When I was eight years old, I decided that I had no purpose in the world. I was torn apart by this lost feeling that consumed me, and within months I decided that I was unimportant. At the time, I had no idea that I had depression; I just assumed I was the bad egg of the batch.
Terrified that my mother would confirm my fears, I created a shoebox that would hold all of my negativity and keep me content. It started as nothing significant, I would write little notes saying what I wanted to be or how I was feeling, and, at first, it worked. But it wasn’t long before the notes became longer and more harmful. I would write cruel letters to myself daily and tuck them away in my shoebox. Every day I would mutter to myself, “In a few months, you will read this letter and see how silly you were. Just have to get through a few more months.” However, my shoebox steadily got heavier and heavier as the months and years rolled by. What had started as a helpful exercise to hide away all resentment had transformed to a malevolent threat I was too scared to confront.
Perhaps, I was terrified that everything I wrote about myself would become reality if I read them, or maybe I just wasn’t ready to confront my inner demons. Within time, the box was forgotten and consumed by the depths of my closet never to be resurfaced. Whether it was thrown away, or left behind somewhere, I will never know. Some days, I doubt if I will ever overcome this destructive mind of mine. But I do know one thing, when you get thrown a shoebox full of problems and you don’t feel up to facing it, open it. No matter what, open it. I didn’t, and it still haunts me to this day.
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140,224 Literary Works • 673,047 Reviews
Hello there
Interesting concept, and I believe that the very real threat of depression haunts everyone at least once in their life. Others, it haunts us more than one day. (Yes, I am a depression conqueror.) The point that you were trying to get across was executed well enough, but just from this short passage, I already know you can do better.
A writer's best friend(s) is(are) sensory detail. Sights, smells, feelings/textures, sounds, and tastes. Granted, this is a more emotional feeling piece, but it would have been excellent to add in a specific day that this "I" person wrote, and what they saw, felt, etc. It will not only add detail to the story but give the reader a sense of depth of the character and the scenery. Still, not bad.
I like how you added in that it just sat there in the end. As if to say, you got the feelings out on paper, but they were still there and were un-confronted because you never re-read them. Nice emotional touch there.
Overall, I think its a very personal piece, so I'm trying not to step on your toes by being overtly aggressive with it. I liked it, but it could be so much more personal and emotionally deep than it is right now. Show the reader, do not tell them. Let them draw their own conclusions based on what they are given to read. Thats the key for good writing.
Keep marchin' on
--Ash
Its a nice piece. It is more of an account than a short story. The way you go about the narration is good and the way you wrap it up is also nice. Maybe the piece needed a little more push, if you know what I mean. But nevertheless the plot is nice and the way you've let the story unfold is applauded. Maybe the end could have been better if you would have walked an extra mile and experimented with it but it nevertheless is a good ending. Well done. Cheers!
Thanks!
This is a very good story. It gives the reader a lot of advise and will really help a lot of people. one thing I have to say is that I am rather confused about the end of the story. Is the person still depressed or not? did the box do it's job or was it a waste of time? could you please put some more detail on the end of the story please! but other wise it is very well written.
Thanks! I wrote this ages ago, but I think I can do a somethin' somethin' to the end.
I like it! I like how you put a lesson and used the story to tell it. It kind of made you think it was going downhill but then you twisted it in the end to a good ending. Nice. I almost just wish that there was more about the box and where it ended up...just cause I like the spooky-ness of it.
It's great the way it is though!
Hey Noel,
First thing's first, Welcome here! I'm Puck and it's quite nice to meet you.
This is neat. Your work is neat. I haven't noticed any grammatical errors, the words flow quite well despite all the pessimism.
The story seems a bit common. You know, depressed person writes about his/her angst/unimportance/alienation with a view that it'll be the solution but finding it not.
Anyway, This is really good. Hope to read more from you.
Keep writing!
Thanks! I'm definitely guilty of writing myself a common angst story every now and then.