Oblivious Heart

"Barloc! Come here. Now where have you run off to?" Cybele hurried around the house going from living room to kitchen to closets, looking inside any place big enough for a small boy to hide. She frantically lifted up the laundry basket lid and rummaged through the clothes. She ran into every room searching up and down, left and right, opening cabinets and pushing aside furniture. Cold sweat started to run through her face as she started to get more and more worried. It had not taken her this long to find the boy before.

Cybele, a slender woman of thirty two, had few wrinkles and slight dark circles under her eyes. Her hair naturally curly and shoulder length would have been beautiful had she the time to manage it and keep it orderly. She often wore old skirts that outlined her thin but slightly curvaceous body. Wearing skirts to her ankles, that were close enough to the skin to outline her body but loose enough to scurry around. She gave off an air of kindness that was empowered by her humble looks.

She had been a woman full of shortcomings. As a child, she had sought to become a famous actress. She auditioned for the school play but having not a slick of talent, she was instantly rejected. She did not want to be discouraged from her dream but her mother yelled at her telling her to forget such foolish ideas so she gave up on her dreams. Having graduated from high school with no funds or a drive to get into college made her stop with her education and pursue any job she could attain. She had been a waitress, a secretary, a janitor, and a nanny. Her life thus far had been long and dull but she had not yet been overly discouraged.

When working one day for the Cormwell family as a maid, she witness the son of the family doing crack and with discretion and out of concern she told his parents. The parents confronted their son but he played dumb.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't do drugs. That old hag is trying to exert her vengeance on be because she hit on me and I told her to back off," responded the son.

Cybele, shocked and humiliated at the false accusations, tried to defend herself but the Cormwells took their son's side and fired her.

Back at her small, rundown apartment, she sat for days with disappointment without luck in finding a new job. Several days later she received a phone call from a friend.

Through the phone the woman, raised and lowered her voice in a melodious pattern as she said, "Cybele, I have excellent news. It's absolutely great. I'm sure it'll interest you! Paul the new assistant manager was talking to Samuel about Ms. Ballantine. Turns out she ordered him to find her a good nanny for her son."

"Orva what does that have to do with me?"

"Cybele has your brain stopped functioning! Listen up that woman is filthy rich. She lives in a gorgeous mansion. I'm sure she'll offer you a good salary if you go ask for the job."

The conversation kept going with Cybele and Orva arguing until it was decided that Cybele would attempt to get the job.

When Cybele first met Ms. Ballantine she was extremely nervous sitting at her home office. Ms. Ballantine did not meet Cybele's eyes; she only looked over her resume and credentials. Ms. Ballantine, a beautiful woman of no compare, always wore formal clothing. She was extraordinarily composed and elegant in every manner. Cybele was starting to sweat with worry that she would not get hired.

Ms. Ballantine slightly tilted her head and almost met Cybele's gaze as she said, "It seems..." She stopped when the phone rang and diverted her attention to the caller. "What is it now...that can not be...when I left today it was... can you not do anything... I will go there myself. Try not to screw up until I get there."Afterwards she hung up the phone and stood up. Cybele rose as well. " I apologize but I must leave now and since I do not have the time to continue this interview I will stop it here," said Ms. Ballantine.

"Ma'am please.."

"You can start tomorrow morning. Do not be late. I will speak with you about the salary afterwards." She escorted Cybele out of her office and lead her to the door.

Cybele getting more and more worried felt her heart sink until she heard a loud cheery voice. "Look, I found a magical stone! Is it not wonderful," said the boy with no worry in the world. Cybele, relieving all her stress at once, sighed and dropped on her knees.

Ms. Jenkins embraced the boy.Barlocwas happily smiling, unaware of what he had just put Ms. Jenkins through.

"Barlocyou can't just go off to where ever you please without telling me first,"saidCybele in a soft, weary voice.

Barlocwith light breaming from his eyes looked right at Cybele and started rambling on with an accelerated pace about what he had been doing. "You would not believe what I saw by my window. There was this huge beam of light but it was not coming from the sun. It looked like it was coming from the planet I saw the other day when we were waiting for mommy to come home the other night. So I climbed out the window."

"Oh dear lord." Cybele interrupted. " No wonder you're covered in bruises and scratches.Are you hurt. Are you bleeding?" She examined child as he went on.

" I fell on my side but I got right up because if I did not hurry the light could leave and I would not be able to see it again. Then, then I ran to the giant tree in the back yard because I was following it. But when I got to the tree I could not see it anymore. I started looking all over around the tree. I found Mr. Kritanta, the grasshopper, and asked him where the light from the planetThanatos had gone to. He gestured me follow him so I did. I crawled all over the place to see if the aliens from Thanatoswere hiding somewhere. I really wanted to find them so they could take me toThanatos.It must be wonderful there. And mommy could also come and play.On my way back I found this stone. It must be from Thanatos."

