जननी ब्रह्मांड की,
संतुलन संसार का।
साहिल है भटके का,
और किनारा मझधार का।
वो प्रकृति है खिली हुई सी,
रंग ज़िन्दगी की बहार का।
कैसी अतुलनीय रचना है खुदा की
औरत बाग़ है गुलज़ार सा
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140,273 Literary Works • 673,078 Reviews
Hi ! As beautiful and as heart touching as the last one. You are nailing it in Hindi. This poem is short but lovely. You proved worth of women in so little but impactful words. The last two lines are just " WOW" They sum up the whole poem. .Your work touched my heart. As a girl, It is relatable to me on an another level. Thank you for sharing this. Continue to write in Hindi I will be always here to read, review and appreciate.
Thank you for such a lovely poem.
Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya
Thank you for such immense appreciation. Overwhelmed by the love being showered upon my work. So grateful to y'all. Than so much!!
Also I have posted several others in Hindi @BhavyaMehta123. So read them too! Thanq
I will read them too.
Just took little longer time to read as i am not good in hindi. But It was great!
Thank you @sulagna. Well I request you to keep reading my works ! I would love it.
Hi, I'm your fan now!:D
Keep writing!
This poem may be short, but there's an immense energy that it gives out, the topic 'Woman' in itself is powerful. A perfectly balanced poem. There's so much good that you have brought out about women, yet some people fail to see it. I love how you have used metaphors in this poem which is one of your talent. This poem has a good structure and is easy to read. I love the title of the poem, which you have justified figuratively.
"संतुलन संसार का।
साहिल है भटके का,
और किनारा मझधार का।"
Love these lines, particularly. These lines have so much to tell. Balance, which is being destroyed by humans by killing the girl child, female foeticide. How cruel is this world.
Women are so powerful that they are oppressed so much in the society. I don't want to get deep into this, but I feel that no matter how much freedom may be give to some 'privileged' women, we are always bound to the societal norms. There's always chains that we cannot be rid of. That is one sad and ugly reality of women's life.
"कैसी अतुलनीय रचना है खुदा की
औरत बाग़ है गुलज़ार सा"
Was it intentional or did you forget to add punctuation? I feel you could add them, as the poem would look complete with it.
Your ending lines are always perfect! It just amazes me every time. I'm so happy to find writings in Hindi too. People (including me), today, turn to read poetry in English, but poems in Hindi hit differently. And that I have come to know by reading your works. I'm thankful for you to lead me in a new direction.
And as always, looking forward to read more of your works
Best wishes,
I
Hello again @mememimer !
I am extremely glad to know that you loved my work. And it gives me immense pleasure to know that my works have changed your perspective about Hindi writings. And yes the remark you left about punctuation. I am sorry. But that wasn't done intentionally. I was in a hurry while posting and so I couldn't put punctuation. I'll just keep that in mind next time. As for now, thank you very very much for all your appreciation.
Looking forward to your work!
I bet this poem would be really great, I mean it, but... what happens if you don't speak Hindi? Should I just not read it? Because if you don't want me reading it I'm cool with that, if you want.