savvy! Casanova here to review!
Okay, so I do this a certain way. I start off with the good(if any, and in my opinion), then the bad(if any, and in my opinion), then I conclude! Haha! Let's get to the review, shall we! To the review!
The first thing I noticed after reading this poem was thee last lines.

"Seeing you again is like
Seeing color for the first time."


I absolutely love how this switches from the bold, blackness of the other text- and then goes into the red font. I really enjoy this because red is known as a colour of passion, and love, and fire and all those emotions that go with it. Props for that, Savvy!

The next thing I noticed about this was the description and imagery. It's really well thought out and well put- amazing really. I particularly enjoyed these parts(pertaining to the imagery and description, that is)-

"The golden years have an existential crisis in the grave
Wondering what it's like to unearth themselves and
suffocating under the possibilities of being painted,
Splashes of color stirring in their chest;
Alive at once."

I really enjoy those lines. The description, especially the,"Splashes of color stirring in their chest," part.. It's honestly wonderful. I love it- thank you.

This is normally the part where I list the best lines out of the entire work- but I think I just listed them. There's nothing that, in my opinion, can improve upon those lines, so props for that!


Anyway- to the next part!


One thing that grabbed my attention was the lack of capitalization. This isn't a big issue- but a style preference. It makes it cleaner.
The next thing was the punctuation, or the lack of it in spots. Here's a couple examples of this.


"the golden years have an existential crisis in the grave
wondering what it's like to unearth themselves and
suffocating under the possibilities of being painted,
splashes of color stirring in their chest;
alive at once."

This is actually a good example of both. If it was capitalized it would look /neater/, and sometimes when people are reading a poem they won't infer a pause- so try to do that for them. Adding commas and things in the first line would really help- in my opinion.
Besides that I could rant on and on and on about how,"Well used," this subject matter is- but it never gets tiring to read. And I could rag on the flow- but I think this one is okay.

Anyway- the imagery was there and thought out- but the punctuation in spots really nagged on my brain. Thank you for posting- overall it was a really decent poem.

Keep doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely- Matthew Casanova Aaron.