" Barlocyou mustn't go around imagining all these unrealistic fantasies. These dreams of yours will only end up damaging you. You could get hurt going on these imaginary adventures. Look you even got hurt this time." She held his tiny arm ever so gently and continued, " Look at you now. You have a cut on your elbow and are even bleeding."

"But they are not imaginary, they really happened!"protested Barloc.

Cybele got up from her knees and led the boy from the hand to the kitchen. "Come along. I need to tend to your wound."

WhileCybele cleaned Barloc'scuts and put bandages on him, he kept swinging his legs and occasionally bounced his body. He suddenly stopped, raised his upper body in a slow motion and then snapped straight up.

"I just remembered! Mommy promised that she would take me to see the fishes," he said enthusiastically.

"The aquarium? I didn't think your mother had time for that. She just seems so busy."

"No! She promised so she has to take me!"

"Well if that's the case then I'm glad she can make time to have a fun day with you."

The following day Barlocwoke up earlier than usual. He got out from bed and ran to his mother's room. He went to her bed and got on top of it but his mother was not there. He figured she must already be up so he went to look for her in her bathroom. She was also not there. He ran downstairs and looked for his mother first in her office, then in the family room and kitchen. She was nowhere to be found.

He thought if anyone knew where his mother was it would have to beCybele since although Imogen was rarely at home she never left her son alone. She always had someone hired to look after him. Barlocthen dialed Cybeleto ask her if she knew anything. But just as he was waiting for her to pick up he heard the front door open. Without waiting for Cybele to pick up, he dropped the phone and ran towards the door in anticipation that it would be his mother. He was soon filled with disappointment when he sawCybele standing at the door. She gave him a melancholic smile and spoke, "My you are up early."

"Do you know where mommy is?"

Cybele put her purse down on a table stand and put her coat up. She walked closer to the boy. "What would you like to eat for breakfast? I can get you whatever you want."

"I want to know where mommy is. She is not here. I already looked everywhere. She said today she would be taking me to see the fishes."

Cybele made Barlocsit down and she sat besides him on the family room's couch. "Honey, I'm so sorry but your mother called me this morning to come in and look after you. It appears there were some problems with some documents so she had to go to work and take care of the situation. She said afterwards she had to go on a business trip to deal with something else. She said she would back in a week."

"But she promised me we would see the fishes." Barloc, the boy who Ms. Jenkins had only seen smiling throughout all the time she had taken care of him, had now a sorrow stricken visage and teary eyes.

"Don't feel bad I'm sure your mother will take you to the aquarium when she gets back."

"But I wanted to go with her today. It has to be today."

Cybele got up and walked towards the wide windows that reached from the ceiling to the floor. She pushed to the side the curtains, gestured to the outsideand said, "Look it started to rainand the ground is all mucky. Maybe today was not the best time to go out. I hear the weather will get worse later on. There is going to be heavy rain which would not have been ideal for you to go out. It wouldn't have been safe to drive back in such weather. When your mother gets back you could go on a nice sunny day to set the mood and maybe afterwards you could go and get ice cream or something."

"NO! I had to be today. She was going to take me today."

Cybele started to feel uneasy. She did not know how to calm the boy and raise his mood so as a last attempt she said, "If you are so insistent in going today then I can take you."

"You can't it has to be mommy."

Barlocdid not know what to do. He thought Cybele was his friend, that she would understand, but she was acting like all the other adults. Every single one of his previous caretakers had told him that his mom was too busy and certainly next time would be the time she kept her promises but so far Barloccould not remember a time when his mother had kept a promise to him and although they were not kept he still had the same amount of anticipation and hope that each time would be the day she came through for him. This would only make his disappointment all the greater.

Later in the day Barlocwas in his room playing with his fire truck, a present he had received from his father before he passed. He then turned to the window when lightning started flashing. He wondered if Mr.Kritanta was alright. Before he had left from looking for the Thanatos aliens, Mr.Kritanta had assured him that if he spotted them thenhe would surely inform him.

He wanted to receive word from him as soon as possible because he was certain that if he meet theThanatos aliens then he would be able to bear the disappointment from that morning.

Barlocwalked to the door and opened it as carefully as he could. He sneaked to the top of the stairs to spy onCybele who was downstairs talking to a friend.

"I know, I know. It's just that I'm not sure on how to deal with the situation. I don't have children of my own so I'm just at a loss on what to do," Cybele kept talking and arguing in a concerned voice.

Barloc figured Cybele would be a while, therefore it was the perfect time for him to carry out his plan. He went back to his room making sure not to make a loud noise. He put on his jacket and boots, opened the window and started descending. Despite his room being on the second floor, Barlocknew well enough how to get to the bottom. He had left his room countless of times through the window before. Soon enough he started to think he was a master at it. He would grab onto the gutter and use the spaces between the bricks stepping with the side of his small feet for stability. Then he would grab on to a tree branch near by, get on top of it and climb down the tree.

