Weaving is not a suitable replacement for sketching Calypso thought with her teeth clenched, wrestling with the silky, colorful threads. The whole thing confused her. Where did the thread go? which direction did she move he comb? Athena sat next to her, gently guiding her step by step as Calypso made a mess of the loom.
This is pointless. I am never going to weave, even as an 'Olympian wife' . Calypso felt her body tense up at the last words, but she forced herself to relax. She was trapped, and tears nor hate would make this more bearable. But every time she tried to thing about her future as Adonis' wife, and 'face the facts', Jasons face refused to leave her. She found herself thinking about his tall build, blonde hair, and hazel eyes.
Love is a curse, she thought bitterly. Especially when your is a dilema like this. A loud crash violently pulled Calypso out of her daydream, and she jumped back with a little shriek, the stool tumbling behind her. Athena covered her mouth, stiffling a laugh.
"I very rarely see somebody break a loom. Why don't you take a break, and I'll construst a new one," Athena said, her dark eyes sparkling with laughter. Calypso's cheeks flushed red. She got up and walked outside, happy to take a break from that stupid loom. Adonis followed her outside into the garden.
He still has hope she thought. When she looked at him, she could almost see the gears inside his head turning, analyzing every possible escape route. Calypso seemed to be fighting an internal war, should she take away his hope? She debated with herself. Should she or shouldn't she tell him about her conversation with Athena? Could she even say it out loud? Calypso figured that she might as well since it was inevtiable. But how to tell him?
"Adonis, why do you think Calypso never got off this island until now?" she said faintly, not even sure he could hear her.
His face scrunched up, his mind being faced with a question it couldn't answer. "Magic?" He asked.
Calypso sighed. "Currents" She responded, still unable to lift her voice above a whisper. "This island has its own current system. I don't know how, probably magic. Its most likely why you got stuck here, and why we can't escape."
His face held an expression of such shock, she might have laughed if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation.
"Nothing? What about an SOS? If we make a sign, maybe someone will help us."
Calypso shook her head, her dark braid swinging back and forth."The marriage ceremony is in two--less than two days now. There's not enough time." Adonis' jaw dropped.
"But there's got to be something we can do, right?" Adonis said, even though he didn't sound too convinced.
"I don't think so. At least, Athena made it sound like it and she's been against it since the very beginning."
Adonis sighed. "Nothing? What about--"
Calypso had never seen a grown man so close to tears before. The sickening, heavy, feeling of guilt settled into her stomach. Adonis had a life, a family, a home, maybe even a girlfriend. Yet the entire time she had only thought of herself. Calypso opened her arms and wrapped them around Adonis' waist. He opened his eyes with a shocked expression, but returned the embrace. He was a really nice guy and a great friend, but she still couldn't imagine being married to him Jason her mind whispered. You've loved him since you were seven, it's not going to disappear overnight. Calypso shuddered and tried not to think about it. Adonis gently pulled away. His eyes were red.
"Tell me about yourself, Calypso. I'd like to know at least something about my--my future wife." He seemed to choke on those last words.
"Now? This isn't the time, Adonis. We can do that later. Athena's going to come back in a minutes and--"
"Look," His voice was shakey. "I'm trying so hard not to yell. If we don't get my mind of this I'm going to do something really stupid."
"What do you want to know?"
"Any thing." Yeah, that clears it up.
"I'm the oldest of three childern. I have to two siblings, Helen and Hector. My father died several years ago, so now it's just me, my siblings, and my mother."
At the mention of her father, Adonis looked suprised, and sad. Calypso looked closer at him. Pity was there too. Pity was always there.
"What about you?" Calypso asked, eager to change the subject.
"My parents are divorced, and I have a twin sister named Cassandra," he replied.
Calypso smiled. "Cassandra...thats a pretty name."
"Yeah, yeah it is."
"Why don't you tell me about Cassandra?" Calypso said
"She's very pretty, boys seem to fall all over her. She left home when we were twelve. She went to this fancy boarding school in Athens. Now she goes to college in America, UCLA I think. I don't get to see her very often. "
"I hope I can meet her someday."
