Jenna The Bean

Hi Mithrim,

I have to say I liked your poem. I thought the rhythm (as well as the repetition) was charming. I don't know what effect you were going for, but it made me think of a book of children's poem I had when I was a kid that were all a little quirky and odd but fun to read.

I will say I think the rhyme you established in the first stanza was very solid, so when you changed it up in the following two stanzas I was really thrown off (especially by the line "used to eat grass"). While I can totally picture a child nicknamed "the bean" eating grass, it was the change in rhyme that gave me pause.

I think the ending was a little inconclusive, even if it is supposed to be child-like. I felt like there could be something surprising or ironic in the final stanza to bring out the quirky flavor of this piece.

And never apologize for writing.

Hope this review is useful!

PS. As a completely random coincidence, my mother calls me "beans."

Dear, Mithrim96
I honestly do not intend to be a dick in this review but I will try my hardest to portray my distaste for this work in the most polite way my small brain can conjure up. ‘Jenna the Bean’ is a tale that lacks both substance and is too repetitive for this reader. I would have enjoyed this more if there was less repeating of the sentence “Jenna the bean, as her mother would say” Don’t get me wrong I find that repeating a sentence in a poem is quite a useful tool for all poets and writers alike however I do think it would have served the poem better if you did this to it:
Jenna the bean, as her mother would say
Acts like a queen but not everyday
Her memory is poor
Yet we all adore
Jenna the bean.

Jenna the bean, as her mother would say
Gets too busy to have time to play
So sleepy yet cheerful, a bundle of laughs
Jenna the bean, would eat grass.

Jenna the bean, as her mother would say
Is oh so cheerful, she is always quite gay
A shinning beacon of joyful play.

Jenna the bean, as her mother would say
Is quite a delight.
Now I am by no means a poet expert so there might be a few issues in this revision of your work, however I do find it more effective if the sentence “Jenna the bean, as her mother would say” is only at the begging of a paragraph. I do find there is potential in this poem and I cannot wait to read your future works with an egger mind to witness finely crafted works.
Sincerely,
The A