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18+ Language Mature Content

dissimulation

by noahfencebut


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

CONTENT WARNING: themes of sexual assault and conversion therapy; swearing. please do not read if you find these topics distressing.


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54 Reviews

Points: 9805
Reviews: 54

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Sun May 14, 2023 12:15 pm
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MerleBlackbird wrote a review...



Dannnnggg this one hits hard. It's incredible how you brought such strong emotions to life so vividly in such a short piece. "Pacing like a caged animal around and around this ** body" really hits home. But also: "you turned my body into a heaving hell." And the end feels like sickening victory. When the victim declares with absolute certainty that he/she was wronged and the abuser will face exactly the retribution he/she was using as a threat. Incredible, I wouldn't change a word of it. I just hope there isn't a personal reason you seem to understand this so well ❤️‍🩹




noahfencebut says...


thank you so much, you%u2019re very kind. i%u2019m glad the piece had the effect i intended.

corrective rape isn%u2019t something i have personally experienced, but it%u2019s a big issue in trans and queer communities and i have heard about many experiences of it. i used my own experiences of people trying to suggest ways to %u2018fix%u2019 me being transgender to frame the stories of corrective rape i have heard from trans and queer peers.

thank you again for your kind words <3



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232 Reviews

Points: 674
Reviews: 232

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Thu May 04, 2023 5:10 am
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rainforest wrote a review...



hello,

i would just like to preface that i haven’t done a review in a hot minute, so i apologize if i’m a little rusty.

this is very powerful and i applaud you for being able to depict something very dark and really dig deep to tell this awfully truthful reality that so many individuals have experienced. the language used in this is very well done and i absolutely admire the formatting. it is extremely intentional.

i think that the opening statement/definition regarding the subject matter of the poem does a great job at creating a juxtaposition against the piece, as the formatting itself is extremely interesting and purposeful. it almost reads to me as a third party speaking the statement, rather than the narrator. even though it adds to the level of effectiveness, i wonder if this can be altered and stitched into the poem itself. it would add a level of fluidity and establish the subject matter of the poem as the reader continues to read the piece. it may take away the level of intentionality you are achieving, but i think that it is something you could play around with in future poems. besides this, i have no other critiques.

once again, i appreciate the time and effort you put into crafting this piece. have an amazing day.

-rainforest




noahfencebut says...


hi rainforest!! thank you so much for your kind words, i really appreciate the feedback. i%u2019m glad that the poem is successful in conveying the truth of corrective rape as it isn%u2019t something i have personally gone through, but i know it is a big issue for the queer and trans community. i%u2019m also really appreciative that you enjoy the form and that you feel it adds to the poem as i never want to create a form that contributes nothing to the piece.

and thank you for that suggestion, i%u2019ll definitely explore it in future poems and it%u2019s a really interesting point!

thank you so much again, and have a lovely day <3




Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.
— Bernard Malamud