donne said no (wo)man is an island.
oh, but how i have tried
to prove him wrong, to break myself
away.
this treacherous peninsula,
a promontory in my mind alone,
connected to the mainland by
only the narrowest
of paths,
and when the tide comes in
even that will vanish.
sitting on a stump,
i remember when the road was wide, fresh-paved
a pleasant stroll into a tangled
forest mind of stories,
before betrayals clear-cut it
and my mercurial mind
burned what was left.
the land is still fragile,
but coming back reed by reed,
nurse logs feeding new roots.
poison ivy covers the shore--
it might burn me when i
am forced to leave, but at least
if someone gets too close with axe-words
again, they will suffer
too.
here in the center lives
a day-dream garden
of flowers that have learned
to thrive on inconsistency.
i wish someone would long
to see them, fight through the jagged rocks,
the poison gates,
but that is too lazy and selfish
to expect of anyone.
though i never send to know
for whom the bell tolls,
i weep in secret at the sound,
never burdening the mainland
with my grief.
and when i wash into the sea,
the bells will never toll for me
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Hi there!
Your poem can tell a story. It may seem sad but it still has hope in it in some way. I imagine many things as I read throughout the story. My favorite stanza is:
"the land is still fragile,
but coming back reed by reed,
nurse logs feeding new roots.
poison ivy covers the shore--
it might burn me when i
am forced to leave, but at least
if someone gets too close with axe-words
again, they will suffer
too."
Seems every metaphorical in a way. I like it. But my favorite lines are the last ones.
"and when i wash into the sea,
the bells will never toll for me"
These lines are just pretty, I don't know why but it just seems pretty. It also can be both sad and happy at the same time. I like this poem. Keep on writing! Merry Christmas too^^
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
You're welcome!
Heyy, Good day to ya
So starting of quick:
"donne said no (wo)man is an island.
oh, but how i have tried
to prove him wrong, to break
myself away."
I haven't read much poetry to be honest, but I do like start of like how someone would start a story with a moral or lesson
"and my mercurial mind
burned what was left.
the land is still fragile,
but coming back reed by reed,
nurse logs feeding new roots.
poison ivy covers the shore--"
Love how metaphorical this is [or perhaps literal??] From how I interpret it; it tells me that this person cut themselves off from others but when reconnecting, the bonds are slowly forming again.
"it might burn me when i
am forced to leave, but at least
if someone gets too close with axe-words
again, they will suffer
too."
Mmmmh, wonderful. Again, from what I can see; this is suggesting that forming bonds is risky and when you are forced to break them, it will hurt you. But you find respite in the fact that it will hurt them too.
"and when i wash into the sea,
the bells will never toll for me"
Even if I am a bit confused about this one. I think it might be suggesting that you think that if you are gone, you will be forgotten[?]
Overall, I quite liked this, even if poetry is not my cup of tea. A metaphor that links to what feels like personal experience in a matter that everyone faces at some point.
Have a nice day!
Thanks for the review! It might help if you read the inspiration poem %u201CNo man is an island%u201D by John Donne https://allpoetry.com/No-man-is-an-island. It%u2019s a pretty well-known piece, so I guess I assumed the reader would have heard of it. Probably should edit to add a link.
The regrowth section is meant to be the opposite of rebuilding bonds-the speaker feels she needs to remain disconnected in order to heal.
The ending is a pretty direct reference to the poem-in the end, the speaker feels her isolation is so complete that when she dies, no one will mourn her.
Ah, my apologies, I will be giving it a read and yours as well again afterwards. Thanks again for the clarification
This tells a story, i really enjoyed it and it made me imagine what the actual story was about, it was sad, yet happy in its own way, you should make more, this one was a really good one, i enjoyed the story you were trying to tell!
Thank you!
your welcome