boyhood kommos
On the nature of transitioning:
Gunlock child.
Ruined by his nature,
his aching, gnawing
womb
heaving, almost retching—
the sour taste. The demon brine.
And the heifer’s slicked newborn
haunts those lost ovules,
his body, canon fodder to a cruel god.
Facing many graphic eruptions—
and there is no end in sight.
No drastic escape looms.
This is cyclical.
Sisyphean.
Release stretches far away like a swelling
sea, hanging—taunting—like the fat full moon
and a cutthroat crowd watches; defines.
Here is a freak of nature / Here is a sick girl.
Find no end to it.
Find no deep muscle to purge.
Thrombosis lodged deep in his larynx
sees stutters edge forth—
Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Mary.
Why would you create me like this?
This body…
a death sentence
congenital:
under you, I am purged,
under you, I am drowned.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,755 Reviews
Heyy! Here up with a review
So this poem starts with an unborn; ruined by his nature.. defining it's demonic behaviour inside the womb
Then the child is upon the land and there how the devilish things start to happen, the details of the child made it look a freak which is more like something paranormal, "a demonic freak ,a canon fodder to a cruel king.
The part where the child cried out about herself to god and asks why they made her like this was so emotion full and sympathetic cuz at the same time it shows how dangerous it could be
And the last lines added highlights to the poem
Overall, it made me feel that you're a good writer on such themes. Gave off a mixed and horrific vibe, details were quite good.. keep up with this.. >>
Hi
Iris here to leave a quick review!
One thing you've done wonderfully is including so many details in so few words. I often find that I don't like reading things where the author shoves a whole bunch of details into only a few words, but you didn't do this. You did the exact opposite of that and it's written amazingly <3 good job and I hope to read more someday! <3
thank you so much <3