Just one part.

All the grammatical mistakes here have, probably, already been rectified, and I'm just here to give you my two cents.
"We all have a story, a girl in a tower, sheltered from the world.
We come and stealer her away
Expose her
To the world we live in, share the sky, dance under the stars.
You hold her
Tight
We all have a story, a girl we found, locked away in her own hart.
We dare them, hold out our hands, tempt them"

The imagery here is just brilliant. I could just imagine the night sky, and slow dancing in the wild. Deliciously well written stanza.

Now, I'd go on and on about the good parts, and trust me, I want to, but I want to get my little nit-picks out of the way first.


Some parts were a little stilted; maybe that's just me, but yeah:
"Together you dance in the field
Sharing a story"
I don't know why, but that last line is way too abrupt. Throws off the flow of the poem.
"Right there….in your tower"
Change it to:
"Right there-- in your tower"
Or
"Right there, in your tower"

That's really all the things that I didn't like. Apart from them, and the grammatical mistakes, this poem was like heaven to me.

Brilliant Work.
Keep it up

Sherlock

P.S. Forgive any and every typo, I'm sleepy and I'm still not used to using my iPad.

Hey there! I have a couple general comments and some specific ones too...I'll try not to repeat what Starleene caught, but I might have missed something.

"We all have a story, a girl in a tower, sheltered from the world.
We come and stealer her away
Expose her"

'Stealer' should just be 'steal' here. Probably just a typo.

"Then you realize, your apart of her story"

'Apart' is not one word: it should be split into 'a' and 'part'.

Starleene pretty much got the rest of the grammatical and punctuation stuff. Remember to be careful when you're typing- mistakes can always be avoided!

Also, I felt like the flow was stunted sometimes in this poem. There are a couple of line breaks which I think could be changed to make the flow better...

"To the world we live in, share the sky, dance under the stars.
You hold her
Tight"

I think this would sound better if you moved the 'tight' up to the line before it, after 'her'.

"A prince charming in the making
Her friends become yours
 yours become hers."

This first line, 'A prince charming in the making', is a little chunky in poetry. It halts the flow, both times it is used. Perhaps it could be edited a little bit?

All in all, it was a good poem, just watch out for little mistakes and maybe make the meaning a bit clearer? I don't think I really understood it. Good job!

Sapi

Hey there!

Starleene here!

I noticed your work and decided to pop in and see what it was about! Well then, let’s get right to it!

“We all have a story, a girl in a tower, sheltered from the world.
We come and stealer her away
Expose her”

Add a semi colon after away and a comma after her.

“To the world we live in, share the sky, dance under the stars.
You hold her
Tight”

If we look at this in the light of a story written as a poem then I believe that your best bet would be to add a semi colon after in. Also, a semi colon after her and period after tight.

“We all have a story, a girl we found, locked away in her own hart.
We dare them, hold out our hands, tempt them
To let down their walls.”

Typo I believe you meant heart. Semi colon after them and don’t capitalize the T in to.

“Together you dance in the field
Sharing a story
A prince charming in the making”

I think that your poem is mostly going to be made up of semi colons my friend! Semi colon after story and a period after making.

“Her friends become yours
yours become hers.
It becomes harder to draw the line between your stories.”

I don’t know but suddenly you change from using we to using the form you and yours. Was it intentional? Also, a comma after the first yours.

“Locked in your tower, she holds out her hand to you
Daring you
Now its your turn to tear down these walls”

And again, a semi colon after the first you and a period after the second you, and an apostrophe in its.

“These walls you’ve had your whole life
You look in her eyes Searching for the strength.
The word are there”

You need a period after life and searching shouldn’t be capitalized. Don’t forget to add and s to the end of word to pluralize it.

“On the tip of your tongue.
Then there’s the walls, the walls you’ve had your whole life
The ones that kept you safe”

I can only see that you need a period after life.

“The words are right there
Then you realize, your apart of her story
Just not till the end”

There needs to be a period after there. Also, you use the wrong form of your. You want to use you’re and add a semi colon after story.

“A prince charming in the making,
Just never made
These walls
The words
Right there….in your tower”

There needs to be a period after made, walls, and words. I don’t really understand the ending of this poem but all in all it was beautifully written and I could feel the emotion behind it, which is important in any poem.

Good Job! I really liked it and look forward to reading more from you!

Starleene Out.