Where I must go

Right now all I can say is wow this is a really good piece I felt as if it were me thinking these thoughts. I did not see any grammatical errors at first glance. However i think you might could make it more clear here and there who you are talking about. like for instance you said
" I remembered last night
When they fought
They blamed me
Was it really my fault?"

You could make it clear who "they" are. Also I noticed that you said
"But I reminded myself that I was one of the freaks
So I needed to die"
How does the person narrating know he/she is a freak and why does he/she need to die?
Overall this was great I loved the emotion displayed in here. Good Job! One more thing: Enjoy what you write because if you write something and hate it then readers probably won't like it but if you write something and enjoy it then readers will probably enjoy it.

My first customer, woohoo! Alright, here's your review.

First stanza:

"Painless virtue is what I desired
A desire so strong to leave
A force so delicate that I feared it
But needed it."

I really liked the last two lines here, they play against each other nicely, with a slightly longer line first, then a short, sweet line after it to contradict it and give a peek into the depth and emotions of the narrator's personality.

"I felt tears dripping down my cheeks
This is not a perfect time to cry
But I reminded myself that I was one of the freaks
So I needed to die"

Here, I think the first two lines could use a little revision. The rest of the poem isn't as straightforward as just going out and saying the person in crying. The rest is more metaphorical and deeper, so I'm sure there's a more creative way of conveying the same meaning. Also, "This is not the perfect time to cry" seems a little out of place, because it doesn't have the same flow as the rest of the work. On the other hand, the last two lines are brilliant, please, please, PLEASE, don't change them! They are incredibly sad, but with a certain edge to them of a person who is just so broken that they are able to convince themself that their own death was a good thing, because they were some kind a monster, a "freak." I'm sure that's something a lot of people can realate to.

"I began, my heart thumping
I picked up the object
But I didn’t know what to do
Am I weak?

I remembered last night
When they fought
They blamed me
Was it really my fault?

… Yes was and always will be"

Not much to say here. I like how you manage to pick up the poem a little here instead of just repeating yourself, sort of like the "rising action" of a short story. Also the question at the end of the stanzas are a nice touch, especially the answer, which adds a sort of chilling element there, showing just how twisted things are becoming. But again, maybe try not to be so blunt, add in a line or two of something else in between or experiment with different word choice. Be creative and try out a few things.

"A sudden rage befell me
I felt it, I desired it
I picked up my assistant
And I plunged it into my side

Someone should’ve stopped me
But they didn’t
The deed was done
My life is gone
With no return policy

I wish all of it didn’t flash before me
Because I despised it
But it did
And the pain both physical and emotional came back"

This part's pretty good. I really liked refering to the weapon as an "assisant", which I found interesting and how once life is gone there is "no return policy". It shows just how final and devestating something like that really is. Little critisicm here.

"I lay there broken, lifeless
As a fallen leaf
That will never return to the tree
To hell is where I descend
Leaving a note to preserve my memory. "

This last stanza is probably my favorite poem out of the entire work. It is beautiful and sad, a being broken and never returning to what it once was. Does the last line refer to a suicide note?

Overall, I thought the poem was sad but well-written with lots of emotion, which really is the point of poetry. I think with a little revising, like switching up lines, changing words (using different word choice), or maybe taking away the bluntness of some parts and slowing it down may help it. But really, it doesn't need a lot of work.

Hope my review is helpful!:)

Keep writing!

This was beautiful. Beautiful.

Hey,
Ok this isn't a bad poem and in fact there were bits that I rather enjoyed. I do feel as if it is a bit cliché and while there are nothing wrong with clichés if they are done well, I believe that this needs some improvement.
I agree with Lumi in some sense that you need to work on your descriptive skills, but they will come with practise and taking risks. For me it is maybe a little to safe. In the sense that you have taken a wildly used idea and haven't really changed it or put a new twist on it.
I did like

Painless virtue is what I desired
A desire so strong to leave
A force so delicate that I feared it
But needed it.

Good afternoon.

Unless your goal is to tell a story without poetic elements, techniques, or respectable flow, I believe you’ve failed. There was nothing engaging, riveting, or enthralling about this piece—in fact, it falls under the vast, sprawling ocean of Emo Poetry that is often unrefined, static, and full of navel-gazing. The idea of cathartic poetry is all well and good, but when there is nothing for the reader to take other than “Oh, this person must be so sad,” then you as an author who has placed your work in a public place has made a mistake.

With that said, I’d much rather see this in prose form. At least then I wouldn’t have failed standards.

You should look into refining your descriptive skills; there are several stanzas with nothing but quick, empty thoughts that are neither new, nor interesting.

If you stick with this idea—this poem of suicide and why you/the narrator committed it—then veil it. Mask your meaning and connect it to things not typically associated with the idea. As a poet, you should find joy and interest in beautiful things, and the connotations thereof. The one time you deliver this sort of power is when you say:

I lay there broken, lifeless
As a fallen leaf
That will never return to the tree