Thought, intellect, and culture, no wisdom impart,
Neither do books, literature, education and art.
A cultivated mind, seldom, sounds like a sage.
An illiterate fellow, much wiser with age,
Patience and perseverance are the seeds of maturity.
Not a widely-read, sitting on the couch, drinking tea.
Calamity, paves the way for a subtle and a refined mind.
Whilst the frivolous well-educated, by wisdom left behind.
Excellence, only through self-culture and ethics, is achievable.
Gaining experience and sophistication from pages, is unbelievable.
So, whoever good sense and careful judgment strives to behold.
“Stay far from the madding crowd of books,” a wise man, foretold.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
hello
okay, first thing's first: I love experimentation and what you have here is a unique thing. you talked about wisdom and how to acquire it. in this essay you brought in a good debate between knowledge from theoretical studies and knowledge acquired from practical life and guessing from the upshot of this essay--
it seems that you favor the latter.
technically the essay is very contemporary and fresh. the rhyming is precise and it doesn't kill the meaning. a recurring problem which arises in writing essays is that the writer gets swayed away from the subject and what he's trying to express but in this form/ medium that doesn't poise as a problem and you showed that brilliantly. you stuck to the point.
a few of the parts i thought was a little more direct, if you know what i mean and maybe you could use a little more subtly in it. for example.
and
anyway, i thought this was something very fresh, contemporary and fun to read. a good way to express non-fiction
thank you,
Puck
hope it helps
I agree with the previous comments. This is a better poem than an essay or article. It would therefore do much better tagged as a poem. Having said that i think it is great. There is so much meaning to it. But maybe you could have personalised it more. What you are saying is very clever and indepth but it is hard, if at all possible, to relate it to you. I think for this piece it would be very effective if it was personal to you. For that i am not saying change the whole thing, just a litttle bit of a push in the personal side of things. Also this can be intepreted in many ways which is great. But if it is the case that you wanted people to get a certain specific meaning out of it, then in this comlex web of words you should use a few pointers to show a little meaning to it or at least what the meaning is to you.
I think this would be better catagorized as a poem. I did like it, though.
You used a good choice of words. I got a good image of the man even thought you never described him persay. You painted a good picture of what it means to be excellent. I would advise working a little bit on the rhythm. It seemed a bit choppy.
Thanks for the review.
I think you heard of the British poet Alexander Pope. He wrote back in the 18th centuray an essay in the form of a poem, entitled," An Essay On Criticism". I do not see any inconvenience of categorizing this piece under Essay.
Hey n1o!
This seems like poetry (which I am not experienced with), so you'd probably get more reviews if you tagged it as such, since there are many poets on this site. Either way, I'll give a review a shot.
This is really deep. I like it alot! It's interesting and the way you wrote it was beautiful.
"Not a widely-read, sitting on the couch, drinking tea."~ You might want to rephrase this. You say 'not a' so you should say what or who you're referring to; and right now it seems like you're referring to a widely-read, which is silly
But I do like this! It's good!
Feel free to PM me if you want to; and keep writing!
~Shady