As soon as he got down he dashed to the far end of his yard. His back yard encompassed a large about of land. Barlocliked having all the clear space to play but he enjoyed the forest that was beyond the yard because it was best for exploring and having adventures.

Barloc reached the huge oak on the edge of the yard and searched around the trunk. He could not find Mr. Kritantaso he decided to go into the woods because he figure it anyone would want to take refuge from the storm then it most certainly would have to be in the forest. There were more places to hide there after all.

The rain started pouring down harder but Barloc did not mind. He liked the rain because it made his search more exciting. He kept walking into the forest until he heard a loud sound. He ran to the noise and saw a tree sizzling from the lighting that had just struck it's side. Hopefully it had not caught on fire. Looking at the tree, a thought occurred to him. Perhaps the Thanatos aliens were the cause of the storm. If they were creating the lightning then they must be looking for something or someone. If only he could find where they were. To find them he searched for the tallest tree and climbed it.

He sat there for awhile until the storm died down. He wondered how long he had sat there, waiting. He thought Cybele must be upset crying all over the place looking for him. He though he should probably go back and continue his hunt the next day. But even if Cybele were there crying, his mother wouldn't be there. He was getting ready to climb down when he spotted a small clearing in the sky; a bit of light penetrated through it from in-between the dark clouds. He got on the branch and stood on top of it; he extended his right arm and stretched out his hand.

"There you are! I have been looking for you all over...," he said then stopped as if listening. Then he continued his conversation with a creature only he could see and hear, pausing at occasions when the other spoke."Is your planet fun? …..Wow! I would love to go but I bet mom would hate it. It's weird but she must love working because she prefers it over me.... Mr. Kritanta is there with you! No wonder I could not find him.... Dad is? Really? I guess if dad is there then it must be alright." He stretched his body, leaning it forward to reach the creature's hand. When he had a full grasp it, he gave his biggest and most genuine smile.

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Cybele was laying on her bed with her hair wild and unkempt and bags around her eyes. She had not gotten up in days. Burdened by her feelings, she was unable to get up. Her mind would wonder from time to time but it always went back to that day and now that was what was dominating her mind.

Cybele was preparing herself to give a speech. She would have preferred not to give the speech but she was ordered by Barloc's mother to do so, even though Ms. Ballantine never wanted to see her again because she blamed Cybele for what happened. She just wanted to keep appearances.

Cybele, full of pain and guilt, tried to compose herself. She was now standing besides the coffin looking at the beautiful face of the boy.

"Poor child," came a voice from behind her.

Cybele turned around. There was an old, short woman with brown skin that looked like leather.

"It's a shame you know.", the old woman continued. "His father's death had a great impact on him. His mother had to work more and he was constantly being taken care of by strangers. I wonder under who of these women's watch did he die on."

"I don't know," responded Cybele, ashamed to tell the truth.

"I have heard Barloc's mother, Imogen, going around mentioning to everyone that he was a happy child who had a great life. But for anyone who really watched over him, they would know that the boy was often secluded and depressed. Martha, who I just came from talking to, was saying that Barloc one day while playing outside came back to her without his gloominess speaking to her that he had discovered something amazing."

Martha was the woman who had taken care of Johnny before Cybele. She wondered if Barloc had ever displayed such melancholic behavior with her and even though she could not think of any instance before the day of his death she still reproached herself for not noticing anything.

"How exactly did he die?" continued the old woman.

"It appears he went outside to play in the rain, climbed up a tree. He probably got stuck and got scared so when he tried to get down he slipped and fell."

"Such negligence. Whoever was in charge of him must be feeling it for sure." The old woman looked to the side and spotted Lidia. "Excuse me but I must go offer my condolences to Imogen."

With that she left and Cybele stood again, alone, staring at the boy's face.

His mother wanted her to tell everyone how happy Barloc had been and claim that the accident had all been her fault for leaving the boy unattended, to tell everyone what a wonderful boy Barloc had been and how wonderful of a mother Imogen had been. Cybele was unsure of presenting this information to everyone.

She thought back at that day. After talking with her friend for advice she had called up Barloc's mother and was begging her to return to the house, that her work could probably wait at least a day. Ms. Ballantine refused to go back and when Cybele went to look for Barloc she did not find him. She looked all over and eventually ended up in the forest where she soon found his fragile body, motionless, on the cold wet mud, with blood coming from his head.

She knew not how Ms. Ballantine felt anymore. She did not want to spew lies but she was also afraid of calling the mother out so she did as she was ordered.

Now on her bed she regretted everything from her incompetence to her submissiveness; how she wished she could have done things differently. She was often surrounded by dirty looks that reminded her of Barloc's death. People lashed at her all the fault for what happened. She was still laying in bed and as the words of others pierced her heart even more. She was the one most affected by Barloc's death so after much contemplation she decided to meet up with Barloc at the planet Thanatos.