"I hope you can too."
"Do have any hobbies?" Adonis asked.
"I like to draw," Calypso replied. "You?"
Adonis said, "I guess you could count fishing...and I play a little bit of soccer." Calypso couldn't help but smile as she imagined Adonis playing soccer.
"What?" Adonis asked indignantly.
"Nothing," Calypso replied, stiffling her laughter. "I just didn't think you were the kind of person who played soccer."
"In Greece, soccer is the national sport. Just about everyone in Greece plays soccer," Adonis said.
"That's cool," Calypso said. "I've never played soccer before."
"Maybe one day I can teach you how to play," Adonis offered.
Calypso smilied. "That would be nice."
"Do you play any sports?" Adonis asked.
"I used to cheerlead," Calypso said. Adonis laughed.
"What's so funny?" Calypso asked,
"Nothing," Adonis replied, trying but not really succeeding at stiffling his laughter. "I've just heard about the typical American football cheerleader stereotype..." Calypso rolled her eyes.
"I take it you don't have cheerleaders in Greece?"
"We do," Adonis replied, clearly amused. "Though we don't have nearly as many cheerleaders as you do in America. You Americans really love football."
"I didn't even like cheerleading," Calypso lied. "Most of the other cheerleaders were stuck up and superficial, anyway." Adonis decided to drop the subject.
A moment later Athena appeared. Calypso got up with a sigh. "Looks like my break is over," she said as she followed Athena back into the cave.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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So, once again, I want to commend you on your dialogue. But instead of how it transmits information, just it in general. You don't have a lot of dialogue tags or actions along with what is really a lot of dialogue for such a short chapter, but it works; we still get a strong feeling of what their expressions are, how they're saying it.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but something that's been bugging me is Adonis. Was he like Calypso, kidnapped and tortured? I don't get that vibe from him, more like he just went out fishing one day and washed up on that shore. Yet, he doesn't seemed confused enough for that. So basically what I'm wondering is, how exactly did he get there? If you wanted, you could even have them talk about that with each other, their unique experiences, though I can see how at the moment that might be a little much is Adonis is still on edge.
Like Ranger said, you need to work on your grammar. I understand if you're just not good with that sort of thing, but there are some mistakes here that shouldn't get made; things like uncapitalized words at the beginning of sentences, not italicizing thoughts, things like that. Things that shouldn't be a problem.
I guess other than that, I don't really have much to say. Just waiting to see how it unfolds. As it is, it has a great start. Should be interesting to see where you take it.
Hey there! Yay, another chapter!
All right, so I think you've got a really beautiful opportunity for Calypso and Adonis to really get to know each other; right now it's all still pretty surfacey. They're finding out things about each other's family -- good. They're discovering hobbies and such. Is there anything else that one of them has that can bring things a bit deeper? I'd like to hear a little more about their characteristics; maybe have one of them share a story in which more of his or her personality is portrayed. Those little anecdotes are sometimes the best ways to find out more about someone.
This one part threw me off:
Where'd Adonis come from? Was he outside? Inside with them, watching Calypso try to weave? I don't have a great idea of where everyone is and what the entire setting is, and it gets confusing. Add some details about the scenery; there doesn't have to be a lot (in fact, too much description can be a big turn-off), but just enough so that I can have an easier time picturing the scene.
My last issue is the technical aspect of this piece; there are some misspellings and grammatical misuses, and I'd strongly suggest running Spellcheck (or better yet, use a dictionary!) over the chapter before you post it. Also, try reading your story aloud; sometimes your ear can pick up on a sentence that doesn't sound quite right, and can help you figure out what needs to be changed.
All right, that's all for now. Keep on writing, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes! Cheers. :]
Good job. I think this is a really neat idea for a story. The one thing I don't love is how fast Calypso seems to gives up. Then she decides to go try and depress Adonis as well. But hey, thats just me.
I also thought this was sort of a boring chapter. Not a ton happened other than Calypso and Adonis accepting their impending doom.
I think you meant to write"off" not "of".
Anyway sorry to nitpick. I really do like your story. Keep writing.
~Dragongirl