Mighty Fortress that once protected me.
And kept me safe the painful memories.
Thou have suffered more pain and agonies.
As a child, I climbed your walls to escape,
your kindness and love,
and fell in love with the world outside.
With its pride and lust, and envy.
When I screamed in anger, you trembled.
As I cursed your name, your bricks tumbled, and exploded.
You became a ruin that was a sign of my sins.
And now I am a man,
I come back to the place,
where as a child, I felt so protected,
and now I am so vulnerable.
I have come back to build again
My Mighty Fortress.
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140,722 Literary Works • 673,680 Reviews
Hello there! Happy review daaay! Hope you're having fun yourself!
I liked what you've got here, it's nostalgic and realistic. Loved how you've used "Mighty Fortress" as well.
In the second line, I think you're missing out a "From" and the line should be "And, kept me safe from the painful memories" with a comma after "And."
Reminds me of my childhood. Those times were golden! No worries, no responsibilities! :') "and fell in love with the world outside" << that line represents the misfortune you describe latter. Good job.
Oh, the tragedy of life! We forget where we belong in the search of something new. We lose ourselves. In the last line, it could be less confusing, sounds somewhat odd to me. :3 Though I understand what you mean there but, still.
I always loved hopeful endings, so yay!
Also, hello from my team, Team Jawbreaker!
This poem is very good. It makes you feel something, even if you're not sure what. I like the formatting, and the way it flows. My only suggestion would be that you clarify the second and third lines. When I read it the second time (as I often do with poems I like) I got a little confused as to the meaning. But the overall meaning of the poem is clear, and your use of capitalization and paragraph breaks really added to the enjoyment of it. Keep up the good work!
This is probably the best poem I have read on this sight so far! I really like this poem. It has very good description. You should make a story like this!